Chelydra serpentina = Snapping Turtle/Proving from eggs

Vergleich: Siehe: Reptilia

[Jason-Aeric Huenecke]

I react to the most ridiculous things!

The 3^rd Proving:

Snapping Turtle was the third modern proving conducted at the Northwestern Academy of Homeopathy, in 2004.

Eric Sommermann, PhD, CCH, RSHom (NA) led this proving. He sent a clutch of 10-15 snapping turtle eggs to Michael Quinn at Hahnemann Laboratories, in San Rafael, California.

What’s in a Name?

Chelydra means “water turtle” from the Greek chelys, ‘turtle’, and hydra, ‘water’. Serpentina is Latin for snakelike, and ovum indicates the egg of this creature.

Proving Mental Themes include but are not limited to:

Abandoned, ignored, left behind, left out, forsaken, and a sense of isolation or of being shunned

Anger, fury, rampage, rage, extremely ill-tempered and irritable, with unfiltered aggression

Apathy, depression, gray-minded, and sad

Aversion to company

Confusion, slow-minded

Curiosity coupled with efficiency

Deceit, lying, stealing, taking advantage of another, and treachery

Desire to, yet fear of sticking her neck out

Disgust

Guilt and shame, long held

Homesickness, a sense of home, and homelessness; also, lost and trying to find her way home

Industrious, high energy

Possessiveness and territoriality

Primitive

Simpleminded and direct

Speech excited, loquacity

Victim and aggressor

Yearning for protection

Proving Physical Themes include but are not limited to:

Cold weather aggravates

Collapse

Head, heat (accompanying by anger)

Mouth, slurred speech

Teeth, pain

Jaw pain

Extremities, coldness, formication, and pulsation

Food cravings for raw meat

Formication

Lack of vitality

Naked, unprotected

Stomach, nausea

Tightness throughout

Vertigo, room turns in a circle

When to Give Snapping Turtle:

Given when you see a quiet person, seemingly calm, who is also hidden (believing that if they remain unseen, they won’t be attacked). They have behaviors and symptoms similar to people who need snake remedies; however, their responses are slow rather than quick, demonstrating a primitive aggression toward others accompanied by jealousy and fierce independence.

This individual’s reactions are often out-of-proportion for the situation. The patient appears slow, dazed and confused. The person needing this remedy is almost always defensive. They will experience tightness throughout their bodies (jaws), grinding of their teeth, and have a great sensitivity on their necks. From clinical experience it has

been observed that there is a long history of abuse, deceit, and treachery, as one patient reported, “no one has your back, so you’ve got to hunker down and protect yourself.” Finally, these patients will report, “I practically raised myself…” as their parents seemingly abandon them to work, or use drugs, or are off partying.

Excerpts from the Proving that are Representative of Snapping Turtle:

Failure to Communicate and Desire to be Left Alone:

The classic, “I want to be left alone.” One prover reported, “A huge communication failure; I would say that my response was that I did not even want to talk…and I

didn’t…I didn’t say a word unless I had to.” Another said, “I have very little desire to socialize, and the mindless chatter of people is aggravating me more than usual.”

Slowness and Out-of-Proportion Reactivity:

In this proving of Snapping Turtle, the reaction time is slow, there is a trance-like movement through daily activities, and the reaction is often strikingly out of proportion

to the actual situation.

“I react to the most ridiculous things.” The response to this reaction is a desire to hide and rest.

Hurried and Industrious:

With a sense that time is running out, the provers hurried themselves, only requiring themselves to slow down and do their work with carefulness and attention to detail.

“I am feeling task oriented and industrious,” and “Now I must get to work. Industrious is a word I keep thinking of… I want to be industrious. If I am not I feel worthless.”

Dreams of Abandonment, Being Shunned and Hopelessness:

“I was so sure I would be kicked out of the proving! I couldn’t bear the sound of that. Why? Not being a part of the group. Not going to be a part of the bigger project.

The accomplishment would go on without me. I would be left behind. A nothing. While they would go on to grand & great things, I would be this worm left behind.

It was as if I could see them take off into the sky and I was left behind...”

“I dreamt last night of seeing an abandoned child on the street and needing to help him because his mother was sick. I felt very sad when I woke up. The feelings I had about finding that abandoned child in my dream were very frustrating, but basically protective. ...I was sad because I knew his situation was somewhat hopeless...”

Dreams of Being Lost and on the Wrong Track or Disoriented:

“At one point we were on the wrong road. I just had this sense we were on the wrong track. I went to the map and I was right. It was dark and in the middle of the night, and the road just didn’t feel right. I remembered travelling that way before and the road didn’t feel right…”

“Losing my way. I was going to visit my grandmother, my dad’s mother. I have never dreamt of her before. Driving in this very old urban area of the town I grew up in, a very industrial area, with lots of railway underpasses, through the river valley. Turned onto what I thought was her street and parked the car. I began to walk to her house, and then remembered I brought something for dinner and had left it in the car. Tried to go back to the car, but could not find it. I had only walked maybe three houses down from my car, but I became very disoriented. I walked up and down the streets looking for the car. I couldn’t even remember the name of the street. I asked this woman for help.

She said I could go to her high-rise apartment to see if I could see the car from there.”

Dreams of Becoming Enraged (Out-of-Proportion Reaction):

“Staying at my mother’s house. I went to shower, but she had left a lampshade drying in the shower that she had washed. Water went everywhere, all over everything, and

I became furious. I raged around, throwing the lampshade and the bath mat.”

“I wake up thirsty – very dry in throat and mouth all the way down to my lungs. Some mucus in throat I am able to hawk up. Clear to whitish color, consistency of egg whites.”

“I feel pain in my left lower jaw like a toothache. The pain goes all the way up the left side of my head. I decide to lie on my left side, the sore side. This seems to make it feel better. I feel my heart beating strongly in my body and a strong pulsation throughout.”

Facts about the Common Snapping Turtle:

“The largest recorded common snapping turtle weighed 34 kg. Female snapping turtles may make considerable migrations to find a suitable nesting site, with the longest recorded round trip being a massive 16 km. The common snapping turtle’s extremely varied diet makes it a somewhat flatulent species. Although the common snapping turtle prefers shallow waters, it is capable of diving to depths of 2 or 3 m or more.

The common snapping turtle inhabits a wide range of water bodies, from rivers and lakes to temporary ponds and marshes. However, this species tends to show a preference for slow-moving waterways which have a sandy or soft mud bottom and an abundance of aquatic vegetation. The water bodies inhabited by the common snapping turtle are usually shallow, but this reptile can also be found along the edges of deep lakes and rivers.

Beaver lodges and muskrat bank burrows are an important component of common snapping turtle habitats, as this large reptile often uses such cavities for shelter.

Although considered to be a freshwater species, the common snapping turtle can sometimes be found in brackish coastal waterways, including tidal creeks.

Surprisingly, the common snapping turtle is relatively tolerant of polluted waters, and is one of relatively few reptiles which can regularly be found in acidic streams.

Juvenile common snapping turtles usually occur in shallower, vegetated habitats, shifting to deeper water as they grow. This may be linked to a preference for taking larger prey as an adult.”

Mythology:

“In the beginning there was only one water and the water animals that lived in it. Then a woman fell from a torn place in the sky. She was a divine woman, full of power.

Two loons flying over the water saw her falling. They flew under her, close together, making a pillow for her to sit on. The loons held her up and cried for help. They could

be heard for a long way as they called for other animals to come. The snapping turtle called all the other animals to aid in saving the divine woman’s life. The animals decided the woman needed earth to live on. Snapping turtle said, ‘Dive down in the water and bring up some earth.’ So they did….”

[Eric Sommermann]

They aren’t named “Snapping” turtles for nothing. Famed for their aggressiveness and determination, snapping turtles are known to remove fingers when provoked (Theme: Ill-tempered).

Their large jaws are extremely powerful clamping down with intense force and mindful determination. Snapping turtles have evolved the ability to snap because unlike other turtles, they are too large to hide in their own shells when confronted. (Theme: Scared Outside) Snapping is their defense mechanism. When given the chance, a snapping turtle prefers to hide and retreat.

It has fears of getting trapped and not being able to get away (Theme: Trapped). They also feel the vulnerability of their head and limbs that they cannot completely pull into their shell (Theme: Scared Outside; Amputations)

Snappers are more at home in the water, where they are more agile. On dry land they are cumbersome (Theme: Slow-moving). This “denseness” or cumbersome nature is translated to the dazed, spacey and drugged feeling at times (Theme: Muddy-headed). Spending much of their time dug into the banks of rivers or ponds, there is a “dreamy” feeling.

The importance of their home cannot be minimized. Given their awkwardness on land, they prefer to “stay at home” so to say (Theme: Home, House). Carrying their home on their back, the concept of home is not only structurally important to them but it is also their protection (aside from biting). The care and condition of their home is important (Theme: Disgust and Insects).

There also seems to be some distress or disorientation when trying to get home or to get to a location.

Day to day a snapper’s life is one of efficiency (Theme: Efficiency, Work). Of utmost importance is eating and food (Theme: Don’t Take my Food). They can get quite angry when food or shelter is concerned. They like to accomplish things and feel better about themselves when they are able to do this. They like things to be simple and straight-forward. Complex things frustrate them and when people don’t work efficiently they can get angry.

Besides their famed temper, Chelydra is actually a little child-like in nature. They have a simpleness that can be taken as directness or bluntness. They see things clearly and simply and see no problem voicing this. When happy, they have a curiosity about life (Theme: Curiosity) and can be exuberant and optimistic.

Given that turtles are reptiles we see many common reptile themes. They fear being left out and ignored (Theme: Forsaken). They may be victims of deceit or be taken advantage of or they themselves may lie or steal (Theme: Deceit). They feel great guilt and shame when they behave deceptively.

Physical Overview

The Chelydra pathology seems to center on the Mouth, Skin and Stomach. An almost “must see” would be some pathology with the Mouth, Teeth and/or Jaws given Chelydra’s strong powerful jaws. Another confirmation would be flushes of head to the head when angry or emotional. Many areas of the body (areas usually moist) are

dry and their is much formication and itching.

The formication might feel as if lice. The stomach can be disordered with belching and gas. There also appears to be instances of ravenous appetite and cravings for red meat.

(See the complete Repertory: Physicals for a more complete physical profile)

Repertory:

Mind: Ambition increased

Anger [easily (with noise)/about food]

Anxiety (about not enough food/to company)/Fear (of being taken advantage of /of being trapped)

Blunt, speaks him mind *

Dazed, feels

(moves) “As if in a dream”/“As if drugged”

Confusion of mind

Concentration difficult

Cleaning, desire to straighten house

Clearly, sees situation

Company, aversion to

Curiosity (noticing details)

Deceit

Delusion = forgotten/is by teacher and others ignored/left out/ Delusion, Slow-motion, that others are in/is unappreciated/is worthless (not accomplishing)

Decisive

Determined/dictatorial

Direct (desires things to be done efficiently/speaks mind)

Disgust (at insects in the house)

Efficiency, desires

Fidgety

Forgetful

Forsaken

Guilt

Hide, desire to

Home – desires (to stay inside, where warm and safe)

Hurried (others seem to move in slow-motion)

Industrious

Impatient

Laughter

Light-hearted

Loquacity

Lost (cannot find home or car)

Lying

Irritability (to own family/towards children/about business/with everything/when coerced/when expectations not met/when not appreciated)

Industrious

Nostalgic

Overreacting/feels overwhelmed

Rage

Shame

Snaps, at people when angry

Simple

Senses, acute

Spacey

Speech excited

Stealing, food (and feeling guilty)

Stupefaction

Work, aversion to

Vertigo: Room turns in a circle

In waves

Head: Chilliness, icy

Eruptions

Formication

Hair, dry

Heat (in waves, rushes upward to head/when angry)

Heaviness

Jaw – pain (lower left/accompanied by vertigo, hunger, frontal, sinuses)

Scalp, dry

Pressure, “As if squeezed” during vertigo

“As if pulling down back of head”

Eye: Closing the eyes

Heaviness

Itching in canthus

Pain “As from a nail”

Photophobia

“As if sand”

Tired

Warmth

Vision: acute/foggy

Ear: Pain - acute, sharp/sides alternating/”As if stopped”

Hearing: Acute

Sounds, humming, melodic, ringing.

Nose: Dry

Eruptions, acne

Pain - acute, at bridge of nose, sticking

“As if open”

Smell acute

Sneezing

Sniffles

Face: Lips- dry/red/swollen

Eruptions - acne around lips, dry, patches

Flushed

Sensitive

witching sensation

Mouth: Dry

Speech, thick (slurred)

Pain in tongue (left side)

Taste, bloody.

Teeth: “As if dry”/”As if hollow”

Pain (left lower teeth, left upper teeth, right upper teeth, shooting)

Throat: Constricted

Dry

Dysphasia, difficulty swallowing

Hawk disposition to, > from water, < upon waking

Mucus tenacious

Numbness

Pain – l./r.

Pressing sensation

Scratchiness, < by post nasal drip

Swollen cervical glands.

Sensation in throat, slight, upper right, that comes and goes, “As if someone putting pressure there with their finger”.

External throat: Cyst, “As if from insect bite”, painful, red

Formication ext. down neck and arms.

Larynx and trachea: Strained sensation

Tightness.

Neck: Formication

Pain - > rubbing

Stretch, desire to

Tight

Stomach: Appetite absent during the day, increased at night, with perspiration, with trembling

Appetite insatiable

Discomfort

Eructations (belching in sleep/< wine)

“A if full” after eating ever so little/”As if knotted”

Nausea

Pain - after eating/pressing

Ravenous

Rumbling

Sinking feeling accompanies hunger

Thirst upon awakening, not > water/thirstlessness.

Abdomen: Anxiety in

Distention

Flatulence trapped

Pain > rubbing

Pulsation

Sensitive to pressure

Spasm around umbilicus.

Rectum: Constipation

Flatus in sleep

Hemorrhoids - painful, protruding (like a tail)

Itching

Pain - burning, prickling, stretched (as if)

Teared, bleeding.

Stool: Brown/dry/loose during menses

Bladder: Pain - stitching

Urging to urinate, frequent (every 30 minutes)

Urging to urinate, immediately; if he does not urinate involuntary he feels as if urine passed.

Female organs: Discharge, absent, copious

Menses - accompanied by loose bowels/brown, clotted, copious, delayed, mucus absent, slow, watery

Pain - long-lasting, burning, cramping absent, cramping; itching, pubic bone

In uterus sensation of something alive in, tossing, turning.

Respiration: “As if asthmatic”

Deep; Difficult

Labored

Cough: Asthmatic/dry

Expectoration: Tenacious

Chest: Fullness

Mucus in lungs

Oppression (tight)

Pain - acute, < lying on right side/ribs

Pulsation

Spasm

Back: Formication

Itching in lumbar region, burning, violent

Pain - aching, dorsal region, scapulae, right, joints, lumbar region accompanied by menses, sitting, shoulders

Tight.

Extremities: Cold/heat

Formication, crawling, creeping

Numb

Pain - cramping, deep, nates, night in bed, right sided, thigh

Perspiration hands

Pulsation, fingers in, intermittent

Restless

Trembling in hands internally

Varices.

Sleep: Catnaps between 13 - 18 h.

Drowsiness

Falling asleep easy

Interrupted, by formication

Perspiration during sleep

Position, changed frequently (tossing much), unchanged (one position throughout sleep)

Refreshing

Restlessness

Sleepy 16 h., from sounds in the heart, overpowering/sleepless until 3 h.

Unrefreshing

Waking, 5 h. difficult, frequently.

Dreams: of an abandoned child/animals [bats, chickens, dog, snakes (yellow)]/bathing, showering/beheading/amputations/dismemberment of body/of being in cars/of a cave/closeness, in proximity/of being cold/community of people/crawling on the ground/of being curious/bed/hunting for a place to sleep/bloody/of someone being deceived/

of being dismissed/disoriented/of difficulty in driving/dwarves/of escaping, of/examinations failed/excluded/family members/fate/fighting/someone eating her food/of being forsaken/giants/guilt/hiding/feeling indebted/inferiority/jealous/being laughed at/lost/playful/pool of water/rage/repulsive/of a person being ridiculed/romantic/scorned/of sickness/trapped/travelling/trees growing fast (maple trees/pruning, small trees/trunks)/unsuccessful efforts/work

Perspiration: Cold/flushes of heat/during sleep

Skin: Dry

Eruptions, acne, desquamating, patches

Formication

< Cold weather/< wet weather

Chill: # flushes of heat

Generals: < 18 h.

< by open air, desires open air

“As if something alive” internally

< cold/< cloudy weather

Collapse

Complaints appearing suddenly, disappearing suddenly (rapidly)

Dryness of usually moist internal parts

Faintness

Fatigued

Formication, “As from lice”

Lack of vital heat in morning

Pain aching

Pulsation, lying down increases

> Riding in a car

Stiffness

Sudden manifestation

Trembling, externally from hunger, internally

Vigor, vitality, energy in the evening

Lack of vitality

Weakness

< wet (damp) weather/< wind

Food and drinks: Desires: Cheese/Chocolate/Coffee/Cream/Dairy/Eggs/Farinaceous food/Fat/Ice cream/raw meat/red meat/rich food/Salad/Salt/Sweets

Aversions: Honey < tooth pain; Sweets < tooth pain

Allerlei: Sondern ein stinkendes Sekret ab xvx, wenn sie sich bedroht fühlen.

Ovum Chelydra Serpentina (Snapping Turtle Egg)

[Jason-Aeric Huenecke]

Editor’s note: The submission style for this proving includes references to turtles from other proving substances. We set them apart in boxes throughout the proving. I hope you will find this helpful

in training ourselves to make connections between remedies with a similar experience.

“All the thoughts of a turtle are turtle.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Master Prover:

Eric Sommermann, PhD, RSHom (NA) led the proving of Ovum chelydra serpentine

15 provers participated in this double blind study. Neither provers nor supervisors knew what the proving substance was.

Breeding & Biology:

Every aspect of the common snapping turtle’s (Chelydra serpentina) life is full of aggression, including their breeding instinct. Triggered by temperature changes from winter into spring the snapper

is quite prolific, laying 20-80 eggs per year that hatch in 9-15 weeks. Some incubate throughout the winter. Females can hold sperm for several seasons. Snappers live 30 years in the wild and nearly

50 years in captivity; additionally, snapping turtles in captivity have a tendency toward obesity.

“Mating takes place from April to November. In the mating process, the male positions himself on top of the female’s shell by grasping the shell with his claws. He then curves his tail until his vent contacts the female’s vent. Fertilization takes place at this time. After the eggs have developed sufficiently in the female, she excavates a hole, normally in sandy soil, and lays as many as 83 eggs.

The eggs take 9 to 18 weeks to hatch depending on the weather. Interestingly, female snapping turtles sometimes store sperm for several years. Sperm storage allows individuals to mate at any time

of the year independent of female ovulation, and it also allows females to lay eggs every season without needing to mate.”

Classification:

The first turtles lived over 200 million years ago. Classified by their shells, the snapping turtles’ shell can grow from 8 inches up to 19 inches in length and it encases their bodies in a shell of bony

plates covered by horny scales. It is usually dark and has ridges, although these ridges diminish as the animal ages. Covered with algae or plantlike growths, the snapping turtles’ shell range in color

from dark green or black allowing them to blend into their habitat easily. They weigh from 8 to 35 lbs. and look rugged, muscular, and prehistoric. They have large heads with a hook on the upper

jaw that resembles a beak (no turtles have teeth). Their necks can lengthen across half of their shell, thus making the snapper very dangerous to human digits.

Male snappers’ tails are usually longer than females’. This difference is called dimorphism.

“Soreness of external parts, as if the skin were off (about elbow),” has been confirmed as an indication in Chelone glabra, in the Scrofulariaceae family, also known as

“turtle-head” according to J.H. Clarke; this is of note considering the vulnerability of the snapping turtle and its limbs.

Snapping turtles live in North America, Central America and South America, from southern Canada to Ecuador. These turtles typically live in vegetation filled wetlands, marshes, in rivers and streams and swamps; shallow, calm or brackish waters with muddy bottoms.

Most make their homes in freshwater areas, but some live quite well in somewhat salty waters. They also hibernate through long winters in northern climes.

Hibernation:

In northern climes, snapping turtles hibernate by burrowing deep into the earth within bodies of water.

“Scientists have found that the blood of hibernating turtles actually changes to function like antifreeze used in car radiators.

As a result, the turtle’s body temperature can drop to only a few degrees above freezing, which is much lower than that of most animals that hibernate.”

Food Habits:

Snapping turtles are omnivores meaning they eat everything available to them including insects, eggs of all kinds, small mammals, fish, amphibians, reptiles, mollusks, ducklings, goslings, adult ducks and geese, and primarily eat carrion as well as vegetation of all sorts including algae. Turtles that eat flesh have hooked shaped beaks similar

to those of raptors; easily slice and tear food and enemies apart.

Predators:

Snapping turtles’ predators include humans for their meat; their eggs and hatchlings are preyed upon by alligators (Alligator mississipiensis); great blue herons (Ardea herodias); magpies (Corvidae); crows (Corvus brachyrhynchos), and ravens (Corvus corax); Opossum (Didelphis virginiana); gulls (Larus); striped skunks (Mephitis mephitis); largemouth bass (Micropterus salmoides); northern water snakes (Nerodia sipedon); raccoons (Procyon lotor); bullfrogs (Rana catesbeiana); and red foxes (Vulpes). Few animals manage to prey on them once they reach maturity; they are pugnacious and ferocious, defending their lives aggressively with the slightest provocation.

Uses:

Humans commonly eat snapping turtle meat. Native Americans commonly use snapping turtle shells in many of their ceremonies. The shells have been dried and mounted

on handles with corn kernels inside for use as rattles.

Mythology:

“In the beginning there was only one water and the water animals that lived in it. Then a woman fell from a torn place in the sky. She was a divine woman, full of power.

Two loons flying over the water saw her falling. They flew under her, close together, making a pillow for her to sit on. The loons held her up and cried for help.

They could be heard for a long way as they called for other animals to come. The snapping turtle called all the other animals to aid in saving the divine woman’s life.

The animals decided the woman needed earth to live on. Snapping turtle said, ‘Dive down in the water and bring up some earth.’ So they did....”

Mind: Strange sensation when driving through a tunnel at night, when illuminated. Felt like I was a cell or something very small passing through a blood vessel.

I still have this sensation of a dreamy feeling, like I’m functioning after not having slept all night. I can concentrate and am able to get things accomplished. It is hard to describe but I feel normal yet when I look up, it looks dreamy. Something like I’m normal but my eyes are a little dreamy or my vision is a little dreamy.

Dream, as if in a dream affecting vision. I felt “altered” when driving, like I wasn’t quite all there. It’s almost like I am on a drug, not really connected to what I am doing,

but without the grogginess of a drug, like I feel as if I am drinking alcohol.

I feel drunk when I got up this morning. My speech seems slurred, my body heavy, my head feels heavy, and I feel like I can’t think clearly. This feeling lasts for about 15 minutes.

I saw horses when I closed my eyes. When [I] got home from work I turned on the television and the Kentucky Derby was on!

[As] compared to normal, I am actually thinking quite clearly as I go though this; usually my thinking gets muddled, because of fear and worry. But this time I feel unusually clear thinking about this whole deal. I clearly see where everyone...is misunderstanding the other.

I am a bit resentful that I have to be the one to mediate this all out. But it seems no one else...sees it as clear as I do.

Everything [seems] clear, more colorful, sharper and vivid.

I find that I am more forgetful and easily angered in the evening.

I had a dream about food practices, making sure that foods are properly cleaned; I can’t remember any more and am finding this frustrating. [It] feels like my thoughts are being taken away.

Bell.: Delusion: sees large turtles in room.

Now I feel angry that my thoughts are being taken away, [I] feel like someone is doing this to me. It makes me angry.

[I experienced a] fuzzy feeling in [my] head, as if I couldn’t quite make sense of the moment... better after eating... [this] feeling continued all day, [it was] less intense in

the evening.

Mental cloudiness, confusion, dazed, difficulty concentrating and focusing on tasks; distracted easily, and feeling spacy.

I felt spacey while driving. Would shake my head to get rid of the feeling and get back to the present. That would help for awhile, but the feeling would return.

[I] feel very upbeat and positive; like I am surrounded by great possibilities and potential for success...that I will succeed.

Something is opening up for me. I sense an opening of opportunity. I feel very blessed. I feel very aware and I want to be still and see what I can feel and experience.

I desire to meditate. I wonder if I should wait till after the proving...but I don’t want to.

I felt upbeat and positive, like surrounded by possibilities and potential that I will succeed, like a window or opening portal of opportunity - I can almost see it, as if

something opened up in the cosmos.

I am very blessed, very aware; I want to be still and see what I can feel and experience. I have a deep desire to go inwards.

I continue to feel very positive and hopeful.

The role of mediator.

[I am] stuck in the middle trying to mediate between all the players and ticked off about having to educate people on how they are being selfish and not thinking through

what other people’s timeline is. Compared to normal, I am actually thinking quite clearly as I go though this.

Determined and motivated.

Curious and detail oriented.

I seemed to notice something I never saw before and was very curious about it; something by the railroad station. I craned my neck trying to make out what I was seeing

and almost stopped the car to look. It was noticing details I have never seen and being curious about it.

Everything [seems] clear, more color, sharper. [I] caught myself looking at flowers on bed cover, noticing them.

I wanted to be close to who I used to be, carefree and full of hope for all possibilities.

I have been very nostalgic this week. I have been thinking about people from my past.

I was very easily and quickly offended by a conversation at work. I took it personally and felt like I was being insulted -when I felt like I was being insulted at work-

my coworkers were talking about dedicated fathers, and their conversation was such that I felt like they were insulting my own father because he had served in the Navy

and was away on deployment quite often when I was young.

I immediately felt as though I had to defend his honor and integrity because they had no idea what they were really talking about. I didn’t strike out at them, but it was

a bit of an internal struggle to make the choice to leave the room. I got very shaky inside and my face was very hot and flushed.

Irritability with children, co-workers, family members, pets.

Extreme irritability and annoyed with everything.

Irritability accompanying haemorrhoid; I feel it is disgusting to have this tail thing hanging out of my butt.

Dictatorial; Impatient; Overreacting.

I became very easily angered at the remarks of my travelling companions; I stormed off and wouldn’t speak to anyone for hours.

A huge communication failure; I would say that my response was that I did not even want to talk...and I didn’t...I didn’t say a word unless I had to.

I have very little desire to socialize and the mindless chatter of people is aggravating me more than usual.

I want to be left alone.

Aversion to company.

Desire to hide and rest.

I react to the most ridiculous things.

Industrious.

I am feeling task oriented and industrious.

Once I got going on my homework I felt better emotionally, like I was accomplishing something. I feel like if I don’t accomplish something each day I am losing time, getting behind. If I get behind

I feel like I will never catch up.

I had an itch to get out in the garden. I love to see the green shoots coming up in the spring. I still have the urge to be industrious and would have liked to work in the garden all day.

[While travelling] at one point [I suddenly realized] we were on the wrong road. I just had this sense we were on the wrong track. I went to the map and I was right. It was dark and in the middle of the night, and the road just didn’t feel right. I remembered travelling that way before and the road didn’t feel right.

Sensation that time is running out.

Hurried.

Speech excited, loquacity.

I talked with my proving supervisor about the proving today. I feel like I am revealing way more than I am comfortable with at times...I feel vulnerable...at times I feel tears come on while talking to him and like my voice was loud.

I’m noticing the birds and rabbits as I walk today.

I was talking out loud in the house (no one was there) cheering the crow on because usually the blue jays are mean and chase everyone away. I was cheering for the underdog. I was saying,

“It serves you right you nasty blue jay, always chasing the other birds away. Go get him crow! Give him what he deserves!” I had a malicious feeling towards the blue jay. Normally I would feel for

whoever was getting shoved around.

The centipedes have started to appear in my house (it is spring and very wet), and as usual, I am frightened and disgusted by them, but more so. Tonight I stood on a chair when one ran

past me when my dog was chasing it. I wanted him to kill it, but I was worried it might bite him.

Anxious; Fearful; Obsessing.

I felt very, very unappreciated.

I am packing up to go home. I am really looking forward to getting home.

I felt weak, trembling; I want to hide and rest. It’s windy and I do not like it; I am restless and want to stay home inside my house. I do not like being restless, I want to stay home and inside the house.

I’m anxious, I’m afraid of being too bossy. I think the trembling feeling I am having relates to the not wanting to be so bossy.

I haven’t found a healthy alternative.

Thoughts of death; thinking about death in wakeful times.

Last night in bed there is a rattling of my bedroom door that wakes me with a jolt. I think it is the cat batting the door but I feel fearful, thinking it could be someone in the house. Normally I would get up and scold the cat and then go downstairs to check if the gates to keep the dogs in have been taken down so she can get to her food and water. I am fearful and don’t want to go out of the bedroom.

I think I should go check on my daughter but I am fearful. I am awake for a little while then I make myself go back to sleep and I sleep soundly.

Stupefaction.

Fidgety; Restless.

Overwhelmed.

Wildness; wild cravings.

Dreams: Abandoned child; Accidents; Animals, bats, chickens, dog, snakes (yellow); Bathing, showering; Beheading; Cars; Cave; Closeness; Cold, of being; Community

of people; Crawling on the ground; Curious, of being; Beach; Bed, hunting for a place to sleep; Bloody; Body, dismemberment of, odor; Deceived; Dismissed, of being; Disoriented; Driving; Dwarves; Escaping; Examinations, failure; Excluded; Family members; Fate; Fears; Fighting; Finery; Food, ethnic food, someone eating her food; Forsaken, of being; Giants; Guilt; Hiding; Indebted feeling in; Inferiority; Interviewed; Jealous; Laughed at, of being; Lost; Mess; Mother; Playful; Police; Pool of water; Proud, of being; Rage; Repulsive; Ridiculed; Risk taking; Rivers; Romantic; Scorned; Senses acute; Sickness; Silly; Sister; Snow; Striptease; Surgery; Trapped; Travelling; Treasure; Trees, fast growing trees, Maple trees, pruning, small trees, trunks; Unsuccessful efforts; Work.

Dreams absent during menses

Dream: I am with my daughter in a car; in a town with steep hills. There is ice and snow. I try to get up a hill so I can get out of town. I can’t get up the hill; I back down.

I find another hill that

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