Elaeocarpus
ganitrus =
Rudraksha/bead = tear. of rage.
Vergleich: Siehe: Oxydales
[Chetna N. Shukla]
“ The lord of the universe drew his bow and unleashed his arrows at the
triple city, burning demons and hurling them into the western ocean, for the
welfare of creation. Then the three-eyed God restrained the fire born of his
anger, saying to it: “Enough! Do not reduce the world to ash!”
The Mahabharata (circa 300 B.C.)
Special note on proving:
All subjects that the Rudraksha chose to express itself through had one
theme surrounding ‘marriage’. P2 was in love with a boy from the lower caste
and the family disagreed to this alliance as it was against customs. P3
was a new entry and I did not know much about her but in the proving she
had “For the first time (I) had a disagreement with my sister in law regarding
my marriage issue”. P4 was getting married in Dec 1996 and it was an arranged
marriage according to customs. P5 was forced to marry her first cousin against
her wishes according to family traditions.
About the Rudraksha/
Ustram bead…
The ascetic followers of Shiva have given the bead its name, Rudraksha.
Rudra is another name for Shiva, and his devotees believe the Rudraksha bead is
the tear of rage that fell from Rudra’s eye as he beheld the effrontery of
mankind. Legend says the destroyer wept when he witnessed the towering
metropolis or triple city created by man’s superbly ambitious technology. In
its arrogance, this magnificent human creation had undermined the balance
between earth, the atmosphere, and the sky. Then, according to the Mahabharata,
having shed the implacable tear, which turned into an ustram bead, the Lord of
the Universe, unleashed its arrows at the triple city for the welfare of
creation.
Substance used: The
whole fruit with the bead freshly plucked from the tree in December 1995 from
the foothills of the Himalayas (Haridwar)
Provers: 1 ♂ and 4 ♀ provers
The Quest and the Question!
My quest for satisfying aphorism 3 of our Hahnemann’s Organon has been
inspiring me in this endeavour of mine of conducting so many proving. But the
question is also
“Did the conductor of the proving modify the original text of this
happening?”
“Did she corrupt the words spoken?”
Therefore I have given the proving verbatim and in the sequence as it
unfolded itself (in its individual way) at that particular time. I have
selected this prover as he represents best the Quintessence if this substance.
Even the Repertory has been in the exact words of the provers.
‘Words have their own magic and their magnetism.
Each word creates its own sequence.
And each sequence creates its own magic.
Words begin to get alive in their own way when in a sequence, and they
go on and on…
A word may mean something on its own, but its significance changes in
the sequence!’
“Therefore I feel why not receive the words as it is, as a whole, and
alive?”
In this way I am trying to nearly wholly resort to a holistic approach!
I have refrained from the temptation of making any associations between the
proving and the outwardly observed behaviour and disposition of any of these
co-habitants in their eco-niche. I leave that to the readers. But to get an
extended idea of a substance, and to be able to find coherence in different
fields of information and the projection in human beings about the substance
under examination I have also given information about the substances that go to
make our remedies. This helps us link the microcosm with the macrocosm.
The pattern:
All subjects that the Rudraksha chose to express itself through had one
theme surrounding ‘marriage’. P2 was in love with a boy from the lower caste
and the family disagreed to this alliance as it was against customs. P3 was a
new entry and I did not know much about her but in the proving she had “For the
first time (I) had a disagreement with my sister in law regarding my marriage
issue”.
P4 was getting married in Dec 1996 and it was an arranged marriage
according to customs. P5 was forced to marry her first cousin against her
wishes according to family traditions.
PROVER 1 ♂
(I have known him very closely. Sometime back he had a major emotional
setback - a break in his love affair, the reason being family customs and
traditional fixities. He was successfully coming out of it, getting in tune
with the outside and his inside. He was always eager to do proving. I told him
to feel the remedy and follow his feelings in the same. He took the dose. I
trust in this way of dealing with feeling. Without this prover this proving
would have definitely lacked something I feel. In defense of giving importance
to his proving experience I would like to quote Hahnemann from Organon § 126…
“(H)is body must be in what is for him a good state of health, and he
must possess a sufficient amount of intelligence to be able to express and
describe his sensations in accurate terms.”
Who else, but the prover him/herself, would best know what is for
him/her a good state of health; that is of course only for him/her to feel!)
1st MEETING
I took the dose three days after you gave it to me. From the time I took
it from you I had no fear. It was as if I knew that it would have a good effect
on me. I was cool and sure of myself. I felt positive. I am laughing more often
and not nervous. I am talking and saying whatever I feel without dictating,
listening to others without feeling overwhelmed by their point of view. I am
not indecisive. I am sure. I feel at ease. I feel I can take on anything.
I feel quiet o.k. at home and otherwise about all things. I have a lot
of problems at home, everyone is angry, but I feel cool now! (Smiles
pleasantly) everyone is losing control and all are angry but I am not. I am
cool, at ease.
I don’t even have to exert any control. It is easy! (Normally I feel
angry but I suppress. I feel something is cutting me in the inside me. I feel
they are doing this to me and that to me…) Now I am at ease!
And that day I also spoke what I felt. Why let it go out of my hand,
feel afraid of telling the feelings. My sister in law whom I told also took
everything in the right spirits too! It was a relaxed atmosphere. It was
acceptance.
I say, “it happens”, “cool”, “relax” often! I feel this scene was like a
smooth wave, no turbulence, cool and I also feel like this. I don’t get anxious
and hyper about anything.
Normally every time I have a drink (alcohol) I get bad dreams but now in
the proving after booze I do not get bad dreams. Now I also smoke in front of
others. Let the world know that I smoke. Why hide and do it? I am this and
smoking does not make me a bad man! I am also having sexual dreams-not about
having sex.
I feel this is a very “understanding” remedy! All things are falling in
place for me in my life. I don’t have to run around, get anxious, and get
tensed. Before the proving I was feeling how would I, how can I take it (with
personal break up with girl friend)? But now it is as if this feeling is just
not there. I am at peace with myself, no conflict at all.
I feel everyone should get along well and I am actually working towards
it at home with all the family members. I have a sister in law with whom I have
not talked since the last 5 years, no eye contact. Now the conversation is
easy, smooth and natural.
And yes!
One dream…
* I am working in the hospital. It is as if it is very real. There is a
patient, a little girl with circulatory disorder. She has white eyeballs. I say
the diagnosis is ‘Retinitis Pigmentosa’ and the doctor says no it is
‘Vancouver’s disease’ and is laughing while the patient is very serious.
In the inside I feel all the time ‘do whatever makes you comfortable’.
Once you are comfortable with yourself everything around you is. It is not a
selfish attitude.
Another dreams…
* I see my friend is trying to light a match with friction against a
marble.
* I see my motorbike. The red pipe (of the petrol) is cut. I don’t know
why and who did it? I get a lot of sexual dreams. I also dream…
* That you are asking me to watch a movie-a sexual one. And you insist
that I watch it (laughs!)
Twice I went to the beach. I feel like going there everyday especially
in the mornings. Clothes I don’t mind whatever I wear it does not matter. Casual
wear, casual look whatever it does not matter.
The feeling is everyone knows me how I am. What I am. I don’t need to
make any impression on anyone. I have no restrictions, just cool, and no
retaliation, in flow with whatever is happening.
But I want things neat and clean.
I have no violent anger, but I feel cool. I am not indifferent. I feel
that I can work out things my way, not dictating. I know I can do it I can get
it done. If you are there and you co-operate with me I will work with you, if
don’t I will do it alone. I don’t create hassles and want no hassles and
problems. I can get things done in a nice manner without deceiving or
domination. I know what I want and what
I can get.
If this remedy were not there, the trauma that I was going through in
the inside, I would have allowed myself to be shattered by booze and smoke.
This remedy has soothed me! I feel cool. I can accept the events of life. It is
because with the remedy I am feeling one with myself. No conflicts within me.
Things and events in life happen, one must accept, some things must be left to
destiny. I really feel this deep inside me. It is not just to pacify me that I
say this. I feel good with myself, with the people around me, with the world.
It is not that I feel like a ‘sadhu’, nor like a ‘sanyasi’. It is not
that I feel like someone who has renounced the world, not escape from the
world. I am in the world and working with it, working it out, facing it with
understanding!
I had read a phrase…
“Spring waters coming through the rocks, flowing smoothly!”
…I feel like that!
Yogi! Yes a yogi kind of feeling, not a sanyasi, not an escapist. ‘Yoga’
is from ‘Yuj’ tat means in union/ to join with the supreme. I feel nearest to
such a state. I feel tolerant.
(He paused for a while…it was as if he was lost somewhere. On coming
back to and with us, he said…)
When I say yogi my imaginations take me to the Himalayas, cool
atmosphere, feeling cool from within…! (closing his eyes and smiling)
(Suddenly the serenity was gone and he said…)
I have frequency of stools after food!
I feel everyone should take this remedy, everyone will than behave
nicely, so no hassles and life is good.
Thirst for cold water, 3 - 4 liters a day.
I feel like touching, patting children and giving them a nurturing touch
(to my nephews and nieces) I feel I have something special than will help
others, that will make peace. I can relate well without shouting at them.
I got the remedy at the right time. I am able to live the philosophy
with ease, it is happening on its own. It is spiritual attitude like a yogi.
Not running away from life of a homemaker but in connection with the higher
self, the Supreme Being at the same time! (With raised eyebrows and a smile on
his face!)
I have sexual urges, the needs and I don’t want to go wrong and having
them is not wrong. Finding a balance between living with the needs of being a
human being at the physical level and at the spiritual level. Before the
proving I did not want to get married because of the previous disappointment
and I had suppressed myself although I knew the needs were there. Now I feel
free. I have freed myself. I can accept myself and move ahead trusting the ways
of the Supreme Being. And now I agreed to get into marriage. I am ready for a
moving. I was stuck with one thing for the whole life I am freeing myself. I am
open now without any conflict. Now I feel I will be able to work towards
another relationship!
This conflict of sexuality and spirituality is not there. There is now
harmony. I know who ever I will marry it will be good!
2nd MEETING
This guy, my friend a pure vegetarian (implying that he was not even
eating mutton, he would have never touched alcohol) was in love with girl from
a different community. She said a no for marriage. After this he got into
alcohol, smoking started eating non-vegetarian food, stopped laughing and was
ruining his life. I met him the other day and told him that …
“You cannot die for someone! She cannot marry you she has her own
reasons. Life has to go on. All relationships need not end in marriage. You
must free yourself!’ This friend was too much into it.
One cannot die for someone. ‘Your parents took care of you for 25 years.
When they will die, will you die for them?’ ‘You cannot die for someone, come
out of it, free yourself, you are not letting
yourself go, free your self.”
I have been freed. All this while I was not able to talk to my father,
not see him in his eyes. I used to feel irritated with him around. He is
perfect in his business. But now I can even fool around in front of him. I
don’t feel
that he will feel that I am putting on a show. Now I am cool.
Before the proving I wanted to ask my physician whether I can prove or
not? But later I felt how can the physician tell me how I feel from inside? Only
I know that I am feeling well or not! I kept the dose with me to feel whether I
feel well, whether I really want to take it or not? It was not indecisiveness,
but to feel whether it was the right time to prove this for me. And I felt just
right!
A friend offended me in the past and he came over. But I said nothing,
and behaved very much at ease and also made him feel at ease. This problem of
relationships and marriage are being solved, there are no conflicts, are eased.
The feelings in the conscious are not in conflict with the unconscious.
Yesterday we had planned to go out with my friends (before the proving).
I wanted to sit with booze the whole day (that is what we had planned). But
somehow all the friends had some work or the other. I had confidence that now I
won’t drink. I thought, “Oh, what a thought to drown oneself in booze” Instead
I took my cousin out for shopping. I felt very tired. I came home and slept for
2 hours. I felt the remedy is really helping me. It is like a friend close to
my head. I have a good feeling with it. It is not control; it is a feeling of
feeling just right. The feeling is that the higher intelligence, destiny, or
the Supreme wants it like this, whatever happened is right!
It is not that anything is going out of control but it was meant to be
like this.
I saw the poster of ‘Last Supper’ and I felt good. I always wanted the
poster. Jesus, Sai Baba are nice people connecting you to God, help people to
connect to God, although they are not God. I have this ‘Yogi’ feeling - you
harmonize the whole thing. No one feels ill in the company of these people.
I don’t know despite this feeling why I feel like smoke and alcohol?! I
think this is because of my past life, my past experiences. If this proving had
not happened I would have devastated my life because of this grief!
My brother, sisters don’t smoke, or booze. I used to feel don’t deny
yourself this. I used to dream bad after drinking but now I don’t dream badly.
This means that I have not been suppressing. I am being helped by this remedy
to find a way through the booze, smoke and the grief.
This control, embarrassment, low feeling, and guilt…I am free and away
from all of them! I have not suppressed it; in fact I am freeing others and
myself so that all is in harmony. I feel like reading the Baghwad Geeta and the
Upanishads, and yes when I read these days my mind does not wander anymore. I
can concentrate deep into words.
I feel like a ‘spiritual experience’ in this proving, like a yogi as I
told you before! It is like as if I am sitting on a mountain-the Himalayas,
with clear substance flowing around. I feel the substance is from the
Himalayas, a plant, it is from somewhere around that place.
I feel cool like how you feel when you are between mountains with water
flowing around over the rocks and you feel the cool water. I feel it is
something close to the Supreme and so I am feeling so close to the Supreme
Being.
I feel very nice.
I believe in Lord Krishna, and read a lot about him, his teachings. I
feel in connection with a Supreme who is soft, does not harm anyone, and gives
you strength, no arrogance. I don’t know how
to describe…
C: Can you close your eyes and imagine what and how it is? Do not think
and don’t judge or criticize what is coming up, just let it flow… (so he closes
his eyes to feel)
…(T)his Supreme is deep within me in myself, inside my soul. It is the
God within oneself. When I let myself flow I feel it is I, within me with no
physical form. It is close to me, this energy within me, inside of me. I feel
comfortable with me with the outside. I don’t fear what will happen if this
proving gets over? I feel confident. I feel like a spiritual person who can do
no wrong.
This time I went to vote normally I don’t vote. I felt I don’t want
wrong kind of people at a position. My vote counts so I voted. Everyone is
corrupt at least get someone who is the least!
3rd MEETING
This remedy makes me eat a lot. (Smiles)
After the last discussion I was working with the notes of the proving
and the word that came to my mind was ‘Bliss’. I feel blissful! Yes, that is
the feeling with this remedy, a heavenly feeling as if in close connection with
God and his ways!
I had dreams…
* I am searching for the car keys and could not find them. I feel if I
don’t find them things will go wrong.
* I see a wall and there is a big gap in the wall. I feel it must be
covered. But I decide to have grills instead so that it gives an open feeling.
I feel exhausted after singing. I started vocal singing lessons. After
the lessons I feel exhausted and feel like I want to sleep, sleep and sleep.
But than once I am awake I am up and about-refreshed.
Last week I had headache- splitting at 21 h., which was better by
holding the head tight from both the sides. I could not lie down, as I felt
uncomfortable. But after I slept I woke up well. In this night
I had a dream…
* I was going fast on my motorbike,
and at the signal there is a lot of traffic so I start to ride the bike on the
footpath on the sides. I see another fellow on the bike being caught doing like
this.
I saw this and I change my path and
escape.
I had another dream in the same night…
* We are standing at the railway
station and my cousin wants to get friendly to someone but I don’t feel like. My
cousin approaches someone but he puts him to floor as if assaulting him. I
don’t know what to do so I hit him with a stick in the head to save my cousin.
Than I see a train coming on the tracks and it dashes against a huge column
that splits into two. I leave this train. I take another one. In this train
there are some huge guys who are collecting money forcefully from others. I see
them and I decide that whatever happens I will not give them money. I won’t
yield to their pressure.
* I see a wedding card. It was my
wedding card. It was a big book and pompously done. I say no I want a simple
card.
* I see a man pinching
me and I bite into his ear. I feel his relatives are watching me.
I have started reading the Bhagwad Geeta. I feel free from the cares of
the world. I understand and accepting the facts of life. I feel clothes don’t
matter it is the inside of the person that matters. I wanted to be what I am,
not what the society wants me to be, being true to oneself, not selfish, not
against the society but being natural. Once you are true to yourself you are
true to the world.
I feel happy doing this proving . I can get over things easily. I am
back to normal but with a change for the better. Is it the Bael, or is it the
Rudraksh?
Yes normally I used to dream of running away from the police but now I
don’t! I don’t feel like booze and smoke too.
Rudraksha’s quintessence is best described in the words of this prover
as “I am in the world and working with it, working it out, facing it with
understanding! It is like “Spring waters coming through
the rocks, flowing smoothly!”. It is about uniting (Yuj) with the
Supreme within you!
© = cured symptom
Repertory:
Mind: Acceptance – of all/of destiny/of (past) life
events/traditions (woman should not work)
Anger violent ©
Anxiety (finishing of work ©/of others health/what others will think
©)/Fear of death ©
Arrange things in the house desires it
Assertive – of oneself/of one’s opinion
Attitude – spiritual/open without conflicts/with harmony in
life/everything is o.k./accepting everyone as they are/”As if nothing
affects/touches me”/true to oneself
Austerity (absent)
Blissful
Brooding ©
Bothered least feeling
Calmness
Clothes simple desire
Compulsions absent (to go outdoors/about austerity food)
Confidence increased (driving/swimming)
Conscientious
Cool feeling
Concentration active
Conflicts absent – between spiritual-sexual self/between
feelings-actions/between society pressures and own desires
Content
Courteous
Decisions making easy
Delusion - conflict/split spiritual and sexual side of oneself/conflict
unconscious and conscious self absent/consciousness in higher state/energy
special flowing in him/energy supreme within/life flowing in natural ease/
(supreme) connection with god/harmony with all/has hurt people/one with
oneself/is a saint/as if he is a yogi
Destiny ours in our hand is
Ease - in relationships/everything is ‘just right’/suppressing emotions
no more
Estranged - feeling ©/in company ©
Free - from embarrassment/from guilt/from low feeling
Flowing life seems
Give unwanted things away
Grudges absent past offences of
Heavenly feeling
Home desire to stay
Impatient about time
Impatience cannot wait for
(train, bus)
Indolence ©
Industrious
Indulgence alcohol in disappointment love from ©
Indulgence smoking in disappointment love from ©
Irritability ©
Laughing
Laziness ©
Love – for children (pat them)/nurture them
Memory weak (faces of people)
Music aversion to
Nervous ©
Offended easily
Positiveness (can take on anything)
Organized
Quiet desire
Read – desires to [religious scriptures desire to (Bhagwad Geeta)]/
Relaxed feeling
Religious scriptures read desire to (Bhagwad Geeta)
Responsibility conscious of
Restless ©
Rituals gave up
Simple dressing in
Sociable (with strangers)
Spiritual feelings
Sympathetic
Sulk ©
Tolerant/ce
Traditional desire to be
Understanding deep life of
Water/beach go to desire
Work desire to
Work capacity to increased
Write letters desire to
Yielding ©
Dreams: Air jump in (defying gravity)/air travel (U.S.
via Bangkok)/college campus/cousin bashed up/petrol pipe of bike is/death of
mother (must go on with life)/disease (lung abscess/retinitis
pigmentosa/vancouvers
Disease)/Driving a bike fast (ignoring a
signal)/earthquake/elephants/film stars/friend (sitting like a deer/enjoying
with/old/snatched being from me)/men (bullying/biting man in ear or
pinches)/merry go round/
people day met during the/police/searching car keys/sexual/station
railway/taxi driver leaving taxi/teacher reprimanding/train splitting pillar
after running into it/truck on terrace/unremembered/gap in wall/
water sea/river/wedding (card being pompous/desires simple card/round
about route taking to go to)
Head: pain occiput (21 h./<
sun/throbbing/splitting/holding tight/> sleep)
Hair – fall/brittle
Face: Eruption acne red, big painful
Pain cheeks
Nose: Colds
Itching in the night
Discharge thick yellow
Throat: Voice husky
Stomach: Nausea 13 - 19 h.
Rectum: Urge frequent after eating
Urge ineffectual
Female organs: Menses pain during ©
Menses profuse flow
Sleep: desire to
Perspiration: absent
Generalities: Desires: Alcohol/cold
water/Garlic/Spicy/Pickles/Sweets/Tobacco-smoking;
Exhaustion after singing
Vorwort/Suchen. Zeichen/Abkürzungen. Impressum.