Ailuropoda melanoleuca = Giant Panda/= vegetarische Bär

 

Vergleich: Siehe: Mammalia + Bärengruppe.

 

Pandas, China

Bambus ist die Hauptnahrung von Pandas. Eigentlich schwer verdauliche Kost für einen Bärenmagen. Bakterien helfen dabei, die Nahrung aufzuspalten. Bis zu zwölf Kilogramm Bambus vertilgt ein Panda pro Tag.

Sie fressen aber auch anderes. In diesem Panda-Zentrum in der Provinz Sichuan gibt es beispielsweise Möhrchen.

Bereits mit einem Jahr lernen Jungtiere zu klettern. Um in der Wildnis zu überleben, genügt das allein aber nicht. Die wenigsten Züchter schaffen es, Pandas auf ein Dasein in Freiheit vorzubereiten.

Sie leihen erwachsene Tiere daher zumeist gegen Bezahlung an Zoos aus. Die Einnahmen wiederum fließen in den Schutz des natürlichen Lebensraums von Pandas. © China Daily/Reuters

Bao Bao lebt derzeit in einem Zoo in Washington. Der Panda ist eine Leihgabe – kommendes Jahr soll das Tier zurück nach China.

Auch Malaysia hat Pandas im Zoo gegönnt. Nuan Nuan, hier im Alter von einem Jahr, lebt in Kuala Lumpur. China hat ihn für zehn Jahre an das Land abgegeben.

Berlin hat ebenfalls schon mal einen chinesischen Panda als Leihgabe bekommen. Nachdem Yan Yan starb, wurde sie ausgestopft und im Naturkundemuseum gezeigt. Inzwischen ist das Präparat wieder in China.

In China werden Pandas besonders stark vermarktet. Ein umstrittenes Geschäft. Doch ohne so viel Aufsehen hätte es wohl auch weniger Schutzmaßnahmen für die wilden Pandas gegeben. Pandas zu züchten ist extrem schwierig: Die Tiere paaren sich nur selten freiwillig. Forscher setzen daher auf künstliche Befruchtung. Dank der Methode kamen diese drei Pandas 2014 in einem Safari-Park in Guangzhou zur Welt. Sie sind das vierte Drillingspaar, das mithilfe künstlicher Befruchtung in einer Panda-Station geboren wurde.

[Sonya McLeod]

Order: Carnivora

Family: Ursidae

In Chinese, the giant panda is called the “large bear cat” or “cat bear” Most bears’ eyes have round pupils. The exception is the giant panda, whose pupils are vertical slits, like cats’ eyes. It is these unusual eyes that inspired the Chinese to call the panda the “giant bear cat”.

Mythology & Symbolism

In China the giant panda is a national treasure and has become a worldwide symbol of conservation.

3000 years ago, a written history of the Xizhou Dynasty (1027 - 771 BC) was prepared. It was called the Shangshu (Chengdu Assoc., 1993a). The Shangshu described the Giant Panda, or “Pixiu,” as an invincible animal, as strong as a tiger. This description was repeated in the Shijin, the first written collection of poems prepared at about the

same time. This sentiment regarding the prowess of the panda may explain, in part, why panda pelts were offered as tribute to emperors and kings of the day.

During the Xizhou Dynasty, people in Pingwu had a special name for the panda: “Zouya”. The Zouya was thought to be a gentle animal, as it was never observed to hurt man or beast. Thus, the panda became a symbol of peace. In that day, when warring armies took to the battlefield, if one army raised a flag with an image of the Zouya, the battle would immediately be called to a halt and a temporary peace would ensue. To this day, the panda continues to be a symbol of peace, and China has gifted pandas to many nations (U.S.), as a gesture of peaceful relations.

One Tibetan legend of the giant panda is about how they got their beautiful, and unusual black markings.

A long time ago, when pandas lived in the mountains of Tibet, they were white as snow.

They were friends with four female shepherds that watched their flocks, in the mountains near their village.

One day as the shepherdesses where playing with a panda cub, a leopard leapt out of the bush and tried to attack the cub.

The young shepherdesses threw themselves in front of the cub to save it and were killed by the leopard.

All the pandas in the area were saddened by their deaths and held a memorial service to honour them and their bravery.

To remember their sacrifice for the cub, the pandas all wore black ashes on their arms (as was the local custom).

As they wept for the shepherdesses, they wiped their eyes with their paws, they covered their ears to block out the sound of the crying and they hugged each other in grief.

As they did these things the ash spread and blackened their fur. The pandas did not wash the black off their fur as a way to remember the girls.

To this day, pandas are covered with the black markings to always remember.

 

The Giant Panda is also an animal of philosophical importance in Chinese culture. The Chinese ascribe much importance to the Yin and the Yang, two opposing forces of the universe that are present in all aspects of nature. A common representation of the Yin and the Yang is a circle, half black and half white, depicting the dichotomy of the two colors but the interconnected nature of the two forces.

The Giant Panda is thought to be a physical manifestation of the Yin and the Yang, as its body is both black and white, the two colors standing in stark contrast to one another on the animals pelt. The placid nature of the panda is a demonstration of how the Yin and the Yang, when perfectly balanced, contribute to harmony and peace.

The giant panda is a member of the bear family. Its closest relative is the Spectacled Bear (Tremarctos ornatus) of South America.

The panda first appeared 2 to 3 million years ago. Originally, panda territory included South and East China and parts of Myanmar and Northern Vietnam. Fossil evidence shows that pandas lived almost as far north as Beijing.

Today, pandas are found in six isolated forest areas in Sichuan, Gansu, and Shaanxi provinces in China.

Pandas live in high mountainous areas, usually from 2,700 to 3,700 meters (8,500 to 11,500 feet) above sea level, that have natural forested areas with fir, spruce, and bamboo. Today, only 29 small, fragmented areas have the appropriate habitat to support the world's existing panda populations.

Physical Characteristics

Pandas are about the size of the American black bear. They live between 18 to 25 years in the wild. They have large molars and large jaw muscles extending from their jaw to the top of their head that crush the fibrous plant material and tough stalks of their main food, bamboo.

Pandas are most active at twilight and night. Their pupils have vertical slits, like snakes and many nocturnal animals, which allow them to see better at night.

Flexible forepaws and an enlarged wrist bone that works as an opposable thumb are useful for handling bamboo. The panda's coat has two layers: a coarse outer layer and

a dense, woolly under layer. Their fur is slightly oily which prevents water penetration in the cool, damp climate where the pandas live.

Diet, Digestion & Elimination

Pandas are in the carnivore family and, for the most part, have the digestive system of a carnivore. Long ago, for reasons scientists do not understand (perhaps because they could not compete well for food with other carnivores), pandas adapted to a vegetarian diet. Pandas now feed almost exclusively on the stems and leaves of bamboo. Although, 95 - 90% of the pandas' diet is bamboo, they also eat flowers, vines, mushroom, grass, fish, and small rodents.

The panda's digestive system is partially adapted for processing bamboo: they have a tough throat and oesophageal lining, thick stomach lining, and enlarged colon surface. However, their short intestines are  unable digest cellulose and, therefore, do not remove all of the nutrients from the bamboo.

Pandas only digest about 20% of what they eat while cattle digest 60%. Therefore, pandas must eat a lot to get the nourishment they need. Pandas consume 15 to 30 kilograms (33 to 66 pounds) of food daily. They eat 10 to 16 hours daily and cover over one kilometer daily while eating. When they are not eating, pandas often conserve energy by sleeping.

Pandas excrete up to 40 kilograms (88 pounds) per day. Because their faeces eliminate more water than their food brings in, they usually drink at least once daily.

Hibernation

On a diet of bamboo, it is impossible for panda bears to accumulate enough fat to sleep through the winter. Instead of hibernating in higher, cooler climates the bears go down to lower elevations with warmer weather and more  food available.

Pandas have few predators. Jackals and leopards will sometimes prey on pandas. The yellow-throated marten will prey on panda cubs.

Social Structure & Breeding

Giant pandas are generally solitary, each adult having a well-defined home range, within which they move about regularly.

Although they are not territorial, females do not tolerate other females and subadults within the core areas of their range.

Encounters are rare outside the brief mating season, but pandas communicate fairly often, mostly through vocalization and scent marking.

The mating season is the only time pandas come together. A single cub is born five months after mating in a nest constructed of bamboo. A panda rarely gives birth to twins;

if she does, the 2nd cub is unlikely to survive. The tiny newborn panda cub is blind; it is six inches long and weighs only three ounces. Its stays with its mother for 18 months, until it is independent enough to establish its own territory. Pandas are the second most threatened species in the world. Only about 1000 pandas estimated to live in the wild.

Destruction of the panda's natural habitat is now the major threat to the survival of the species. In the eleven years from 1973 to 1984, suitable panda habitat shrunk by 50% in the six isolated areas where pandas live.

Human activity: logging, animal grazing, and agriculture are the major sources of habitat destruction.

 

[Jenny Lindstrom]

Fighting for Justice:

Tipping the Scales to Balance the Yin and Yang Energy

[Jenny Lindstrom]

I was first inspired to find a Panda Bear remedy about 6 years ago. I was in first year homeopathy studies and was learning about how people unconsciously express their disease vibration. There are many ways that people express the parts of themselves that need to be healed, but it is my experience that the soul will seek out a healer even if

the person is not aware. In this instance, I was visiting a family member and began to notice that she had hundreds of pandas around her house. Panda figurines, panda pictures, and all sorts of panda paraphernalia lined her walls and wardrobe. They were all of the giant panda variety endangered in Asia. Of course, being a keen student,

I also noticed that this panda vibration extended out past her home. Every present that she gave had a panda on it.

Her generosity and beauty really shone through and now my home too has begun to take on the shape of a panda reserve. My children even have a lovely sleepover panda blanket, which they frequently hibernate in! One of the gifts that I have honed is the ability to discern the finer details surrounding people and their aura. As a healer I perceive the subtle energies and it feels almost as if they get lodged inside my brain for future use.

I call it my filing cabinet. After I recognized that she had to have pandas around her I began to store other data about her and realized that there were other things that definitely fit the whole picture. I read about Panda Bears, what they eat, how they eat, their weaknesses around digestive symptoms, their solitary nature, and their role in the world, and how they thrive. I began to know on a core level that Panda, if ever proven, would have a lot to say, and ultimately hoped that it would have some positive interaction with my friend’s vibration. So I told her I thought it would be a good remedy

for her, but when I searched the databases to see if it had been proven, I found Nada!

Ultimately I wanted panda milk, but of course would settle for any part of the Panda, as long as it did not cause it harm. I sent out a prayer to the Universe and then let the topic rest, hoping that one day I would get a chance to acquire some milk or hair from this beloved mammal.

Low and behold in March 2011 this same friend went on a major excursion to China. Part of her journey took her to a Panda Reserve, where she worked alongside the giant pandas of Asia. Before she left I gave her two little brown envelopes and two Ziploc bags, and begged her to bring me back some panda fur.

She graciously accepted the challenge.

Then about 1 month later she arrived on my doorstep with Giant Panda fur from Asia.

I became very excited! Actually that day before it arrived on my doorstep the panda came to me in a meditation, and I wrote a small poem out of it. At this point I knew

that my dream to get her the panda remedy was going to happen.  That is when I let Sonya know that the panda fur had arrived, in Canada.

It turns out that this mammal does have a lot to say. Possibly that has to do with it being an endangered species.

I began to prove the physicals immediately when it arrived. It actually became so intense that I had to send it over to Sonya so that my body could have a break before we

did the actual trituration.

What my friend told me about her interaction with the female Panda and her cub:

The adult mother was rubbing against the bars of the cage like she was itchy, she was dancing, swaying her body in front of my friend and her travel companion. She fed two different bears, they call them by name, they are well trained, very gentle and sit down, she hand fed them carrot and vitamin bread (special made). The cages are small, like

a jail but they have a door that they can go out into the field.

They roam around with all the other bears. One of the cages has a hammock and the bears lay in them.

The hair came from where the adult female bear rubbed up against the cage.

Some of the hair got stuck there.

(Maybe conscious on part of the bear, knowing its voice would soon be heard). Some hair also came from the cub of the above female. It was acquired when my friend’s travel companion pet the cub and the hair stuck to the glove. Proving Location Vancouver, BC, Canada

Proved by the Coast Salish Trituration Provers https://coastsalish.wordpress.com/

May 2011

Trituration Proving Method

The C4 trituration proving protocol used is outlined in “The Trituration Handbook: Into the Heart of Homeopathy” by Anneke Hogeland and Judy Schriebman.

Source

Ya’an Bifengxia Panda Breeding Center, Ya’an city, Sichuan Province, China

 

 

Quelle: Little Mountain Homeopathy C4/220 level

www.littlemountainhomeopathy.com

Remedy Information

Desires: Fresh air, outdoors/nature, mountains/food/alcohol/sunlight/water

Aversion: Meat;

<: Overheating/enclosed spaces/menses/injustice & inequality;

>: Drinking water/crying/walking;

Miasm: Cancer

Major Themes = Mammal Themes

Some very strong animal and mammal themes were apparent in this proving such as the issue of survival (the panda in danger of becoming extinct due to lack of habitat). Unlike many mammals, pandas

are solitary creatures and this remedy had a solitary aspect to it with a desire to be left in peace. Provers felt some aggression at times: “Back off, this is my territory!” The anger toward humans in particular was apparent, since it is habitat destruction that is threatening pandas. Panda feels strongly that s/he has been abused and mistreated by humans, and s/he is angry about it. Panda has been put in chains, ridiculed, laughed at and hunted by humans, and s/he has had enough: “Enough, this is enough!”

They feel victimized, and they are angry about it.

Other mammal themes that came out during the proving were sexual thoughts, < menses and dreams/thoughts of babies.

There were also dreams of being covered in shit, having to clean up shit and feeling dirty and unclean.

Heart Pain,

Grief & Creativity

This remedy has an affinity for the heart chakra.

Panda holds a lot of grief about how s/he has been mistreated. Panda warns humans to change their ways before it is too late. Tears welled up inside but it was difficult to cry. If provers could cry it provided some amelioration. Often the feeling of grief and sadness was accompanied by a sensation of a lump in the throat.

One prover experienced heart pain (angina) in the sternum. This remedy can help open the closed heart of the typical “white male energy.”

This remedy can also help women and minorities to see the value in what they create, and to be more confident in their work instead of relying upon somebody who holds the dominant viewpoint

for direction and encouragement.

Digestion & Appetite

Digestive complaints are a major keynote of this remedy. There was acid reflux with the sensation of a lump +/o. trapped air in the esophagus, sometimes accompanied by nausea. There was also frequent

burping. In the abdomen there was bloating and sharp abdominal pain sometimes + flatulence. The pain during menses was also sharp, accompanied by bloating.

Digestive symptoms seemed tied to the feeling of victimization and persecution.

There was also increased hunger, but an aversion to meat.

There was a desire for alcohol. Also, an increased tolerance for alcohol and pharmaceutical drugs.

Bowel movements became more frequent, up to 5x daily.

Playful & Lazy

Provers experienced a desire to slow down, relax, lie around and do nothing. Some provers were late for work or appointments but didn’t really care. Provers would often giggle at the thought of how serious this trituration seemed. There was also an aversion to rushing and perfectionism: “Why are you all caught up in doing things so perfectly? Life is not to be rushed.” There was also frequent yawning.

Provers couldn’t entertain the thought of triturating beyond C4, it seemed like too much work.

Clumsiness & Forgetfulness

This was also a big theme of the remedy. Provers knocked into thing, cut themselves, and burnt themselves accidentally. Panda is awkward and accident prone. Along with this was fuzzy headedness

and increased absentmindedness.

Face & Head:

This remedy has an affinity especially for the left side of the face and head.

Provers experienced sharp shooting pain in the ears, cheeks, teeth, jaw, eyes and head.

The pain resembled nerve pain. The left half of one prover’s face became numb.

One prover also experienced a sensation of swelling in the eyes and the lower half of the face.

One prover’s eyesight became more sensitive and she had an aversion to bright colours.

Sensitivity to light/colour seems to be a common symptom of nocturnal mammals.

Ears, Nose and Throat:

Mucus in the ears, nose and throat. All provers experienced decreased hearing, like their ears were filled with cotton. Congestion was more pronounced in the left nostril and there was also bleeding and mucus plugs in the left nostril.

Mucus collected in the back of the throat.

There was also an increased sensitivity to smells.

Mouth:

Mouth ulcers developed on the left side of the mouth. There was sharp shooting pain in the jaw, < chewing.

Silence, Hearing & Difficult Communication

Provers felt like their ears were blocked with cotton and found it difficult to hear what people were saying. Pandas wanted to give humans a message, but they had a feeling that they would not be heard.

One prover’s voice became hoarse from trying to get her message across (panda has an affinity for the throat chakra) and still nobody would listen. There was also the feeling during the trituration that

“Silence is OK, silence is not uncomfortable.”

Solitary Creatures: The Need for Space and Freedom

Pandas are solitary creatures. During the proving there was a desire to have one’s own space, to be alone.

There was also a feeling of wanting to be free, tied to a feeling of persecution; pandas don’t like captivity.

Remedy Typology

This remedy has tremendous healing potential (people living in or originating from the Panda’s native country, China).

A person who needs this remedy has a hard time dealing with the injustices in the world. Most likely, this person would be a minority or hold a minority viewpoint, such as a woman, racial minority, homosexual or political activist. They recognize and acknowledge inequality and oppression and they are angry about it and want to fight against it. They recognize that we live in a yang world, full

of violence and oppression, and their job is to integrate the yin (oppressed minorities) back into the world so that it can have full expression. People needing this remedy have a fighting spirit, but when

they start to feel powerless; this results in digestive symptoms (bloating, acid reflux, etc.)

Panda gives this person the courage to be who she really is without the need for approval of the dominant viewpoint, and the sensitivity to the dominant group’s judgement.

Panda is the catalyst to help people be the change they want to see in the world. Once this person is able to access their power and regain their true voice, only then can the world once again be brought into perfect yin/yang balance.

Sharp belly pain causing inward breath

Bloating

Pressure like a finger pointing into sternum

Theme as if communicating on different planes/vibrations

Speak and no one hears

Voice hoarse from trying to get message across

Children do not listen as if they are unable to hear. Have to raise my voice, almost intentionally make it firm, directive, forceful, as if the children are in trouble but they are not.

The theme of languages came up - my daughter has anxiety about not knowing what language she speaks

Client came in and had reflux-like experience during treatment, she also had some throat issues (energy stuck at throat) – life purpose

About a week ago asked tenant to move out, I need more space

Husband ground up a cloth in his mixer messing up pasted blade said “My life is a complete failure.” So melodramatic and out of proportion. Sensitive to my question “What did you do?” I walked away. Tired of his company.

I had an amazing thing happen, and the timing is divine

Yesterday my nephew called, and he wanted to know what info I had on certain herbal remedies.

Malaria was one disease he wanted the cure for.

So I told him cinchona bark, the quinine from it, brought about many cures.

Now they chemically synthesize it.

I also told him many drugs are synthesized from what is found in nature.

Next he asked me what aspirin came from.

I did not know.

This is actually strange because I have a large store of herbal and pharmaceutical knowledge with both training as an RN and homeopath.

The piece that came next is the synchronistic miracle.

Aspirin of course is synthetically derived, but originally came from the bark of the white willow tree.

This morning I woke up with most incredible pain rising up through my abdomen, higher and higher, in to my chest wall.

I was not alarmed by the pain nor worried.

I know I am healthy and strong

I simply asked, what is going on?

Here is the answer I received:

You are in another phase of your awakening.

Your heart needs the fire from your abdomen to burst up through the gate in order to open you to your full potential.

It is uncomfortable, but you must ride it out.

It will not kill you.

You will learn a lot through this physical change.

Place your hands on your softened heart and envision the crystal of your soul lining up with the kundalini of mother.

This is how you will rise out of unconsciousness.

This week your brain has started to quiet, forgetting what is unimportant

You have found yourself floating in an existence where you are One and then you are not.

This change will speed up now and more often you will be One

Let your brain be quiet

Do not fight nor struggle, for this process that has awakened within you is innate and has been waiting for a millenia.

In the light of shekinah

Breath of fire

Breath of air

Breath of water

Breath of land

Breath will bring change

So breathe deep down into your soul, your roots, and the beginning of your kundalini

This will fire your flow into one

This breath is your connection

This breath will fuel the fire that is no longer dormant but rises to the celebration of who you already are.

Feel that fire build

Feel that fire penetrate the very walls that hide you

Feel that fire burst through to see the vulnerable you, also rising lighted by your flame in crystal glory

Your purpose, your vision transforming as if an alchemist too had his way

Water becomes wine

Lead becomes gold

Your touch is now red hot like Midas

Your eyes cleansed by your own initiation

See a picture where all hearts burst open, with flame

And shine without

fear the beauty within

Before the Trituration:

Prover #3’s

Journal

Dreams - two nights in a row, destruction or deconstruction, taking apart. Not like mass ruin or apocalypse but coming down, apart, known, not surprises.

Dreams of flight, able to maintain, suspend self in air upon jumping up...twirling like a synchronized swimmer, but up in the air. Wanting to impress.

Memory seems better “Remembering things I have no conscious memory of like a particular verb in French (which stopped in grade 7 but am wanting to speak, learn now)

Feel like an observer (more so), wish to observe, feel relaxed in not having to make myself or opinion known/forced

Deeper appreciation, sensitivity to, joy in plants, natural world. Fascination, love for.

Able to drink 1 glass of prosecco and not impaired.

More voluminous stools - slow, laborious

Loud ear ringing (right louder than usual)

Medications - gravol, ibuprofen, seem to be having little to no effect. Usually half a gravol knocks me out, this time a full one barely registered.

Feel bloated, full despite eating same/normal amount.

Post chiro energy is much better. Had cling-on at back of the ribs/solar plexus

Feels crampy, stretched pain in ovary (right), want to curl up in a ball (no period). Comes and goes.

Gassy feeling.

Skin seems to take longer than normal to heal.

Nails healthy, not biting. Opted for red.

Very moved by Freedom Riders, 1960’s racial movements.

No friskiness post period (unusual). Lower ab pain not helping. Repulsive.

Feel like the days are zipping past fast.

Low appetite.

Highly attracted to yellow and lemon flavours, scent

Dreamt I was talking to mom and was so mad, upset, trying to yell but voice wouldn’t come out loud or powerful - it was hoarse, quiet, raspy. Dad was downplaying it all.

Generally feel short tempered with my dad, flustered and annoyed by him, he seems weak to me. Been snippy, snarky with husband, unprovoked.

Lower back has been aching for days now (no period)

Dull head.

Before the Trituration: Sonya’s Journal

May 7, 2011

Dream last night (at parents’ house) . Dream of being in the shower and taking a shit in the shower and it was getting all over the tub, the shit getting all over my body and I was trying

to wash it off, remember it being smeared on my hands. Waking up feeling pretty horrified and relieved that it was a dream.

May 8, 2011

Period came late (day 36). Last month it was late as well (32 days) but I think this is a possible proving symptom. Also unlike past recent cycles the cramps were quite painful. I was in

pain for most of the day, though the cramping was completely gone by the next day.

May 9, 2011

Forgot there were no club days this week. I was thinking that in general I have been more absentminded, forgetting details, etc. Maybe a proving symptom.

May 10, 2011

Now the cramping is back in my lower abdomen/pelvic area, below the naval and just above the public bone. Sharp pain.

May 16

Last night got a sore throat. Let out a big burp this morning and was getting a bit of acid reflux.

May 18

A couple nights ago feeling a bit sick with the sore throat so I had decided to fast and I was getting a lot of gas building up in my stomach, very unusual for me to get that much build-up

of gas. So much gas buildup that I was getting sharp pains in my abdominal region (very similar to the period cramps I had). I was also getting some sharp stabbing pains in my feet.

Yesterday I had an email from a colleague. She goes behind my back and tells another colleague that I’m not qualified to do the triturations. A lot goes through my mind thinking how

dare she go behind my back, who does she think she is, how does she know I’m not qualified because she never even talked to me to find out, etc.

I had a talk about Jenny about my frustrations and what came out during my discussion was my absolute refusal to take a man’s permission to act. I thought about all the followers in our

profession, all the homeopaths who felt they had to take permission from and follow. It’s like most female homeopaths are afraid to strike out on their own without getting the approval

of a man. The men lead the way and the women follow. I don’t need anybody’s permission and it’s time to change that dynamic. Sadly, women such as the colleague who sent me the

email internalize that dynamic so much that they enforce it on other women such as myself.

Jenny feels that Panda represents the yin and yang, and therefore, Panda is about bringing the yin and yang or male and female back into balance. We need to balance out the power dynamic

of homeopathy.

I feel like it all makes sense now and why this was absolutely 100% the right first trituration for the Coast Salish Trituration Group.

May 19

Yesterday got a msg from Health Canada which triggered all sorts of feelings. It was the skeptics again, a group of men trying to put women in their place. Their paradigm has more

value than ours. Their voice gets heard on CBC Marketplace while we are marginalized and censored.

Dream last night of a male relative’s voice being heard while my opinion, I am not as valued. I tell this to my parents angrily. A woman's voice isn't valued as much as a man's. We have

to prove ourselves, to prove we are as good as a man. Men won't publish my writing, but women will, in smaller less influential publications. Women's publications going largely unnoticed,

they are not valued as highly as men's publications.

Men will bully when they see I am strong and have a voice.

They try to put me in my place. They say I have no right to create, that my voice shouldn't be given equal weight to theirs. They want to silence me.

Many women in my life fear men. They fear their loud voices, when they get angry, what if they are harmed by him? They will do anything for him and say anything to please him.

Women pleasing men and putting men first. Men matter more. Their needs should be catered for and her needs should be ignored. His job matters more and her job is just a hobby, something

he lets her do. She constantly has to prove herself in her work, to show she is just as good as a man. She wants her co-workers to value her.

Women walking down the street fearing rape, violence or theft. She can't inhabit space as freely as a man can. The fear keeps her in her place.

Women needing men's permission to create. Looking up to men, thinking that men have more knowledge, they know more, they know how to do things the right way. Letting men take the

lead and not taking initiative. Women suppressing their own creativity and women policing other women who speak out strongly with their own voice, policing women who create on their

own terms. Women who define themselves by what the men in their life have accomplished and created. Women who look down on other women who would dare to challenge the

patriarchal way of creating.

Women, we need to open our hearts and realize that we can be creative.

We can be ourselves. We are not less or greater than anybody, we are all equal. We are whole and we are enough. Having a man in our lives doesn't mean we are filling an empty space.

A man is an equal partner.

We are free to walk or do whatever wherever we want. It's only the fear that holds us back. Have courage, women, because this is our time.

Men, you need to open your hearts to nurturing. You are fully open to creativity and can realize your creative potential, this is not your difficulty like it is for women. The difficulty for you

is to have compassion, to have a heart. You need to open your hearts and your minds to a woman's ideas and to a woman's worth. You need to see her as an equal partner. Have courage men.

You have the power to help women realize their full potential. Your heart has been there all along, now it's time to acknowledge it, in order to truly become whole. Rape, violence, war,

Murder - please have the courage to open your heart to find your way to peace.Men, you have the power to guide our world to peace and harmony. Love and you will have nothing to fear.

May 24

Feeling confrontational.

Wrote a letter to 2 men about asserting integrity and demanding respect. This has a familiar mammal feel (I remember feeling this way a lot when proving raccoon). I have the desire to not

do another mammal proving for a good while after this. The positive side is that I’ve been able to assert myself more, but I feel like I’m always defending my territory, telling people to back

off, etc. The energy is confrontational and I feel like I’m always doing battle.

May 27, 2011

(C1 to C3 Level)

C1 Level: Jenny

Fuzzy tingling.

Heart

What I notice most is the soft whirring of the bowls, they sound almost like bugs ringing in my ears. They remind me of the Tibetan bowls and the essence of heart centeredness that they bring.

Rhythmic, mesmerizing.

I hold a space of love. Do all remedies have the capacity to open the heart and release the song connecting to the soul?

My ear is shifting, blocked/unblocked.

The silence is OK.

It is quiet Meditative

Normally silence is uncomfortable but not here, not now. We can get lost in our thoughts.

Hot flushes.

When I started I could not help but be focussed on the concentric circles.

Then there was a leap in my heart and then a tightening of my throat. I put my hand up to my throat and felt awash with sorrow. Pain in both sides of my chest, pain stretched into my back on

right side I felt like I had tears to release but they would not come. Like crying silently with my paw stretched up almost pleading for communion. The silent cry that never releases. For a country?

For an individual. My throat hurts.

Sad, shaky hot flash, then another hot flash. Like the feeling as if I had just released sorrow or had a good cry but I didn’t cry. My head itched too and I feel a bit restless.

I feel like I am in my own space. What I feel only I feel. Isolated, fearful, a bit about this aloneness.

Doesn’t anyone feel that sad separation?

My chin feels tingly like my head is not as connected, or there is space between me.

Chest is still tight and stomach is hungry (though I have not eaten).

Sun / Ri

On the drive in the discussion about communication came up and how language forms. Is it the tone is it the vibration? How do we know how to make language?

Lips tingly

Face itchy

Lips itchy

Tingly cheeks

Tingly ear lobes

Itchy scalp

What does this mean:

Conversations playing in my mind in slow motion.

Clumsy - I spilled the panda concoction on my arm.

The tingling seems to rise up through my head, it is on the outer layer of my skin, still a part of my physical body.

Actually very much in my physical body.

My canker sore is killing me with a dull swollen pain. Feels as if everything might be a bit swollen, lips and face.

Thirsty work.

See yellow lines.

I sit here and feel a bit of a funny humour. Looking around almost mocking, look how silly we are importantly doing our tasks, involved, intent, Sonya trying to fix the phone from ringing.

The rest of us studious. It is funny how serious we are. To be an observer of the human race is funny. The human race goes about things with such intent.

Funny this weird human, we talked about it on the way in. Looking after our humans. Now I see it coming through again.

C1 Level: Prover #3

Hot flush up through front of neck into face, sharp.

Warm generally

I like the ringing of the bowl and mortar

Feel solid, right in my body (not floaty)

Earth rising up to meet me -remembering this from walking, but now- as I observe, the thing coming closer, to meet me. Zooming in sort of.

Jenny’s hand on heart - I want to cry. It lingers there.

Gratitude

Please take care of me.

Ears continue to ring

I will power through

Want to see the green

Hand feels strong like I could crush this pen

Short, low, feel low to the ground

Don’t like the scraping, jarring sound

Want the scraping to be slower

Kidneys, right side, aware of it.

Mountains, I want to go home

Leave me alone

Front face lips nose tingle sensitive.

Sunrise

A bit mad. Invasion.

Bottom weighty. Solid. Salivate.

Time no matter. Is it really 7 minutes? Not weary of pestling.

Hot hands, palms nearly sweaty.

Denseness of energy. Generally...heavier, slower.

Hungry now.

No hot colours. Want cool rainforesty colour. Blue, green.

Poking - crown of head

Lazy but not tired. Relaxed?

Conscious of my clothes. Constrained by them though not “tight”. Want them off.

Itchy head.

More crown poking

Breathing - is it slower than normal? Yes.

Explosive. Could burst. But don’t mind.

Messy, loud, I don’t care.

Super vision - I see hairs - spot them!

Crush - want to crush them

Just raw, jagged

Itchy ears

Rough. Unrefined. Whatever. Primal. Ravenous. Childlike. Hunting the hairs.

Darting eyes.

Really want to crush stuff. Powerful.

Itchy

Doors are stupid. Want to go outside. Want fresh air.

Top of head above right eye. Shooting awareness.

Nose drying out.

Don’t like the built environment.

Food! Hungry

Smells. Smell everything.

Could I eat those flowers on the pen?

Growling tummy

Hate plastic. Want to throw it out. Does not jive with me.

C1 Level: Prover #4

During my first grind for 7 minutes I felt a little cranky at the beginning like I was being forced to not use my own decision on what direction to grind with the pestle. I started to feel like hibernating

is what I wanted to do. Felt rather drowsy, like it was time to drop where I was and sleep. Later on I just felt peaceful. I was also feeling like every last particle of hair must be well ground so that the

voice of all Pandas could be heard (this from them). They are most urgent to tell us about themselves.

Visions of Asian temples.

Why are you all so caught up in getting so much done and doing it so perfectly? We have sex and babies and eat and sleep. What more do you want to be doing? You’re making all the wrong things important.

We have it right. You’re making yourselves sick. Life is not to be rushed. We know. We are right. You I’m hungry. I should be eating. Eating. Food. Need food. Very cranky when I need food and

it’s not there.

Babies are okay. (?)

C1 Level: Sonya

Running through the wilderness. Carefree, boundless, freedom.

Lightness. Heart chakra sensations.

Tightness, unfree, losing habitat. No place to go. Homeless. lonely. endangered. Sinking heart. Annoyed.

Will this rain ever stop. Back off!! This is my territory, go away, getting angry. Get off my land, you’ve taken enough. Survival. I want to survive. Defending my territory against humans, defending

my home.

This is my land, my home!! Rumbling in my abdomen. I want to be free to roam with no restrictions. Will I ever be free? Hopeless feeling. Why have children if they can’t be free. No point in having children if they have no place to roam. I want to crawl on all fours, I am a panda! Laughter bubbles to the surface, this is ridiculous! Feeling clumsy, knocking the milk sugar out of the bowl, feeling

clumsy when filling my glass with water. Phone rang, feeling annoyed that it rang and that I had to reset the phone, why the hell is it so complicated?!

C2 Level: Jenny

Once again my heart chakra feels heavy.

There is also a strong sense of honour for the role we are all playing here in the now.

Honour, humility, like I want to support someone.

Someone needs support.

Vulnerable, fragile, weak. Like I want to wrap big paws around them, hold them.

My heart is so heavy it hurts. It is a spiritual hurt.

The image of a small girl, vulnerable, the image of a Chinese glass doll shattered.

Becoming stronger. Vortex. Swirling of the heart. Creating new.

There is a long road. There are plants and blossoms along it lining it.

A bear in a cage, the entertainment, the folly. There are beautiful mountains all around. (Eyes in the tears) - dialogue. The error of the child so fitting. Doesn’t matter eyes in the tears/tears in the eyes.

Circular.

Like I am being led on a long journey. I’m tired of this journey. I can’t bear it. If I could just nap. I feel like I have chains and I’m forced to walk. Why do you do this? We are fine. You cannot fix everything. Some things aren’t meant to be fixed. I have a sore muscle from all this walking. I want to sit on my haunches (sore in my lower trapezius).

Gassy, burpy.

I see a man, drinking soup out of a bowl, I am mad, I bat it out of his hand

I feel my chest heat up with anger, prickly. I am intelligent, why don’t you see that?

I will not lie here while you torment me in captivity.

I want to make a point but no one speaks my language.

Shut off your mind and you will see, you will hear the voices from the past.

I have the urge to rock back and forth on my back.

What is that I smell? Dog food? I want to eat it.

I am not co-ordinated writing, twirling, very difficult, like my mind freezes in my muscles, what are we supposed to do next they ask?

You are right, I want to smash things too, things with whiskers. I hate whiskers.

There is jasmine growing close to me. I can see its beauty. You cannot put it into words. Stop trying.

Desolate, like hopeless but deeper, when one gives up.

Despair.

Indignant.

What am I, a pupil at this school? You make a mockery of me. I am great.

* Weaving, rolling, we have done this before

Peach spots in bowl

Birds have come to my mind I could write Chinese letters in here

Daydreaming

Bumped my elbow!

Now the energy of power. Magnificent. It is fleeting.

I remember a time when I like to bathe, dipping my hands in a stream, bringing it to my face. The freedom, oh how I long for the freedom and my chest hurts A LOT. It is as if I change from panda to

human, panda to human, dipping my paws then hands in the stream. The panda shows me what his freedom is like. Carefree, careless, eating, drinking, sleeping.

My chest is hot.

My head hurts a lot on my left at my front.

I really want to nap.

There is a feeling of being observed, but not when I am free. Captivity changes me. I am always watched.

I feel unnatural. I am self conscious.

Freedom = solitude. Where I can meander without having to be something.

When I am captive I am Panda. When I am free I am life itself. That is too big a difference to make right.

Maybe if you stop watching me...

When I am free there are no expectations. Please set me free. Roar!

I feel a sense of pride. I can do this (grind the powder). Such a simple task

It is foolish to be proud. No, it is pride about shaking things up.

Rough wool (that is what I hear in the grinding)

My eyes are droopy, dry and tired, left more than right.

I send honour to the panda.

I am yawning, tired, feel that it is difficult to stay awake. I am really hungry! And I normally am not.

I just keep getting this image of a panda bear who doesn’t want to think about things.

It just doesn’t matter. I long to cuddle up and sleep. The cat walked by. I could cuddle her, I wonder if the whiskers would bug me

laughter in my mind.

It would be OK to be lazy and do nothing and eat.

I am curious, ordinarily I am empathetic, but one of the women at the table are crying and I didn’t even notice. When I did notice my normal response would be to balance and harmonize,

but I feel less empathy than I normally do. Curious. And before I realized she was crying

I was totally engrossed in my own thoughts, my own state. No awareness of the other people at the table.

Pulling head down alleviates headache.

Left leg tingles and numb.

Detached.

You know that song Ironic Alanis Morisette

C2 Level: Prover #3

Push open. Break out. Free

Single minded

Onion. Root vegetables?

Home. Want to go home.

+

Quadrants. 2 halves of halves.

Very dry nose.

Let it be, let it be oh let it be (gospel song). Whispering words of wisdom let it be.

2 things at once is...ridiculous...amazing but ridiculous.

I’m every woman, it’s all in me - Whitney Houston

I weave the golden thread of humanity. I am unity.

All these shoes. Why so much? You don’t need all these things. You guys (humans) are dumb! What are you focussing on?

Technology is a distraction (electronics mostly)

Numb. Shut off from the rest of the world.

Mourning. Loss. Sad. Lethargic.

C1 Level: Sonya

Running through the wilderness. Carefree, boundless, freedom.

Lightness. Heart chakra sensations.

Tightness, unfree, losing habitat. No place to go. Homeless.lonely. endangered. Sinking heart. Annoyed.

Will this rain ever stop. Back off!! This is my territory, go away, getting angry. Get off my land, you’ve taken enough. Survival. I want to survive. Defending my territory against humans,

defending my home.

This is my land, my home!! Rumbling in my abdomen. I want to be free to roam with no restrictions. Will I ever be free? Hopeless feeling. Why have children if they can’t be free. No point

in having children if they have no place to roam. I want to crawl on all fours, I am a panda! Laughter bubbles to the surface, this is ridiculous! Feeling clumsy, knocking the milk sugar out

of the bowl, feeling clumsy when filling my glass with water. Phone rang, feeling annoyed that it rang and that I had to reset the phone, why the hell is it so complicated?!

C2 Level: Jenny

Once again my heart chakra feels heavy.

There is also a strong sense of honour for the role we are all playing here in the now.

Honour, humility, like I want to support someone.

Someone needs support.

Vulnerable, fragile, weak. Like I want to wrap big paws around them, hold them.

My heart is so heavy it hurts. It is a spiritual hurt.

The image of a small girl, vulnerable, the image of a Chinese glass doll shattered.

Becoming stronger. Vortex. Swirling of the heart. Creating new.

There is a long road. There are plants and blossoms along it lining it.

A bear in a cage, the entertainment, the folly. There are beautiful mountains all around. (Eyes in the tears)

- dialogue. The error of the child so fitting. Doesn’t matter eyes in the tears/tears in the eyes.

Circular.

Like I am being led on a long journey. I’m tired of this journey. I can’t bear it. If I could just nap. I feel like

I have chains and I’m forced to walk. Why do you do this? We are fine. You cannot fix everything. Some things aren’t meant to be fixed. I have a sore muscle from all this walking.

I want to sit on my haunches (sore in my lower trapezius).

Gassy, burpy.

I see a man, drinking soup out of a bowl, I am mad, I bat it out of his hand

I feel my chest heat up with anger, prickly. I am intelligent, why don’t you see that?

I will not lie here while you torment me in captivity.

I want to make a point but no one speaks my language.

Shut off your mind and you will see, you will hear the voices from the past.

I have the urge to rock back and forth on my back.

What is that I smell? Dog food? I want to eat it.

I am not co-ordinated writing, twirling, very difficult, like my mind freezes in my muscles, what are we supposed to do next they ask?

You are right, I want to smash things too, things with whiskers. I hate whiskers.

There is jasmine growing close to me. I can see its beauty. You cannot put it into words. Stop trying.

Desolate, like hopeless but deeper, when one gives up.

Despair.

Indignant.

What am I, a pupil at this school? You make a mockery of me. I am great.

* Weaving, rolling, we have done this before

Peach spots in bowl

Birds have come to my mind

I could write Chinese letters in here

Daydreaming

Bumped my elbow!

Now the energy of power. Magnificent. It is fleeting.

I remember a time when I like to bathe, dipping my hands in a stream, bringing it to my face. The freedom, oh how I long for the freedom and my chest hurts A LOT. It is as if

I change from panda to human, panda to human, dipping my paws then hands in the stream. The panda shows me what his freedom is like. Carefree, careless, eating, drinking, sleeping.

My chest is hot.

My head hurts a lot on my left at my front.

I really want to nap.

There is a feeling of being observed, but not when I am free. Captivity changes me. I am always watched.

I feel unnatural. I am self conscious.

Freedom = solitude. Where I can meander without having to be something.

When I am captive I am Panda. When I am free I am life itself. That is too big a difference to make right.

Maybe if you stop watching me...

When I am free there are no expectations. Please set me free. Roar!

I feel a sense of pride. I can do this (grind the powder). Such a simple task

It is foolish to be proud. No, it is pride about shaking things up.

Rough wool (that is what I hear in the grinding)

My eyes are droopy, dry and tired, left more than right.

I send honour to the panda.

I am yawning, tired, feel that it is difficult to stay awake. I am really hungry! And I normally am not.

I just keep getting this image of a panda bear who doesn’t want to think about things.

It just doesn’t matter. I long to cuddle up and sleep. The cat walked by. I could cuddle her, I wonder if the whiskers would bug me

laughter in my mind.

It would be OK to be lazy and do nothing and eat.

I am curious, ordinarily I am empathetic, but one of the women at the table are crying and I didn’t even notice. When I did notice my normal

response would be to balance and harmonize, but I feel less empathy than I normally do. Curious. And before I realized she was crying

I was totally engrossed in my own thoughts, my own state. No awareness of the other people at the table.

Pulling head down alleviates headache.

Left leg tingles and numb.

Detached.

You know that song Ironic Alanis Morisette

C2 Level: Prover #3

Push open. Break out. Free

Single minded

Onion. Root vegetables?

Home. Want to go home.

+

Quadrants. 2 halves of halves.

Very dry nose.

Let it be, let it be oh let it be (gospel song). Whispering words of wisdom let it be.

2 things at once is...ridiculous...amazing but ridiculous.

I’m every woman, it’s all in me - Whitney Houston

I weave the golden thread of humanity. I am unity.

All these shoes. Why so much? You don’t need all these things. You guys (humans) are dumb! What are you focussing on?

Technology is a distraction (electronics mostly)

Numb. Shut off from the rest of the world.

Mourning. Loss. Sad. Lethargic.

This is dumb. There is no use. Hopeless? Just forget it all.

Loathing same - same routine day after day. I want to explore.

Lonely, but in an unvalidated way. I don’t want “company.” I want to be seen and heard.

HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME?!

We’re going in circles.

You humans better do a good job. PISSED OFF.

Swelling.

Left a hole in the middle of the pile of substance.

Itching at heart. Trapped. Panicky. Fidgety. Scratchy. Squirmy. Itchy.

Saw some birds, but did oppose flight and sitting up.

Guilty for what I have in life, home - not good enough or if I have then others don’t have

Despair...why can’t we all HAVE. Equitable. Both unity.

Bringing up my own relationship to abundance.

-

I eat all day. I don’t feel guilty about my nature.

Abundance isn’t guilty. Excess/greed/ego is. Wants not necessary.

Itchy, squirmy, zoning out. Checking out. Shut down.

Piece of finger nail came off earlier, strange break.

I feel you right there but won’t let me in.

Please, please you have to stop what you’re doing (earth) destruction, division.

More about messages from panda than of being Panda.

PANDA. What does panda mean?

Panda, you’re safe with me. You can come in.

“No, they hurt me”

That’s because they were hurting. I am not hurting. Feel me, then know it is safe.

Want to lay, roll in grass (but my human says no, it’s cold and wet). Funny.

Now we can truly connect. Opened to each other. Safe harbour for heart energy.

Sort of feels like when you get a French fry caught in tube/throat/oesophagus.

Want to burp, but nothing’s there

There is hope. See the beautiful combo–black, raw tourmaline crystals with clear white, glittering faceted quartz. See-one bracelet! Balance. Not about deleting dark,

or only light - but equity in both creates unity. When in balance it becomes one.

One

.

C2 Level: Prover #4

I felt a very large lump deep in my throat and then an enormous amount of tears needed to flow but were unable to pass the lump. A great well of emotion that encompasses

great swaths of time and space. Tears come to my eyes as I write this. The sadness is of course for us (Pandas) but it is not just about us. It is about all life. The sanctity of

all life. Why don’t humans allow themselves to feel this? My eyes are heavy with tears unflowing. The lump in my throat is so deep, thoughts of the thyroid gland came

to my mind. I had a sharp stabbing pain in my right temple. Ouch! It came fast and went fast. Like lightening.

I feel extraordinarily sober and profoundly sad.

Ear- I saw a human ear in the bottom of my bowl. Has this to do with hearing?

Let me be-leave me alone to live my life the way I want to live it. Stop interfering in my animal life.

I begin to stir in the bowl very, very quickly from now on.

Independence-I need my independence to be healthy. You take that away and you take my life.

Powder flying-Anger-Yes I’m angry.

I’m very angry inside about my situation.

Rage

The anger is building to rage inside me. No other being has a right to take the freedom or livelihood of any other animal. (tears)

Frustration

What can we do? We are helpless. We will exit if we have to.

Careless - Slopping the powder everywhere. This is not important. Sloppiness makes no difference at all.

End of our rope - We think there is no way to help ourselves. (tears)

I felt this was a very depressing round.

Vortex - Spiral - Can’t explain these two, but they are unmistakable there.

Dopey - Head feels full of cotton. Can’t think too hard.

Lightness - Feeling of being very light and frivolous.

Play - Want to play and have fun. No serious stuff. Just play.

C2 Level: Sonya

Men policing women. Women policing women. Leave me alone. Leave me in peace. I want to be free to do what I want. Can Health Canada confiscate this remedy? Can they

break into my home and take the powder? The skeptics. Lately more than ever I see how ridiculous they are and I feel sorry for them.

They spend so much time attacking and denying the truth. I feel like the aggressor and they are on the defence, I am the hunter and they are the hunted. It feels like a sport,

playfully teasing them. There’s a lightness to it now. I sense their fear.

Sensation inside my oesophagus, a tightening. Tingling in my nose and sensation in my abdomen.

Calmness, feeling stoic. We’re doing it, we’re making a remedy and we’re doing it together, collectively, without leaning on a man for support. In this moment we are free.

The power of the intellect, the brow chakra. How far has that gotten us as citizens of the world. We’ve managed to destroy much of nature. The Panda bear is almost extinct and every

day there are more extinctions. Rivers are polluted, radiation gets dumped into the oceans. Nuclear power plants. Men are powerful to create anything and everything they want,

however destructive it is. Boys with toys. Ooops, nuclear meltdown, oil spills in the oceans. We don’t have the power to control what we’ve created.

Battlestar Gallactica, Blade Runner, Resident Evil. We created something that became too powerful and now it’s destroying the earth.

It’s women’s time now. We gave you a chance and you fucked it up. It’s time to bring things back into balance. I’m tired of men telling me what I can and can’t do, of men protecting

me from other men. I’m tired of being told that I have to be scared when I walk down the street at night, even though I’m not.

Sadness. You really, really fucked it up.

We need balance. We need to be caring, but we need to have a backbone. We need to have the power to create, but we also need heart.

Heartless. How can men be so heartless? How can men rape, kill, have wars, destroy the earth and not care? They’ve cut themselves off from healing(sp?).

They’ve sacrificed their heart for power. They are out

of balance. They can think but they can’t feel. Though they lack emotional intelligence.

Deep sadness. Sighing. Itchy face. Want to cry.

Power. It’s in us but it’s hard to tap into it. Men seem to have

an easier time tapping into their power,

but they lack the ability to tap into their own emotions. Throat chakra sensations.

Feeling attacked. Why do people feel the need to attack each other? Can’t we all just get along? Heavy, weighty feeling. Funny feeling in my stomach. Just let out a burp (had some

big burps, part of the proving of this remedy). Now a chorus of burps.

Us vs. them. Feeling better, more superior than the other guy. Hierarchies. Western civilization.

Shooting pain in my teeth when I chew. Western civilization. It was built on wars and destruction. It was built on seeing the other guy as less than, as inferior. The people they conquered

were barbarians. Genocide. Destroy and conquer. I think Panda bears are a lot more civilized than we are.

C3 Level: Jenny

This was the point when I was saying “Panda where are you?”

Nightmares, dreams coming true. Being guarded against this.

My head really hurts, shifting through left temple and right side of tooth.

As if congestion is moving.

Something pushing up against it making it move.

Images of Chinese miners in relationship to how we view the world. Taking, but sacrificing life, even our life in the process.

There is a sense of longing and foreboding.

Not knowing what to do.

I ask myself what does this mean. 7 min, 3 min.

I have the urge to make music too when I hear the ringing of the bells (I mean bowls).

I get the feeling that bells are a source of joy. What bells I am not sure.

What does this all mean?

I am lost in my thoughts. The expression gets lost.

It feels as if the panda is gone. I feel anxious. Where did it go? Where am I? What happened?

I feel frantic now. Panda, come back. Like I am looking in the bowl for it.

The reflection is not there.

My neck is itchy.

Panda hides from fear.

Only love heals fear.

Red ball -root chakra- survival

Balance all chakras so chi can flow

When chi flows the dance is balanced

Root

Survival

Eat, shelter, basic

Life sustaining, things are threatened, this must be restored.

Feel like painting.

What fears need to be broken through? Something feels sour. The fear feels sour. When you look at yourself deep inside there are always shadow pieces to make peace with.

What is not heart centred in your life becomes sour like an aged apple or festers like a sound causing disease inside. Seeing it, bringing it forward as release makes disease disappear.

The feeling in the heart will guide you.

As much as the heart can be filled with love it can also be a temple guide, leading you to release the “sours” that you have stored and don’t want to let go like a teeter totter that rests on

a fulcrum of change. Change is perpetually in motion. The heart may be your guide through the change.

Secrets are sour. Secrets released. Secrets are like traps. Traps = freedom.

Being solitary and being secretive. Unable to get it out because of fear. Fear of shame?

Desire to make my hands go in rolling motions like spirals, releasing built up stress, rolling.

Forces you to look at what is not working and switch to honouring self, true self.

Maybe like a complacent boredom.

Feel like I am different somehow, like I am not fitting in but like it matters.

There is an image of a long legged bird, like a heron.

Something feels ugly (fleeting) like oppression. When this feeling comes - headache returns.

Headache gone. Now feel calm, peaceful. I just want to sit with my eyes closed, in the sun warming myself before now my thoughts seemed quite jumbled but they have calmed and cleared again.

I feel as if there may be a quality where the person loses themselves. The brain shifts from how it normally functions.

Possibly part of this confused clumsiness comes the not knowing who they are or where they belong.

Brain gets tired and sluggish.

Self doubt. Depression as a result of lack of freedom and not living their truth. The brain gets dull, like two halves of a seed split down the middle no longer communicating

with the whole.

Ɵ

The seed/brain not communicating as a whole.

Need nature

Need water

Need sunlight

Want to speed away from this brain. Feeling maybe if I grind harder, faster, it will go away.

Still a sense of beauty though it feels as if the situation is grave.

There is no flow. Or there is flow and I am not a part of it. Vacant. Staring.

A mother’s breast image comes in the powder.

Noise aggravates my headache.

C3 Level: Prover #3

Loose. Let me be loose.

You don’t have to squish me to know me.

Snow capped. Mount Fiji? No? Singular mountain.

Tickle in throat. Want to cough.

This is super cool. We’re doing this.

I feel backwardy. I only want to go clockwise.

Your idea of perfection is irrelevant, I want to make a mess. Fun. Add water, muck it about.

Let your love flow. Feeling way lighter. Silly, playful. Like I want to be a trickster, make stuff backwards, jokey.

Fish.

Powder is everywhere.

Play more (telling us to)

Right side of face, neck, awareness, heat.

You’ve figured out the solar system, but what about each other? Feeling judgemental.

Want lush, verdant green.

Like I’m not “getting it” - self judgement

Grandmother, rocking chair.

I want a soft, safe place to land.

I see you showing up

for me, in this way no one ever has.

Calculators.

Don’t waste your time. You already know all this. All is in you. You are me.

Funny to grind up lactose from Ontario with my fur to understand me - when I am you.

But thank you. This work is needed.

You don’t have to keep doing it. You will understand.

Tell me, what will you do differently knowing what you know now?

- sort of cheeky, like so what was all this for? If you don’t do or be something with this information - then - don’t bother doing it. Adding data to the database is pointless.

Integration of information, then it becomes your (own) knowledge.

This experience - is to bolster self, you. It is not (only) the Panda data, but the whole greater, wider truth of what’s going on here that’s so important. You must see that. You learn

about self (humanity) through Panda - through trituration. Expansion of collective wisdom.

Data becomes wisdom, knowledge, through its lived experience and integration into self. Walking the talk, you’d say. It’s OK to be still. Dwell in peace.

When something is too close, you cannot see it. Wider picture. Like birds. This helps.

Kung Fu Panda is a good movie.

Itchy inside of ears.

Grounded. Mother earth is my mother. And woozy at the same time. Hiccup (common).

Don’t command me. I know how to do this.

I have teeth, you know.

Physically waning...OK, this one is taking awhile.

Better to be action and not talk than all talk no action.

Crescent.

Eyes drying out. General itchy. Back cracked.

You’ve built your lives around the wrong things. Cars? It’s no matter.

Looking out to mountain - that’s where I should be.

Bitterness. Grumpy.

Masked art.

Want to wash my face in the stream. Feel dirty.

It ’s very quiet - dampened sound.

C3 Level: Prover #4

Eyes swollen with tears. Eyes just swollen. Whole face feels swollen, especially the lower half.

Stitching pains on my left heel. There and then gone quickly.

The smell of Jasmine is in my nostrils. I love my home in the tall grassy thickets. I love the sun filtering through the tall grasses.

So, where do we go from here? It’s on your shoulders.

Who will weep for us when we’re gone?

This is why we’re bringing these messages. We will be gone.

I feel very depressed at this loss to happen soon. My face feels very lax, like there are no muscles left in it (lower ½ of my face).

The image of an eye came up. I think there may be quite a few issues around eyes to do with sight and swelling.

I’m so tired and sad.

We’re good enough for you to make into toys and cartoons, but not good enough to really care about.

Humans allow themselves to be so shallow.

I feel pressure on my sternum as if a rock is sitting on it.

It’s over. I’m incredibly sleepy. There is no more to say.

I wonder why it smells like delicious coffee one minute and then lovely buttered toast and strawberry jam another time?

During the rest of the day I had about 15 bowel movements of easy soft stool. It was not diarrhea - like. It felt very normal to be doing stools in this manner. Normally I have 3 stools at the most and always more firm than this.

C3 Level: Sonya

Morrissey song: You’ll never believe me so why don’t you find out for yourself, sick down to my heart, that’s just the way it goes.

You won’t miss us till we’re gone, and then it will be too late. Does humanity have to get to the lowest point possible before they learn from their mistakes. I don’t think we can sink any lower.

Sensation in my stomach, sinking feeling. Acid reflux. Hard to stomach. Despair. Hopelessness. Is there hope for humanity? It seems pretty bleak.

Tight chest. Please open your hearts before it’s too late. Pleading. What will it take to make you feel, to make you see? I give up. There’s no point, nothing I say or do can convince you.

Feeling powerless. My power has been taken away. I know you’re not giving it back. How to take it back? Do I fight? If I fight, the violence continues. I have to close my heart to fight. I want my heart

To remain open. Just keeping my heart open without fighting isn’t enough. I’ve done that and I’m almost extinct now. Giving up doesn’t seem right either, although it’s tempting.

How can I convince you to see things my way, because it is the right way. How can I convince you to change your ways before it’s too late? Something needs to shift. I don’t know what to do. Should

I go to sleep, lie down and play dead? It’s easier to sleep and disconnect from the world than to act.

What I need to do now is to find some way to connect. Is making this remedy helping Panda to connect to humanity - finally Panda’s voice is being heard by three women sitting here in this room.

One voice crying out in the wilderness. If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it fall, does it really fall? Is that a Chinese proverb? If humanity can open their eyes to witnessing, really seeing Panda’s

destruction, maybe then they will change their ways, or will they?

Be like a man. Act like them and you will earn their respect. It’s a trap. I never ever want to be like them.

How to earn respect in a man’s world without being like them, it’s tricky.

How do we create a better world? We can’t beat ‘em and we can’t join ‘em.

We need to create something new, but what? I’m stuck in the question and it feels heavy.

Nose tingles. Feeling tired. Low energy. Droopy. Feeling defeated, no point. Heavy heart.

Stabbing sensation in my left ear. A clearing sensation in my nose.

May 28 - 30, 2011: Sonya’s Journal

May 28

Sensation of a lump in the esophagus, like acid reflux, with burping.

Husband’s dream last night:

I had a baby, and he came home and the baby had pooed in the kitchen, trickled out from diaper, and poo was on the ground everywhere that he had to pick up and clean up.

Nausea with lots of trapped gas in the esophagus. Tears welling up, digestion symptoms improve after I’m able to cry.

As a child I was a gentle soul, creative and playful. As I got older I came to understand that the world was a hostile place. I was bullied. People were mean. They picked on me. I began to see myself

as less than them, as deficient. I became powerless. I was suicidal. What’s the point? The world is a crappy place. People are mean and hostile. I felt alone. Panda, I am like you. I was hunted too.

People put me in chains. People laughed at me and ridiculed me.

They tried to drag me down, and it almost worked. They hunted me and my kind to the brink of extinction. They are still hunting me. They want to break into my house and take my remedies.

They want to control what I can and cannot sell. They want to censor me. They want to control what I can and cannot write. I am not free.

I also think that the digestive symptoms seem tied to this feeling of being victimized and lack of power.

During lunch: want to eat the bread and veggies only, having a very hard time swallowing the meat which is really off putting right now.

Strange tingling feeling behind my ears at the back of my head. Muffled sound, hard of hearing, very difficult to hear.

Yawning a lot. If one word could sum up one of the main themes it would be “Persecuted” and “Persection”

May 29

You beat me down, put me in chains, and took over the world. My kind has now almost become extinct.

I was outnumbered. I was not free. I am not free to be who I truly am. I felt belittled, deficient, like I mattered less than you did. My ideas, my life, and I was worth nothing. I came to believe what you

believed, that you were somehow better than me, because I was different. I bought your story, and my story was muted. It's time for me to tell my story.

Fascist governments. Communist China. The Harper government in Canada. The Communist government in China didn’t give their people a voice, their voices were not heard. They were treated like children.

“We know what’s best for you, we know better than you do.” It’s time for the people’s voices to be heard. Revolution in Egypt. Is it possible that the common people’s voices will finally be heard?

Can we gain our independence and finally live as equals, as adults, as comrades? We are not children, we don’t need to be controlled, we know what’s best for ourselves and how we want to live our lives. Leave us alone. We don’t want your interference.

May 30

Flirtatious dream, in my dream I was a man and flirting with a woman, sizing her up. Dream of somebody performing on a stage, they did not want to be there. Dream of a piece of furniture that had

been taken from my room and kept hidden from me. A couple nights ago, dream of something evil in my heating vents, I would taunt it by yelling phrases into it and it would repeat back (a bit like

the movie The Ruins). It was evil and it would kill people.

Nasal symptoms:

Prover #4

Has had worse nasal congestion, hard to breathe,

Prover #3

has nasal congestion in the morning.

May 30, 2011: C4 Level Trituration Notes

C4 Level: Jenny

Tell me more about the secrets.

It’s hiding. It’s hiding matters of the heart.

Again the feeling of getting caught - uncovered.

It’s like a storm inside without an eye.

Left foot is itchy.

Struggling to free my mind, relax.

I just remembered, when I have been drinking, I stick my tongue out to catch the drip on the rim of the glass. That strikes me as a funny action, but I don’t feel like laughing.

It is almost like going inward.

You know those sand holes where something shifts underneath and the sand flows inward like caving in.

Spine, energy. Harnassing the kundalini is important.

My chin is so itchy. Left foot itchy again.

On my neck at the base of my head there is a weakness, like I can’t hold my head up if I look up or back.

My hair keeps falling in my eyes.

I feel restless, like I should be doing something or writing faster.

When I hear the scraping I want to jump up and scream, the sound! It doesn’t match with me sitting here.

My ears hear the slightest ding.

Prover #3 is so quiet, don’t hide the sound in little movements, I can still hear it. It seems like maybe the movements/sound don’t match. It is a very fine tuned sound thing.

Everything is exaggerated. When a page turns, I can hear each ruffle. When the key types I can hear it.

I feel territorial, too close, like my space is being encroached upon.

Sensitive smell, like all the stimulus is too much, too close.

I am hungry (normal).

My mouth feels dry

I feel careless, like I don’t care how I turn the mortar and pestle. It should be sacred but I am careless, don’t care.

I ask what will the human that needs Panda experience?

Image of me licking a cub with eyes closed. It looks like a kitten. Does this mean that the human has the urge to lick the baby? Laughter, trying to suppress it. It is so stupid, a human licking the baby.

I feel laughter start inside and comes out like a burst. But I don’t let myself really rumble.

It seems thick, difficult to scrape.

Urge to urinate, I feel embarrassed writing this down, is that panda or human?

I begin to let my mind wander to Isis and the wand she used to do her magic. It is kind of like the spinal cord with energy flowing on either side and through the middle. How does one know that energy?

I can see two pandas playing pat-a-cake. That is all they are doing. I am not to be fooled by their playfulness. They will swat if annoyed.

A story of my daughter telling me she loves cows comes to my mind. The black and white ones. They are like pandas. Sonya’s cup looks like a black and white cow/panda. Are mother pandas called cows?

My vision shifts. I feel greedy, hungry, like a big giant male panda. I am not satisfied hunger wise.

There is just images of the different personas, like bear mom, bear cub, big male. With the female it feels like she’s had enough of feeding her cub. Like feeding is draining, like she wishes the baby would

be done taking her milk. It’s too much. It is a chore. It is not joyful. Feeding makes her sad and annoyed.

I don’t want to give of myself.

The texture of the lactose has changed. It reminds me of mashed potatoes.

I have a very strong desire to lick it.

I am questioning myself.

He (male panda or just the big panda) gets angry easily but then I question does he. Like stormin’ around the forest, mad about something. I don’t know if it is just an expression or that the rage is just

rage for the sake of rage.

I am shown the image of a bamboo tree being ripped out by roots.

We are mighty like the feeling of capability.

I think to prove a point, there is always a choice.

Some things are nature, some things are not.

I want to go slow after this, like tapping the scraper, the sound.

My stomach hurts right around the belly button level.

So I went to the washroom thinking about the big angry panda and then I switched or transitioned to how many people cheat on their husbands. What a strange thought, that’s all it was, so I have to

write it down because it is random.

My eyes are droopy, I am sleepy. My tummy feels like something is gnawing, ache. Yawning.

Then the Dr. Suess saying “Me oh my oh me oh my, what a lot of funny things go by.” There is rhythm in Prover #3’s tapping, I can feel it more through me.

Little ant.

Sound is still distorted. I can hear breathing.

I am sitting back with my shoulders slouched, my hands resting on my tummy. The ache seems better.

As I sit here the question does it express differently in males and females, then my heart skips a beat, does a little lurch, “If you see them as different.”

My feet feel restless, but I don’t want to move. Legs heavy like lead. Really feel like stretching. The feeling of lead is up into my right arm now.

I can smell the plant on the window sill. I squint my eyes. Light is really bright. That is very satisfying to thump the pestle. Screw 100 monkeys, how about 4

Deep sighing.

C4 Level: Prover #3

Wow, already emotion strong! On high alert, tingly.

Thickness. I like the smooth flow/movement of this powder.

Want to yawn but stuck...

Reciprocity.

OK Panda...Can I let you in? You’re there. I’m afraid. Stalling. Wondering what others will think. Is it safe? -I bolster my guides & protection- Just keep going. Keep on... Keep... going...

OK. We’re ready.

Block. Under a block. Egypt.

Big temple. Pyramid? You can do this.

Ancient, more ancient than you know.

OK!

I will do this - take the info.

Chevron. Ferns?

Shaking. Ancient fear, but just OK...OMG. Here we go! We’re doing this -in ceremony. Hand doesn’t want to write or- unfamiliar to form these letters -taking a lot of effort.

Right side of head pressure - awareness.

HUNGRY!

Almost panicky.

Checking in again with guides (protectors) angels to keep me safe.

Persecution.

Holding my throat. Definitely need a scarf today.

Breathing and heart erratic. Cannot have fear to go in. To go further - musn’t, impossible to go further if fear.

Let us cradle you. Lean into us (guides). OK. OK. OK.

Laying on stone, big stone. Fearful - looks like it could crush me.

Have to trust. Jenny laughs. See –remember- you’re OK! Bring in light. Keep it light. Right of passage - this is.

Hungry. Seed planted. But it could be any symbolism - all same roots. All one. Choose whatever you like, no story is wrong. Distill the essence. That is the point. To this, Egypt & all ceremony

- to bring us into wisdom & knowledge. These are tools to help us remember what we already knew. Growling stomach. Sheesh! Hungry.

Feet on ground! Keep, put, your feet on the ground. Opening.

Like the sweat, like the walk up the mountain with cross – Rites of passage. Ceremony. Without deeper truths – in of themselves are meaningless.

Big snuggle from Panda. “Bear hug.” Go for a walk. Show you my sacred space.

Lines. Linear. Bamboo?

Sun? Lotus. Oh, it’s all so tiring (earth mess)

Can we be friends? I’m not sure...we don’t have to be friends to co-exist. Hmmm...good point.

Path, steps up temple. Pyramid? Song: Why can’t we be friends? Why can’t we be friends? Respect and friendship are different. First we must all respect one another...as One.

Causality (what does this mean?)

Want darkness, sensitive to light. Rest, not hibernate.

Panda: I don’t have much to tell you that you don’t already know. Please follow it. Let’s just go to sleep.

Zoning out. Soft purple-like lavender. So sleepy! Yawning...when can we nap? It’s good to switch so I’ll stay awake Sheesh!

Gong. Pendulum! We must always seek balance. In balance can be found eternity.

Feel the softness of the powder. I just want peace and quiet.

I am not connecting. I’m making it up.

All of life supporting you if you let it.

Flower of life.

Itchy left arm at elbow. Crazy itchy right eye (rim).

Distracted. Wanting to roam, go outside.

Why don’t we have personal art galleries - space in our homes showcasing our art & evolution? How great to have layers of walls for each year or whatever cycle. ITCHY EYES!

Super zones out.

C4 Level: Prover #4

I find myself clenching my front teeth. I never do that.

Again, an eye comes up before my vision. My right eye has fleeting pains in it.

So tired.

So human, where do you go from here?

I’m clenching my teeth again...

You need groups

You need circles

Communion, communicate, discuss, discourse, dissemble current thought, digest new thought, begin again, fresh, green, build towards rejuvenation of all things, life, health, babies

and young of all species.

Construct new attitudes. Preserve life for life.

I smell a lamb roasting in the oven.

Go forward. That’s all you can do. Or just sit there and continue to watch it all implode.

Sadly, communication and love are human failings, or the two most important ideals that we’ve failed to advance.

My brain feels groggy and stifled.

There’s an annoying dullness in the frontal area of my brain.

Communicate!

Lamb mmmmmmmm...hungry

Don’t like dogs, they worry me, pester me.

Claws, sharp claws work.

Sinus congestion and a feeling of fullness in all the sinuses around my nose and eyes.

I am very proud to be this great white and black animal. I have done my duty and done it very well. Do yours. Communicate.

Hard to breath. Need fresh air. I don’t like bars. That makes me feel like I can’t breathe too.

Thank you for what you are doing. We are grateful.

Nose running freely, never have that, even when I have a cold.

Feeling sleepy groggy not altogether here.

Feeling silly, exposed, embarrassed.

Heart full of love. Bursting, painful love. Love not returned.

Broken heart, heart attack, heart failure, faulty heart, aching heart.

C4 Level: Sonya

Funny feeling in the abdomen. Is it fear? Fear to speak, fear to express. I need to tell my story. Tell it before I’m gone. We all want to make our mark, to make a difference.

Still feeling, starting to feel more centred.

Once the fear is cleared, I can be creative, have a voice. I can speak from a place of love. I need to let go of the past, but I will not forget it. It’s time to create something new.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. People today often feel powerless,

like they can’t make a difference, that they are bound by someone else’s rules. This is largely an illusion.

We can create reality, but it takes heart.

Powerful. I feel powerful. Power is not something anybody can give to you. It comes from within. It comes by working together, by finding common ground. We are all citizens

of the world and we all want to live.

We all need to have an equal voice. We all need to be heard. People need to educate themselves, think things out and make their own decisions. But we can all agree on this,

we all want to live. And we all need to be free. We need to be free to laugh, roll in the grass, to sit and just be. We need the freedom to work and the freedom to play.

This is the kind of world that our children should be born into.

It’s a fearful feeling to know that you are whole inside, that there is nobody there to tell you what to do,

say or think. It’s so much easier

to follow the rules, do what the government says you should do, stay

with the status quo and be like everyone else. We are all individuals. We all have our points of view and

we all think differently, we are all diverse and that’s beautiful.

Asian cultur

es need to recognize the individual. They need to recognize diversity of opinion. Everybody

needs to have their say and do their own thing. Yet they are united in the common goal of protecting

the sanctity of life. Every single living thing has value. Ever

ything has its nature and it is equally valuable.

Every rock, plant and animal. We need to protect the sanctity of life just as if it was our own life,

because it’s just as valuable.

Have an open heart and let the love flow. Open your heart to the world a

round you. Everything on earth

is alive and has value. Everything has its unique beauty, and everything needs to be respected. Many

humans have forgotten this.

Everything on earth is beautiful, the grass, the trees, the flowers. It’s magical and we must open our heart to the beauty to all living things.

Panda can remind us again of how to love each other, and how to love every living thing on earth, and beyond - the stars, the planets, our atmosphere and the air we breathe. Then will we find peace.

Everything in our universe is sacred. Every single thing. If we forget that we lose our way. The ancients knew this - the First Nations, the Mayans, the Egyptians. Then Western Civilization and fascism took over and we started to forget. It’s time to return to the old ways, to the way it was before. This has happened before and it can happen again.

Every single thing needs freedom. Freedom is necessary in order to thrive and survive. We can’t live

without freedom. Take away freedom, and you take away life.

We are all free. This is the natural state of all life. Look around you, every single thing is free. I am free to

write about this journey with you, Panda bear. I am happy that you have shared with me this lesson.

Freedom comes from within. It’s not some thing that can be handed over from someone to somebody else. It can’t be bought. It’s a feeling, a feeling of balance and a feeling that comes from the heart

And the abdomen (the sacral region). Freedom is being and saying whatever you want, is writing what you want. Freedom brings joy. Humanity, panda’s lesson to you is that you are free to be yourself and to do whatever you want to do, so now, start doing it.

October 12, 2011: After the Trituration

The trituration was months ago now, but today I revisited the remedy once again when I made the 220C potency. I felt like I got most of the remedy but was able to get a fuller, more universal picture, rather than just focussing on one aspect, which was the female/male problem that I struggled with at the time of the trituration.

Notes during potentization:

Fighting spirit – Injustice – Justice

Inequality

Tipping the scales – balance “The Little Guy”

Women, racial minorities

Activists

Yin/yang imbalance

Valuing yang over yin (current imbalance)

Integrating yin and yang – equal

Fighting for equality

Fighting against oppression

Not fair, sees inequality

Fight for justice

(I’m getting heart pain)

Being very clumsy (spilling the water, making mistakes)

Starving – had to eat

 

 

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