Vergleich: Siehe: Fossilien + Gestein + Aqua pluvia
[Mary English]
The Homeopathic Proving of 'Calculus Orbis'
from Stanton Drew Stone Circle
Stanton Drew Stone Circle is about 6 miles south of Bristol.
This proving was made from small fragments of stone from 3 of the great
circle stones and was potentised and produced at Ainsworths Homeopathic Pharmacy by Jon Lee.
(From the Great Circle)
Stanton Drew Stone Circle stands in a field south of Bristol, in the
village of the same name, in Somerset. It isn't as popular, or as visited as Avebury or Stonehenge.
It doesn't have a tourist-shop or somewhere to buy a souvenir or a
cream-tea and consequently isn't covered in litter, which is nice. There is an
honesty-box on the gate leading in and the stones are owned by English Heritage
but the land is privately owned.
It's possible to visit the stones and never see another human being (!!)
and the most I've ever seen there when I've visited is two other couples. The
grass is cut regularly and sometimes cows but mostly sheep graze there and
scratch themselves on some of the larger stones, leaving little clumps of wool
on the stones.
There are three circles. A small one behind a fence on another plot of
land to the right of the big circle.
The Great Circle comprises of 27 stones and is over 370 feet across,
making it one of the biggest megalithic rings except for Avebury
and there is another circle at the bottom of the field with the largest stones.
There is a story that revolves around a wedding party where the
guests/musicians were dancing on Sabbath, and the devil turned them to stone.
But these sorts of stories lie with a lot of circles and add to their mystique.
Personally I feel it detracts from the true nature of stone circles, as
I see them as meeting places, not somewhere where devils lie.
In a Stone-Age society, stone was the most important medium. It was used
for making knives and spears. Stone was also worshipped, as there is some
suggestion that, for them, it represented eternity i.e. this stone will be
here.................forever.
Well, as it is, these stones have stood here for an awfully long time.
For at least 4500 years. According to The Oxford Dictionary of Current English
a generation is 30 years (the average time in which children are ready to take
the place of parents), that's 150 generations of people that have existed since
they were first placed there. And they are still there.
The suggestion is, the circles weren't built to be circles but as places
for the 'community' to do whatever that community does.
As Mike Pitts says "We have been blinded by monumentality. In
Europe medieval churches and cathedrals impress us with their mass, their
architectural power and their permanence. Yet we forget that when they were
built, they were not treasured antiques, but centres
of vision and activity; of music , singing, chanting, speech; of ceremonies,
from inductions of bishops to the burial of kings; of the largest gatherings of
people ever seen in their districts................the possibility that some
ceremonies demanded altered states of mind, a symbolic but definitely not
scientific interest in the sun and moon, and the recurrent presence of human
remains-we need to think not only of such things,
but also of the living people themselves, their thoughts and their
actions".
In some ways, this proving released not only the energy of the stones
themselves, but also what may have happened in this stone circle. People met,
traded, made friends, maybe even got married, looked at the stars, moon or sun,
made vows, had fun, discussed things...................we don't know but the
words of the provers give us an insight into what may
have gone on there. There is also the consideration, that these aren't ordinary
stones, they were moved and will they have a memory of that movement?
My older sister, Lucy, first introduced me to Stanton Drew Stone Circle
when I moved to Bath from London. It lies in a large field occupied by sheep
and overlooks an expanse of green, with hills in the distance and a river just
below the last few stones. I am, I admit, a Stone Circle fan, but I am no
expert.
At some point in the year 2000, I decided to make a remedy from the
stones, having just completed my first proving 'Tempesta'
, the storm remedy. Some time in the summer
I took some small shards of loose stone from 3 of the stones and it
wasn't until the Autumn of that year, that I got round to sending them to John
Lee at Ainsworths to be made into a remedy. We
discussed the best way to make the remedy and decided that soaking overnight in
alcohol would be the best option as I wanted to return the samples I had taken,
back to their 'home'.
On the morning of 13th November 2000, John made the remedy
and posted me a 7g bottle of 6c potency. Over the next few years, I tried a
few, gave a few away to clients, gave some to a 'Tempesta'
prover who kindly kept a record (which mysteriously
fits in with the provers symptoms?) and there the
bottle sat, on my remedy shelf, in my office, until 2004 when I decided, now
was the time, to finally get round to doing the proving and releasing the
energies of the remedy. Little did I know, until completing the proving, the I
was already being influenced by the remedy's energies. It took over 3 years for
me to 'get the strength' to organise the proving. It
seems an equally long time for me to finally sit at the PC and write this up.
There is no 'rush' in this remedy, no 'need for speed'.
The provers began their journals on Monday
26th January and on Monday, February the 2nd 2004 they all took the remedy at 9
h. (except one who forgot and took it the next day and one who took it at 21
h.). They continued with their journals until Sunday 29th February
when they all anti-doted the remedy with one dose of Sulphur
6c. (except one prover who'd so enjoyed the positive
effects of the remedy, she decided to have another dose to keep!)
N.B. Prover number 12 took the remedy over 4
consecutive days in a 2 week period in 2001 and took more than 3 months to
actually send me her notes!
During the month of the proving, of the 12 provers,
one visited Avebury, 4 visited Stanton Drew Stone
Circle itself and one dreamt of Salisbury Plain (where Stonehenge lies). No-one
knew what they had taken!
Note from English Heritage. "It
is an offense to cause any damage to a scheduled monument without consent under
the 1979 Ancient Monuments and Archaelogical Areas
Act". English Heritage
Stanton Drew Stone Circle stands in a field south of Bristol, in the
village of the same name, in Somerset. It isn't as popular, or as visited as Avebury or Stonehenge. It doesn't have a tourist-shop or
somewhere to buy a souvenir or a cream-tea and consequently isn't covered in
litter, which is nice. There is an honesty-box on the gate leading in and the
stones are owned by English Heritage but the land is privately owned.
It's possible to visit the stones and never see another human being (!!)
and the most I've ever seen there when I've visited is two other couples. The
grass is cut regularly and sometimes cows but mostly sheep graze there and
scratch themselves on some of the larger stones, leaving little clumps of wool
on the stones.
In some ways, this proving released not only the energy of the stones
themselves, but also what may have happened in this stone circle. People met,
traded, made friends, maybe even got married, looked at the stars or the moon
or the sun, made vows, had fun, discussed things...................we don't
know but the words of the provers give us an insight
into what may have gone on there. There is also the consideration, that these
aren't ordinary stones, they were moved and will they have a memory of that
movement?
"Want to go somewhere where there is no pressure, no hassle, no boundaries,
no upset people, no hate or anxiety, just want to feel free in the sun, or the
wind or the rain, or
all of them."
Themes of Stanton Drew Stone Circle
This remedy affected the provers to a big
degree, they were tired, with low energy, heavy, the opposite of light-headed
and energised and they felt better in company or
groups. They felt better in natural places, energised
in nature, they wanted to connect with nature. They wanted to eat comfort foods
but were concerned about what they
ate. One prover wrote "Eaten reasonably
healthily but feel like a huge bloated pig, haven’t shifted the weight I've put
on since taking the tablet, I'm aware that it could just have been an excuse to
eat loads", when 3 days before she wrote "Lost 1/2 stone last night,
my weight fluctuates really drastically so I'm not worried but it shows that
you can shift it by dancing and not eating everything you see!"
All the provers had some sort of emotional
'issue' that got brought up. They dealt with it by 'speaking their truth', ate
loads of carbs to get the energy for this but still
ended up exhausted,
BECAUSE OF THE EMOTIONAL INTENSITY OF THE ISSUE.
This got released by the 'truth speaking' and also in 'watery dreams',
then they managed to 'move on'.
On the mental level there was the theme of knowing what they wanted but
being prevented from having it/enjoying it by an outside force. This went as
far as a prover dreaming about this and he summarises beautifully this very idea:
Prover 7:
Day 8: 'P and I are sitting in our house with sunlight streaming in
through the back door - summer day, country garden. Some bloke filming comes in
the back door and comes across to where we are sitting and starts filming our
view. This really pisses me off. P has raised her voice - can't work out if she
is angry or trying to warn me to be calm.
After trying to understand what is going on I punch the guy in the face
- should have knocked anyone flying but he doesn't move. He is carrying a big
TV on a strap and is using an LCD projector to film??!!? After some time -
closing recall - I ask the guy to go and he does. He's not bothered by me
hitting him. Feel a bit stupid for attacking
this guy, but justified as he interrupted our idyllic scene.'
Day 3: " Seem to be in some bizarre episode of Angel & I'm
Spike. We go stamping across a muddy field to some ramshackle wooden hut inside
is some poor attempt at a magic circle, it's only two feet across and wonky.
Inside are two knives- OK we have found the talismans of thingamybob-they
look like cheap cutlery. I pick one up, "That's this spell/ritual put to
an end.", I'll just break this and it's job done. Someone in the group is
shouting @ me not to break it, very agitated person. The witch (????)
appears-great big ugly biffa of a woman-time to leg
it. We all go running down a mud track chased by this woman (wild grey hair).
Me with the talisman/knife in my hand until we start to run into what looks
like a travellers camp, confused-waking up now."
Prover 5
Day 8: Can't find a home, car, change my job, no change since 1 year
even though everything I do is changing, I am really struggling.
Prover 4
Day 15: Realise got to sort other issues out
re; flat with solicitor, getting stressed. All day been juggling work with
personal issues, work, Dad, flat, solicitors, etc etc
all too much!
Tired, Low energy, Heavy.
Prover 12
Day 2: Lazy day didn't do or think about much napped in the
afternoon.............Had an early night.
Day 3: Felt tired achy, had a nap.
Day 4: Overslept woke up feeling woozy and disorientated.
Prover 3:
Day 6: Don't feel like doing anything today, just want to curl up &
be miserable & read silly novels.
Day 12: Could not get out of bed!
Day 14: Woke up late 10am..........Bed at 10pm.
Day 15: Struggled out of bed.
Day 17: Struggled out of bed................Exhausted when I got home
& in bed by 9.30pm.
Day 22: Great difficulty getting up at 7.30am.Ran out of energy about
2.45pm & went to bed!
Prover 11
Day 1: Took tablet & fell asleep again.
Day 7: I'm happy to be in my bed, watching TV and not talking to anyone!
Have still got sweet cravings and feel quite lethargic.
Day 11: ......Phoned in sick to work cos I
just need to be at home doing nothing for nobody but me.
Day 12: Found it really hard to get up today, it took me ages to want to
go to sleep, when I did it was heavy & un-interrupted.
Day 14:.......11.30am .All I want to do really is lie in bed & eat
pizza.......10.30pm......Can't be arsed.
Day 15: 1.45am It's strange that the thought of this book repels me.
I've had an awful day and can't be arsed to tell you
why.
Day 18:Woke up feeling totally exhausted.
Day 24: Writing a journal has become quite hard to keep up with.
Day 26: Very tired almost falling asleep on clients.
Prover 2
Day 2: Woke up exhausted and did not want to get out of bed, this
tiredness and aching in my body stayed with me all day.
Day 10:Really tired went for acupuncture had to go asleep in pm having
severe diarrhoea as well and don't feel too well very
shaky and weak.
Day 14: ......I feel so tired it is untrue and had to go to bed in pm
which I don't usually do.
Day 16; Headache & tired on waking.
Day 22: Exhausted again had no energy so went to bed for most of today.
Prover 9
Day 8: Woke early so feeling weary.
Day 9:Wrecked & very weary this morning.
Day 10: With great intent after breakfast of dealing with and sorting
out many things-after a period of prayer-fell asleep again!!
Day 12: Slept well but still feel tired.
Day 18: Slept well but still feel very weary.
Day 19: Weary, weary, this morning.
Day 21:Felt groggy & tired when woke up.
Day 22:Have slept rather late.
Day 28:Stayed in bed longer than usual for many reasons-very busy all
day on Saturday and it was warmer in bed!!
Prover 8
Day 3: After 4 hours sleep when to the gym tried to catch up in sleep at
4pm which was no go, still active, probably overtired
Day 15: Good sleep. Feel floppy this morning, like I could stay in bed
longer.
Prover 5
Day 1: Very deep sleep.
Day 2: Slept very deeply.
Day 3:Very tired today.
Day 8: No dreams-heavy deep sleep.
Day 16: Slept in afternoon-couldn’t be bothered to do much else.
Day 17: Heavy deep sleep. Now I can do more with my day can't be
bothered.
Day 19: Hard getting up. Feel exhausted.
Day 20: Couldn't get up, really lethargic. Heavy sleep.
Day 22: Couldn't be bothered to get out of bed today. Really lethargic
wanted to do nothing. Really irritating thing is knowing I'm not really tired
and all I want is to be working , get my teeth stuck into a project, I have so
much energy to give out, I'm wasting it feeling I can't be bothered.
Day 27: Just felt couldn't be arsed later on
in the day.
Prover 7
Day 6: Bored-can't afford to do anything cool. Get a video out.
Day 7: Can't be arsed to do anything really.
Watch TV.
Day 10: Up late-feeling apathetic. Write 3 days worth of journal-my
keenness to write this is waning.
Day 11: Up late, not time for yoga today.
Day 12: Bored-run out of enthusiasm for getting documents produced -
shall play Solitaire instead to pass the time. Need to phone people, not
getting round to it.
Prover 4
Day 1:........ also came to take my pill this morning only to realise I have forgotten to bring it with me.
Day 13: OK, naughty girl, couldn't stand to go to work so called in
sick, needed another day off.
Day 17: Didn't want to get up, didn’t want to work.
Day 18: Slept very well, don't want to get out of bed.
Day 19: Very tired, fed up with everything. Went to bed at 7.30pm didn’t
wake up until 7am. Still tired!!
Day 20: Still really flat & tired, really didn't want to work today,
busy day.
Day 21: Very tired-day off & lazed about all day doing nothing, felt
guilty for this.
Day 25: Slept from 19.30 - 7 h.
Prover 6
Day 2: Slept like a log.
Day 4: Hard to wake up. Sleeping well.
Day 5: Slept well again- difficulty waking up properly.
Day 6: Early night-slept for 9 hours.
Day 13: 11 hours sleep.
Prover 8
Day 3: On some sort of campus, students had red uniforms, all ages. Very
large, more like a village, with shops, museums etc. My first day, being sent
on an errand to a shop to get marshmallow drink & a sack of coal. Trying to
get directions from the lady sending me ............I encountered some kids on
the way who treated me like an outsider (lack of uniform).
Day 7: "Flying again, teaching people how to fly, showing them what
is possible. I had a child with me this time, a small boy who I was carrying.
There were hundreds of people, lots of fields and attractions, like a theme
park. There was one show where the audience were seated, lots of Americans. The
presenter was introducing a pop idol, an ethnic man, who started to sing. The
audience had to write their date of Birth on a piece of paper & their
surname. It was a psychological mind bending trick. One of the Americans from
the stage came to me, he had the same surname & DOB, he kissed me."
Prover 11
Day 4:"Dreamt I was walking towards The Royal Crescent, there were
hundreds of people around so it must have been a festival".
Prover 5
Day 5:"Was on a kind of huge 'film' set the first bit was
children's house (then bit hazy) then me & friend walking down a hill, get
to bottom, sit down, guy on a bike cycles past & wants my friend to try
something. I sit in background then I go back to film set, and am at the wrong
one and wander off. everyone seems to be ready to shoot, all the people with
clipboards are in position. I ask the nearest guy where the children's place is
& I find it to be loads bigger an empty derelict house, the guy wants me to
plant trees outside the front door & then I fall backwards in mud, guy
helps me up & dusts me off."
Prover 1
Day 5: "Living in a community, new there. Lots of people attending
a meeting of all in a hall. I think P's there. As I'm new here there’s a lot of
protocol & tradition I've yet to learn. At one point everyone stands on
their chairs - in tribute to someone who has died-then join hands and raise
arms up-this takes me by surprise-my eyes are closed -and I overbalance and
have to step down to the floor, with a sharp intake of breath in my surprise.
People look at me and I feel like "the new girl", visible &
vulnerable. Later another big meeting, more formal, with a presentation. At the
front of the hall is a giant globe shape with universe & stars on. Again,
something about death-the grand finale of the leader. I walk to the front to
question and look for evidence, information.
Day 6: In a place with lots of friends a community. I'm feeling very
happy and empowered in myself.
Dancing, drinking lots of water, no alcohol. I'm single and free and
strong. Looking for a massage.
Day 12: "In a community again. Grass. I'm tall, I'm a leader
respected by the people, they come to me for advice & wise words."
Day 17: "A big community again, people together for a weekend
(something magic as a background agenda hidden) at a big centre. I'm there
alone and meet up with a few people I know loosely. I've got a tent and it's
pitched inside the house. I intend to spend one night at the beach but in the
end that doesn't happen because it gets late & dark............I've made my
stand of saying I'm going off on my own and in fact it's company I want and I'm
alone."
Day 20: "In a cornfield, waiting, witches"
Day 21 " At a massive party, outdoors, like a free party/festival
atmosphere."
Day 25: Working for a large company...............
Day 25: with a group, supervised by teachers. Outing on the tube.
Previous 2 days we've bought a ticket each, but today it's different, there's a
group ticket-but I'm not included. And I haven't got money to get my own
ticket. I'm calling out 'has anyone got a spare ticket', knowing there must be
one, but no-one responds even when I ask 3 times. I feel blocked, excluded from
the group- and it's fine as I can go my own way. (this is very different from
previous reaction when I've responded badly to being or feeling excluded or
rejected.....interesting.)
Groups
Prover 7
Day 4: Feel very chilled after yoga & get some chocs
as a peace offering.
Prover 12
Day 1: Went to the Healing show (working on a stand). Met lots of people
I haven't seen in ages and had some interesting chats with people via the
stand.
Prover 6
Day -1: Camp is brilliant-thoroughly at ease and centred.
Day 1: Took remedy at 9.03. Very significant dream about "the
past" which linked very powerfully with the Imbolc
dawn ceremony. Synchronise links with elemental water
ritual at Yale. Talked to camp members to 'debrief' and , hopefully,
understand. Amazing dance workshop renewed energy and allowed me to physically
experience the re-birth of hope, intentions and well-being.
Day 2: Returning home today and back to work for 4.30. Felt centred and calm, but sad to be leaving camp. However, I
won't miss the mud.
Prover 8
Day 5: However, I did teach a good yoga class which changed a young
ladies life (her first yoga experience/class) she was deeply moved on all
levels. Makes it all worthwhile.
Day 11: Better post yoga.
Prover 11
Day 21: Woke in high spirits, again had been out last night & no
hangover.
Day 23: Out for surprise party tonight-with lots of very good friends,
really looking forward to it.
Day 25: Day was good but my mood is so flat, I want to laugh more. Had
P, P & P over for dinner, lovely company, lovely food & managed to laugh
as much as we could. I'm so unusually tired all the time, although I'm calmer,
I could do without the obsessive eating and exhaustion.
Prover 2
Day 13: I was so high at the football, I thoroughly enjoyed it got right
behind my team it was amazing match which I really felt alive which I always do
but this was something special.
Day 20: Excited about going into college had a good day where I was able
to speak my truth in group's. Felt tired at the end of it though which is not
really surprising as I have given a lot.
Nature
Prover 11
Day 7: "Felt the need to get out into nature, I could feel my palms
getting itchy and my heart thumping, need to feel free & need to feel real
energy. I'm sitting in the garden for the blind in Henrietta Park and just
listening to the birds & the water running from the fountain, I heard the
gate open so I looked up and it's someone I know, a friend of one of my ex
boyfriends, he's nice but I just don't want to talk to anyone, it's typical of
life (in a good way) to show you that even when you make a choice to go
somewhere you hope not to see anyone you still do. It's beautiful & I've
just realised how much all I need to do is go out
into nature to feel better, it's not all about working, eating & sleeping.
Hurrah there are amazing things in life."
Prover 5
Day 3: I drove up Solsbury Hill and found a
tree & it felt like an enormous hug in a bottle. I feel totally energised.
Day 4: So next mission a friend mentioned earlier about National Trust
Working Holidays. So, right, found it on the internet where you can spend 1-10
days re-planting trees, conservation, nature, no experience-pay for food &
lodging & meet loads of people-spotted a great one for March, so syncronicity today.
Day 5: A thought popped in my head: one of those that you can see
unfolding infront of you visually, talking about the
patterns of people in relevance with nature. That some people have lots of
different jobs & struggles to create their dream job & some people
study medicine at 18 and are doctors all their lives consistent. And if you
look at the latter people it's important we have people like this to give the
earth an anchoring-relate this to the tree: They are the trunk of the tree and
those that have lots of different jobs etc. are the branches and together we
all create a stable structure and co-exist together. Umm harder to explain on
paper.
Day 6: Woke up today, thinking I'd like to go to Westonbirt
Arboretum and P rings to meet up and suggests the same. In my element, felt
quite heavy in some places and started getting hot flushes. I think I was
bitten by some insect. Could tell the difference between heavy & lightness
of different areas of trees. Leant against a few trees too. Absolutely
knackered afterwards.
Tree at Stanton Drew
Prover 7
Day: 7
OFF OUT- wander round the woods, calm & peaceful. Found a nice piece
of Beech, will try and make a staff for P.
Prover 4
Day 6: Had a fantastic day today-had a long walk in Westonbirt
Arboretum-where I experienced light headiness & felt quite giddy. Day 12:
Anyway had a lovely walk in Avebury which was P's
idea, it was lovely, just to get some air & see the stones. While I was
walking along the bit where the stones act as a sort of passage-way to the
circles, I felt quite heavy & enclosed until I got to the circles & out
of the passage way through a gateway between two stones: one called Devil's
Gate but overall I felt light headed & energised.
This is until I left there when I felt totally wiped out. Day 13: Feels good to
get out in the fresh air.
Prover 2 Day 6:Felt very good today very
connected. Knew exactly what I needed for me today, a walk in the country then
being with friends again felt connected and accepting of self/others and
situations. Eating good earthy food and enjoying the company of others. Feel
confident and pleased with myself that I can go into any situation and be me.
Prover 10 Day 27: Was led to a wood today,
completely by synchronicity. I have been looking to purchase some woodland to
create a natural training centre, this place was perfect.
Prover 12
Day 1: Feel better once outside.
Emotional Issues & Anger
I have used one example of how this prover
wrestled with an internal conflict with her job, her boyfriend and her recently
deceased Mother. She didn't express it verbally, resulting in it trying to
'burst out' by passing wind and so she dealt with it in her dreams until she
went to her Mother's grave and wept........ this relieved the 'tummy troubles'.
The other provers dealt with issues of ill
parents, death of grandfather, ending a relationship, beginning a relationship,
very ill stepfather and abuse from mother as a child.
Prover 3 Day 1: Felt angry stressed
immediately when I heard my boss was on the phone. How I felt yesterday too.
...............carried on feeling pissed off-if this my workload or the remedy?
Day 2: Once again it's not taking much to make me feel furious. Is this
PMT?
Day 4: Busy day at work. Still liable to fly off the handle at the
slightest stress!
Day 6: Woke up feeling sad, insecure & teary. My boyfriend asked me
not to call him my pet name for him anymore. Rather surprised, but fair enough,
it's rather small making.
Day 10: Feeling like everyone is pissing me off at the moment-that I
really don't suffer fools gladly. Worried I'm turning back into the angriest
woman in the world.
Day 13: So went from confrontational to all emotional (actually that
happened before when I was writing his Valentine) & teary & just SO SAD
& HOPELESS.
God, this is like nightmare PMT. Decided I was being rather extreme &
it was probably the remedy.
Day 15: Am getting rather tired of being all over the place mentally
& emotionally.
Day 18: Have been doing appalling sulphurous
farts for the last 3 days. Is this the remedy? Or is it all the pasta &
bread I've eaten?
Day 20: Boyfriend unexpectedly came round. Delighted. He was tickling me
& I got hysterical (laugh, cry, laugh ) -felt like there was a huge burst
of emotion just bursting
to get out. He looked rather amazed,
so I stopped it.
Day 24: Dreamt about children drowning in a river, as they were playing
on the back of a huge boat dumping a load of wood. Three of them & nobody
seemed to care.........and also me swimming up a cold river (possibly the
Thames in Oxford) underwater & doing really well at it.
Day 25: Terrible tummy trouble-windy, dried out stools, grindy feelings.
Day 26: Got very angry when boyfriend said he was too ill to come to
Sussex for my nephews christening. Told him I was disappointed, most
emphatically & drove to Sussex planning on not speaking to him for days.
Stopped off to see my Mum's grave & the new headstone & promptly burst
into tears & felt terribly sad & missing her for the rest of the
journey. Then had masses of casserole for dinner & tummy felt the best it's
been in days!
Day 27: Talked to my aunt about retraining as a plumber. Coming up to 3
years in my job & not sure if I've had enough or not, but looking at my
life I may be at another time to move on. Don't want to be tied to one job in
one office. Here I am , no kids, no mortgage & feeling like I'm being
selfish & not giving enough back to this poor planet which we're killing.
Want a job that I can earn but practice it anywhere-plumbing would be good.
Aware that I maybe 'settling' for a nice life instead of taking risks &
going for what I really want. Fear stops me. Nephew's christening-fab day, felt very comfy in my new (second hand ) right colour clothes. Laughed myself silly playing Cranium.
Comfort Foods
Prover 11
Day 2: Eaten thin lentil soup & cheese on toast.
Day 4: ....It's a comfort thing I think ? Well anyway in short I’ve
stuffed my face.
Day 6: I've craved sweet things today and have eaten them too.
Prover 7
Day 9: Have dahl for dinner - P makes a wicked
dahl.
Day 23: After several weeks of keeping a journal it is obvious (I knew
this anyway) that I'm terrible with food. I try & eat healthily (most meals
are) avoid processed food as much as possible, use fresh ingredients, don't
drink much, only smoke dope occasionally - but I always seem to fill up the
gaps (unnecessarily???) with sugary junk.
Prover 2
Day 6: Eating good earthy food and enjoying the company of others.
Prover 4
Day 12: Had a lot of chocolate cravings today. Need SWEET STUFF!!! Day
19: Want to lose weight but find I'm eating more.
Day 21: Can't stop eating now getting very worried about weight, feel I
need help to control this (sweet stodge, carbs etc) feel very depressed.
Day 24: Soon as I got home ate, felt ravenous, always feeling hungry,
craved sweet things , honey, chocolate soon as I eat this I feel guilty &
depressed. Feels like vicious circle.
Day 25: Dream " ......found a locked doorway and went in, I found a
Black shop keeper in a pristine food store all intact, he smiled and gave me a
chocolate milkshake, I said thank you & went back to family. My Mum found
me coming out & I gave her the rest of the milkshake. I tried to lock the
door again to save the man & shop being looted but the door wouldn't lock
& kept falling open."
Communication & truth speaking
Prover 3
Day 9 ...........and I felt very pleased with myself, for once I'd stuck
to my boundaries & done it nicely.
Day 12: Humdinger of a conversation with P re-taking holiday in May-told
her if she did I'd have to do all the work & would be really pissed off. It
got very heated but we sorted it out.
Prover 1
Day 14:"Interview with R (head of school) re my project - I
expected to be nervous (or would have been a few months ago)- and I went in,
sat, occupied my space, said my bit clearly & confidently, it was well
received."
Prover 8
Day 1: Communication flowed easier in places today.
Day 6: ....Proud because I was true to myself last night & came
home, speaking my truth, something I would have found harder in the past. Well
done!
Day 7: In some ways my communication has been easier, more able to say
how I feel, in other ways more aware of when I could be more expressive.
Day 8:.......feeling more able to speak my truth & being given the
opportunity to do it.
Day 9: Another good day for COMMUNICATION.
Day 12: ...probably will provide another opportunity to express myself
in ways I usually suppress, God help them!
Day 13: Another opportunity to express myself/ I embraced the
opportunity to vocalise my anger.
Watery dreams, themes
Prover 1
Day 10: Walking along the river path on my way home, walking with P
who's going same way same time, having an open conversation.
Day 13: I notice that I've been spilling liquids in the last few
days-water, tea- at home and now here at Poulstone. P
my friend here-says that speaks of leaking emotions & power. My 1st thought
was that I am overflowing!
Day 14: Boat on the sea-big ship. I'm involved in a plot, a game-like a
fantasy action/sci fi
movie. High stakes.
Day 14: Showering with P in a big bathroom, blue tiles, plants, puddles
of water on the floor everywhere. Twice we shower together/same time. Then a
3rd time we take turns-distance created (why?) like a shyness introduced.
Day 20: In New York, alone amongst loads of people, looking for The
Empire State Building. I seem to be on holiday while others are working. It's
the end of the day, people spilling out of the offices. I'm going in the lift
to go to the top of the tower-going in the opposite direction to the crowds,
against the flow (like leaning into the wind on the Tor yesterday)
Prover 10
Day 12: Travelling in a car that keeps falling into water, flooded
roads, backwards off a cliff into sea, and so on.
Day 13: Water dreams again , spilling into electrical equipment and
causing fires.
Day 20 Dreams of being on an old clipper ship, several hundred years
ago. We were sailing along the canal in London, huge waves as high as houses, I
could see the waves coming towards us and was a little scared, but very
excited.
Day 23 More watery dreams but cannot remember details.
Day 24: Even more watery dreams, this time could feel the water washing
over me.
Prover 9
Day 26: Had a dream-cannot easily remember facts-something to do with a
group of peoples(None recognisable) and feeling dirty
and needed to wash or clean myself.
Prover 7
Day 13: Dream " Was in Futurama Cartoon
in massive house with Bender (Robot) & Fry (Idiot). Am in tiny bedroom
arguing with Fry, we both want to get to the bathroom-dying to go. Bender runs
across the landing & locks himself in the bathroom, laughing. Desperate to
go now, see a metal waste paper bin, can use that although it’s a bit small.
Fry is trying to get to bin too, "Get the f*** out of it,
I saw it first & stop trying to move it or I'll end up peeing on the
floor." Woke up - did not need to use bathroom."
Rainwater detail
Prover 8
Day 10: P , large fish in bag (alive) playing pool..........P took out
two very large goldfish (the size of a good trout) they were in see through
bags, in water, very much alive. He started spinning in a circle with a bag in
each hand, everyone thought the bags would burst & the fish fly out &
splat to the walls. He let go of the bags, they went sliding into the kitchen.
The fish were on a slab jumping, very distressed. There were fish prepared for
cooking on the side too, all very cruel.
Day 21: I was some sort of James Bond guy. I had information they
wanted, lots of them chasing me & I was ruthless with them. They stole my
pushbike, which I stole back. I was riding into town,......when I got to town,
torrential rain came.
Day 25: Poem
'Faint words, distant ships, unknown shores, Hairy men paying overweight
whores, Sunshine breaks and guided tours, Cobbled alleys, gas lamps &
pimps, Lobster & crayfish, eels & shrimps,
The waters of life.
Prover 11
Day 2: I did dream quite a lot last night-again it was really quite
stormy & windy. I remember struggling to get a car together to help people
move away from the house that had become unsafe to be in 'cos
of the weather.
Day 5: I was climbing up a huge water tower with no supports or
anything, underneath me was a huge gushing river with the rest of my 'team'
down there, it became clear that I had to collect these enormous fat rubbery
worm/maggot things from the top of the water tank, they were bright light blue
& really clammy. As I had nothing to hold me up there it had to be a rush
job 'cos I'd fall down soon, these creatures were
stuck on to the tank & were really, really hard to pull off, so it was very
stressful, I was soaked right through, very scared and disgusted at these
things. They began to come free & I just let them fall down to my team to
collect, when done I dropped myself from the tank, & could feel myself
falling but didn't land........
Prover 4
Day 3
"Strange dream last night.......I was in a town centre and there
were a few birds overhead and I was dodging their bird droppings. Then the bird
droppings got worse like torrential rain & I was sheltering and running
from shelter to shelter, I didn't get any on me and I bumped into a person who
I think was a man, who helped me, shelter from it???".
Day 24
Out side looking up at the stars then the stars turned into Egyptian
Pharaohs and lined up, when they did the world experienced a terrible
holocaust, wind, fire, it was terrible. Everyone running, I was a mother &
then a child looking after a cat. We had a house which was falling down as
everyone was panic, there was no water. In the house was the child & with
my cat I found a locked doorway and went in...
Prover 2
Day 18:
"Dreamt of a huge big and black mansion in medieval times on a lake
with fires burning, really cool dream which has stayed with me this image of
the darkness. I would imagine a dragon to fly past.
My best dream in ages."
Prover 3
Day 14:
Woken up by car at 1.45 h. from dream about crossing vast, wet boggy
tundra-like (except with long grass) wasteland, on some kind of shamanic
course. Was fab.
Though when I woke up-why am I just settling for a safe life of safe job
& house while I watch P & P taking risks & going for their dreams
& making then come true.
Cats woke me at 2.40 h.-dreaming about being on holiday & in boat
crossing beautiful clear sea water that the next minute was absolutely full of
huge esturine crocodiles-scary but didn't fall in.
Allerlei: The 17th century
antiquarian John Aubrey recorded a local legend: the Stanton Drew stones were
the remnants of a wedding party which was turned into stone because they danced
into the Sabbath! The stones of The Cove were said to be the parson, the bride
and the bridegroom; those of the avenues were the fiddlers.
The name 'Stanton' means 'homestead of the stones' and 'Drew' is the
surname of a family who lived here in the 13th century.
Stones made out of Triassic Dolomitic Conglomerate with varying degrees of silicification.
Vorwort/Suchen Zeichen/Abkürzungen Impressum