Vergleich: Siehe: Lanthaniden + Prometheus
Visionen/überlegt Konsequenzen/Teamarbeit + Unabhängigkeit
Brings gifts/der Vorausdenker/Foresight
[Jason-Aeric Huenecke/Lori Foley]
Promethium, originally prometheum, is a chemical element with the symbol Pm and atomic number 61.
All of its isotopes are radioactive; it is one of only two such elements that are followed in the periodic table by elements with stable forms, a distinction shared with technetium. Chemically, promethium is a lanthanide, which forms salts when combined with other elements. Promethium shows only one stable oxidation state of +3.
In 1902, Bohuslav Brauner suggested there was an element with properties intermediate between those of the known elements neodymium (60) and samarium (62); this was confirmed in 1914 by Henry Moseley who, having measured the atomic numbers of all the elements then known, found there was no element with atomic number 61.
In 1926, an Italian and an American group claimed to have isolated a sample of element 61; both "discoveries" were soon proven to be false. In 1938, during a nuclear
experiment conducted at Ohio State University, a few radioactive nuclides were produced that certainly were not radioisotopes of neodymium or samarium, but there was
a lack of chemical proof that element 61 was produced, and the discovery was not generally recognized. Promethium was first produced and characterized at Oak Ridge National Laboratory in 1945 by the separation and analysis of the fission products of uranium fuel irradiated in a graphite reactor. The discoverers proposed the name "prometheum"
(the spelling was subsequently changed), derived from Prometheus, the Titan in Greek mythology who stole fire from Mount Olympus and brought it down to humans, to
symbolize "both the daring and the possible misuse of mankind's intellect." However, a sample of the metal was made only in 1963.
Since natural promethium is exceedingly scarce, the element is typically synthesized by bombarding enriched uranium with thermal neutrons to produce promethium-147.
Slats of Promethium have a green-yellow color, the air surrounding Promethium is pale blue-green. There is a strange star HR465 in the Andromeda galaxy that contains a
lot of Promethium.
Most promethium is used only for research purposes, except for promethium-147, which can be found outside laboratories. This isotope does not emit gamma rays, and its
radiation has a relatively small penetration depth in matter and a relatively long half-life. Promethium is used in pacemakers. Some signal lights use a luminous paint,
containing a phosphor that absorbs the beta radiation emitted by promethium-147 and emits light. This is used in situations when dependable operation is needed.
In atomic batteries, the beta particles emitted by promethium-147 are converted into electric current by sandwiching a small Pm source between two semiconductor plates.
These batteries have a useful lifetime of about five years. Promethium is also used to measure the thickness of materials by evaluating the amount of radiation from a
promethium source that passes through the sample. It has possible future uses in portable X-ray sources, and as auxiliary heat or power sources for space probes and satellites.
According to Jan Scholten’s book “The Secret Lanthanides” he says: Promethium can be seen as a contradiction in itself. The Lanthanide aspect is completely individual,
whereas the Stage 7 aspect is of working together. This kind of duality can also be seen in Technetium, which was also originally non-existent on earth.
Helping with independence
They want to help other people to be free and independent. They help them to be strong, someone who is in control of themselves. They help other people to take their life
into their own hands, to be something special, not ordinary.
Cooperation in autonomy
They like to work together with people who are also autonomous. They feel autonomy is indispensable for real cooperation. They know that dependence only leads to obedience instead of cooperation.
Learning to be free
They can even seek many different situations to try themselves out and to expand their independence.
Teaching the inner world: Humanity
The combination of cooperation and autonomy is very human. Man is given freedom but he doesn’t have to be alone in that. Cooperation can even add to freedom and independence.
Humanity has created culture, art and sciences
through cooperation and freedom, the freedom to think and go where the mind leads us. Dictatorship has always been the biggest enemy of cultural flowering.
They want to teach others to be independent. Because of this they also want to master their inner world. They can become therapists or teachers, helping others to become independent. Fire or light is symbolic for seeing and insight. Prometheus was helping mankind by bringing them light.
Promethium in Column 7 in representative of: The structure is adequate in normal conditions but it needs support in tough conditions. One doesn’t need to prove anymore.
There is a need of refining, improving, reinforcing, bolstering and fine-tuning.
The essence of Promethium muriaticum is captured in the Myth of Prometheu
Basically, Prometheus decides to defy the Gods who have kept the use of fire for themselves, and deliver fire to the humans. As a penalty for this magnanimous act, Prometheus is chained to a rock and his liver is eaten by an eagle every day. Within this remedy you find both humility and superiority. The superiority of one who has the power to assist others combined with the humility of knowing they must only act for good and not for evil. In the end, their motivation will be for others, often finding themselves giving too much of themselves (as with Prometheus and his liver) in service to others. You can wrap this into the themes of the Gold series, in which Lanthanides are considered a part of, but with
Promethium muriaticum it goes further than just responsibility. It goes to an inherent choice that each of us have whether to walk towards the light or remain hidden in the dark.
And for them to walk into the light, they can only do this if they are bringing others into the light as well. To find healing in this area, they need to find a balance between giving and receiving and to learn to make their own journey without the responsibility for others on their shoulders.
This core dilemma is often represented by a battle. For them, this is a battle between good and evil or between the light and the dark. In their mind the evil side is very dark and
very evil. It represents injustice as well as harm to innocent victims. Archetypically this darkness is represented by most of the villains in the movies; villains who threaten to kill
innocent bystanders in order to get their way. This archetypal tale is re-told again and again in hero sagas; Star Wars, Superman, Batman, The Lord of the Rings
For Promethium, in this battle between the good and the dark forces, the dark forces represent the hidden potential, atomic power, within themselves. For them, they know they have a large potential inside of them, they are just unsure if they will succeed in their lofty aspirations. As far as acting, they know they will have to, this is inevitable for them.
If they hold back or hide, the energy within them builds up wanting to be released. There was a dream of an immature eagle, representing the noble aspirations of the eagle in an immature, unrealized state.
Another key aspect in this remedy is the desire for “Fore-thought” This aspect is also captured in the myth, Some call this column in the Periodic Table “control freaks.” From the point of view of this remedy, they view it as “information gathering.” In their mind, the repercussions of making a mistake are dire. They will wait until they can see the decision
clearly before they act. Here they can be stalled indefinitely waiting to “know.” This information gathering can become anticipatory anxiety and a mind full of cares and worries. They can become doubtful and confused. Inside, they know, but the world around them makes them confused and they will fail to act. For them, clarity is very important.
They will desire at upmost to see things clearly.
Promethium is a radioactive element. Therefore, we see a deep issue with instability. To compensate for this they will “contain” their power or energy in the hopes that it will
not escape and become too large or too difficult to manage. This is similar to the idea of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, who thinks he can manage this magical energy, but it soon
gets out of hand once it is unleashed. It might be similar to Carcinosin trying to control the chaos. For Promethium the chaos is really about disintegration. To prevent this they
need to hold tightly to things. This is another nod to the idea of “control freaks.” While they can be carefree in a way, spontaneous things that might involve performance are
not a good idea. This can translate into a desire for order. With this internal chaos, they can easily feel overwhelmed. When this happens, they will get irritable and want to be
left alone. The solution for this is to just have one task taken off their list, then they will calm down. Another downfall of this situation is the fear of actually being too powerful. This is another inherent aspect that holds them back from being all that they can be.
Most lanthanides will have an aspect of hiding, and Promethium has this as well.
Because this mineral is found deep underground, this “deep” aspect is seen in the remedy. They are concerned with “deeper” issues, superficial topics don’t interest them as
much. There can also be “deep grief” associated, which does not come to the surface easily. They can also experience the sensation of “Heaviness” – similar to what you might
find in other heavy metals.
In they desire for clarity, they try to detach from situations so they can see more clearly. Being detached and distant is a difficulty for them as they also crave “deep” human interaction. In this detached state, they can be relatively calm in a situation that might otherwise be stressful. It is as if they are rising above and not engaged in the minutia of everyday life. They have this interesting perspective that life is a bit of a game. It’s as if they have inside information/knowledge. They are watching people and their earthly
sagas with a bit of detachment, They will be absent-minded and easily distracted. They can become easily unmotivated, complaisant and procrastinating. It is just sometimes
too monumental for them to act. At other times they can be very industrious and creative when they are motivated.
They can be extremely self-critical. They will feel guilty and reproach themselves very easily. You won’t see this expressed as much. They can often avoid conflicts for fear of making a mistake or making someone angry.
In the end for them it is an issue of self-realization, of being your full potential. There are dreams of moving up levels, or being unable to move up levels. This is an individual
issue and they value their autonomy and independence within this context. For them, self-realization comes back to a simple choice that they can make for themselves.
In children, they will be good kids, perhaps too good, who may easily get bullied. The issue will be whether to stand up against the bully or not. The remedy may help them
to stand up in their own defense.
The muriaticum element brings in a fear of betrayal and connection to mothering. They can feel forsaken and can brood about disappointments, keeping all the thoughts inside,
They have both a desire for connection as well as a desire of independence. They like to be independent workers but for them rewards and motivation are only possible if there
are others involved.
Remedy Summary by Dave Johnson (Independent of Proving)
Gold (and by extension, the gold series) is symbolic for perfection, the highest, the ultimate, the supreme. In the material world, this ideal is embodied by the element of gold
itself. Gold also represents spirituality and the fullest expression of spirit. And for the alchemists, perfection was characterized as transforming one’s base instincts (lead) into
gold. In the material world, gold carries an extreme polarity - the wealth gold brings can used for the highest good for the whole, or it can be used for funding wars of misguided and more limited visions of a perfect world. This polarity can also be found in the spiritual realm, as one who is seeking the highest vision can experience an equally strong
resistance to that realization. In homeopathy, the gold series remedies are matched with individuals who seem themselves as carrying a weight of responsibility to themselves
and others, and if they don’t meet the standard they expect of themselves, they can engage in self-reproach which is not so amenable to positive input from others.
This can feel heavy, and the gold series remedies can experience heavy depression.
The lanthanides, which are part of the gold series and sit both at the 3rd column (the first step into autonomy) and a 2nd position matched with the sequence of elements in the
series above, there’s a sense of inner potential, light, horsepower, gifts, capacity, etc., which is not able to be fully expressed.
One may feel there’s a birth needing to happen, but it hasn’t happened yet. In the following symptoms, it’s not surprising provers experienced a battle between good and evil
forces, reflective of the gold polarity in the spiritual realm.
And with promethium, sitting at column 7th, there’s a need for control over a scenario that’s big and daunting, and where one would ideally elicit advice and experience from
others before proceeding. In the same way, the resistance may be felt as a group which works in concert for its own end purposes. So it’s also not surprising that with promethium
we see an element of doubt about whether the battle will end in victory.
And finally, given that promethium as with all other lanthanides also occupies a position at the 3rd column, we see a sense of one’s inner light, voice, capacity, strength, gifts, etc., experiencing a dilemma relative to full expression in the outer world.
Keeping in mind that promethium is a radioactive element, and at column 7 one is trying to exert as much control over the situation to avoid failure, we can see how one could
also experience a strong desire to “hold things together” (control) so things don’t fall apart (radioactivity).
Muriaticum (the element chloride) is the only anion promethium bonds with. As one of the halogens, which don’t bond tightly with other elements, muriaticum can experience
some kind of imbalance or challenge related to connection, support, mothering, nurturing and care. For example, the person gives more than is being returned, in an effort to
maintain (what seems to be) tenuous bonds with others, or one cares for one’s own or others’ children with a desire that the children don’t experience the same neglect or
loneliness felt in one’s own childhood. One can either cling tightly to connections, or alternately, accept the idea that bonds are not tight and one is bound to be disappointed
by others’ leaving.
Selfless, To be the hero “I am full of gratitude that I can dance for these people who cannot or will not dance for themselves.”
“I see as image of a planet, and here is Superman, and here is the blackness, he will defend and keep blackness from taking over, Superman is strong and selfless”
“The impossible situation or problem is only solved by the right person who can beat it. I want to, or need to be that smart one” The essence of Promethium muriaticum is
captured in the Myth of Prometheus.
Within this remedy you find both humility and superiority. The superiority of one who has the power to assist others combined with the humility of knowing they must only
act for good and not for evil. This archetypal story is re-told in many stories, Star Wars, Superman, Batman, The Lord of the Rings... In the end, their motivation will be for
others, often finding themselves giving too much of themselves (as with Prometheus and his liver) in service to others. You can wrap this into the themes of the Gold series,
in which Lanthanides are considered a part of, but with Promethium muriaticum it goes further than just responsibility. It goes to an inherent choice that each of us have
whether to walk towards the light or remain hidden in the dark. And for them to walk into the light, they can only do this if they are bringing others into the light as well.
To find healing in this area, they need to find a balance between giving and receiving, and to learn to make their own journey without the responsibility for others on their
Selfless, “Superman will defend, he is strong and selfless”
• I felt light, and happy that I was helping people by doing the proving.
• Image of a planet, and here is Superman, and here is the blackness, he will defend and keep blackness from taking over,
Superman is strong and selfless. They would give completely, to their detriment. I think Superman does die. They could die...
• It is like a huge game that everyone must play, but not everyone wants to play. Some have to learn how to fight, otherwise they get bullied. You just can't get bullied.
You have to stand up, stand up in the light.
• I was more interested in the individual women, recognizing their value to me and our sisterhood.
• We received a call for help and were happy to be able to get out and assist my son & daughter-in-law again with some cleaning & painting.
• I thought of Finite and Infinite Games, "Infinite games do not have a knowable beginning or ending. They are played with the goal of continuing play and a purpose of
bringing more players into the game. An infinite game continues play, for sake of play..."
• This reminds me of a quote by James P. Carse in Finite and Infinite Games, "Strength is paradoxical. I am not strong because I can force others to do as I wish as a result
of my play with them, but because I can allow them to do as they wish in my course of play with them".
• (Dream) I am a Daka, no one can see me, my role is to go where there is suffering and dance, this ancient Daka dance to help the individual to embody the light around
them. As I do this, I wonder, why don't these people reach inward and pull the light out themselves? I wonder how this wisdom has been lost? Then I am full of gratitude
that I can dance for these people who cannot or will not dance for themselves. When I have this thought my body bursts into pure white light!
• Deep sorrow for myself and all humans who mistakenly make their lives harder than it needs to be and a part of me doesn’t feel it’s possible, wouldn’t it be great, a relief
to just set it down, don’t know that I really can.
• (Dream) We had to burn it down in order to protect some other people.
I was crying. I didn't want to do it. But I had to do it, I was told. There were bad people in the house... "No!" I say, "there are people in there, they are going to die!", she said
"they may get out" That's bad, I didn't want to kill anyone.
• (Dream) All this as a backdrop to the very terrifying dreams I had this night. My fear in the dream was around men outside the house trying to get in...with the intent to harm.
In the dream I was trying to keep these bad guys out while trying to quietly make hubby aware of their presence. I had several dreams of this nature and cannot quite recall the
specifics. Suffice to say my feeling in the dream was one of awareness of evil and the fear that comes from feeling as if I'd be killed, along with my loved ones. Also had a feeling
in the dreams of wanting/needing to protect those with me in the house. A hero that can be anyone, “They asked me what is it like to be an Avatar”
• He's more than a hero, he's an icon. Batman can be anyone, anyone. An image cannot die. Like I'm the Dark Knight, I'm Bruce Wayne, I'm more than a person, I'm an idea,
I'm fear itself. I think darkness is my friend, but it is not.
• (Dream) they ask me what it is like to be an Avatar.
• The impossible situation or problem is only solved by the right person who can beat it. I want to, or need to be that smart one, I have to do what I can to find out how to be
that person. I am going to do what I've got to
do to be this person. I am going to do what I have to do. Do I have the skills necessary to accomplish my
goal and win the game? Can I radiate confidence. I am radiating something, what is it, it's a vibe, a vibration, a light...
• Just like the guy born into the upper class, there is this expectation on you. Just the way it is.
• (Dream) I am walking across a vast prairie; the remnants of the full moon before me, the sun rising behind me, the birds are beginning to awaken, so it's early in the morning
in this prairie. I feel the winds rushing toward me. I am surveying. I feel the heat of fires rising up around me, behind me, as I walk toward the western edge of the world that
I am presently in. Suddenly it dawns on me, I am the fire! The winds are doing their best to push me back, but this only slows me down, it will not stop my advance.
I am a different kind of strength, I am a force of energy. I am fire.
• The remedy opened up the concept of proper use of energy. This reminds me of the apprentice to a wizard. The apprentice realizes that he has the ability to use powerful energy.
He knows that he cannot use it for selfish or evil purposes. But he does not know how to manage it appropriately. It either runs out of control, or he tries too hard to manage it.
In his apprenticeship, with the help of the wizard, he is learning how to manage the energy.
• No matter what happens, at least, you are advocating for yourself. You can have peace of knowing that you tried.
• You can't NOT act, or you may as well die. If something is happening you don't like, I can't just sit there and not doing anything. I need to voice opinion, I need to be heard,
I need to do something. I'm not going to roll over, if it seems something is going to happen that I don't want to have happen, I can't sit there and not do anything. I want to try
my hardest to make things right. To express myself.
For others, “Encouraging others to shine their inner light”
• Selfless means for the better good. For the whole, for everyone, not just for the individual but for everyone. For the team. We all need to grow, we all need it, some people
have to give it for others to grow too. It's just what has to be done. You don't have a choice. Because you are part of this team.
• (Dream) My friend is kidnapped by a man and a woman. I am there . We are in a car and he is knocked out in the back seat. I am yelling out a window trying to open a door,
the car is driving very close along a walkway near the ocean, there are a lot of people there but no one is helping. I somehow get out of the car. I get to where they have taken
my friend. It is a house, I call the police but the police are not coming. I am at the police station trying to get someone to pay attention to this. A plain clothes officer says he
will help. They are not moving on this fast enough. I go to the house and bust in. I take the woman hostage, I am behind her with my arm around her neck and I somehow
manage to knock the guy out, The police finally get there. I am acknowledged for helping solve this case. We are at the police station and I am pushing the two criminals to
the place where they get booked, a woman behind the desk is helping me and told me I did a good job...
• This reminds me of a quote by James P. Carse in Finite and Infinite Games, "Strength is paradoxical. I am not strong because I can force others to do as I wish as a result of
my play with them, but because I can allow them to do as they wish in my course of play with them."
• (Dream) I was in a fox hole, in a field, protecting something, black hounds are roaming the area, clutching babies (puppies) in their mouths.
• I radiate, I am luminance, I am stimulating energy to encourage others to shine from their Inner Light outward...
• The next day I sent a comment to the automated survey w/the carrier and let them know that this film should not be viewed as there is enough evil in the world without trying
to pass this junk off as entertainment.
Forethought and Clarity
“We can't move forward until the conditions are ripe”
The second key aspect in this remedy is the desire for “Fore-thought” This aspect is also captured in the myth, Some call this column in the Periodic Table “control freaks.”
From the point of view of this remedy, they view it as “information gathering.” In their mind, the repercussions of making a mistake are dire. They will wait until they can see
the decision clearly before they act. Here they can be stalled indefinitely waiting to “know.” This information gathering can become anticipatory anxiety and a mind full of cares
and worries. They can become doubtful and confused. Inside, they know, but the world around them makes them confused and they will fail to act. For them, clarity is very
important. They will desire at upmost to see things clearly.
Fore-thought, “You know before you act”
• You know before you act. You KNOW. If you think about it, then you will know about it more.
• Fore-thought - so you can not make a bad choice. Bad choices = you fail.
• We can't force it, can't move forward until the conditions are ripe, and we will know that when we see it.
• Our exchange resolved a lot of confusion by a Virgo known as ‘Paralysis from Analysis’
• Like I have the inside scoop, like I’m sitting here and I know who is going to win the Oscar and I’m the only one, I know, I know what’s going to happen. I feel really smug
• (Dream) Something about answers, having to have the answers. A long, skinny list: answers, answers, answers!
• (Dream) (about going back in time on Mars) ... I must be going back in time before life ended on Mars. He asks me why I would want to go back since we already know what
• I noticed that my thoughts were of a very distressing nature....as in, "oh my gosh...what if my grandson slips into the tub and breaks something and then my daughter-in-law comes
home early and my son will fly back later and the plane will crash..." I would notice these sudden fearful thoughts mostly when I would lay down to sleep.
• Underlying anticipation of weekend. More aware of potential situations. How will I deal with them? Will I be nicey, nicey or be confrontational?
Fog, Confusion, “Like driving in a fog”
• It's deep. It's confusing. As you are going to get it, you get confused along the way. It is unclear, foggy, it's not definite, it's like a fog. Like driving in fog, you can't see where
you are going, you are not clear.
• A confusion, a fogginess, not a mental fog, but in a world or dimension where things don't quite take shape. I am there, but not quite operational.
• (Dream) Then it's time to get back, but I don't know this part of town, don't have a subway map. Try to ask others for directions but I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be going,
so how can they help me.
• (Dream) I dreamt that I had to get to the train, but there were levels and levels of track with trains coming and going on different ones each time. Stairways led to the tracks, but
I couldn't find which one went to which level when the trains came. There were no walls between the stairways, so each time a train came, I could look and try to find how to get
to the train, but none of the stairways ever led to the level that the train was on. Usually I'd be absolutely pissed about this, but in this dream I just figured I'd wait for the next one...
I was quite calm despite my confusion about the stairways and bit of frustration. It felt like I wasn't in a hurry and therefore could wait for the next one.
Doubt, “Trepidation, a hint of fear”
• The possibility to tip on either side. It is the consistent thing, it's constantly there - the light and dark are these forces, what happens, I don't know? Trepidation, hint of fear or
nervous, wobbly shakiness. Legs are weak. Can't get my footing.
• (Dream) I am walking across a bog, sometimes when I step down, I am deep in a swirl of mud and in-rushing water. I come to a small stream. The water is very swift, I am not
sure that I can cross the stream, just a bit too wide, and then I smell smoke, I have to find a way across the bog and this stream, in a few minutes the whole bog will be consumed
• Body is very shaky as I wait for our truck to be fixed; I feel my limbs shaky, my arms and legs feel unsteady, which is quite unusual for me; inside my chest and throat are shaky,
and I'd like to let it out by crying; it's a nervous shakiness, unsteady, I feel like an idiot and just hope everything turns out okay.
• That's the hesitation, the trepidation. Clarity, “Everything seems light and clear”
• There's been numbers of reports & occurrences of hearing about people with blindness or losing their site, prior to but especially since the Proving.
• I know my life has gotten really clear...
• Feels clearer now like that tiredness has passed.
• I feel extremely tall, looking down at the earth beneath me. Everything seems light and clear. Brighter than just a few moments ago. I feel a rush of energy travelling up and down
• Got really strong clarity, intention what important decided clear focus, clarity, my core focus, this irritation like I don’t want to bother with things that feel like distractions that are
pulling me away from who I want to be or what other obligations, like if bunch stuff on table sweep it off throw it in the trash ...
Contained, Chaos inside, and Disintegration
“the remedy is contained – of its own choice.”
“I have resisted opening to the energy because I feel like I am unable to manage it.”
“Little by little, destroying from within.”
Promethium is a radioactive element. Therefore, we see a deep issue with instability. To compensate for this they will “contain” their power or energy in the hopes that it will not
escape and become too large or too difficult to manage. This is similar to the idea of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, who thinks he can manage this magical energy, but it soon gets out
of hand once it is unleashed. It might be similar to Carcinosin trying to control the chaos. For Promethium the chaos is really about disintegration. To prevent this they need to
hold tightly to things. This is another nod to the idea of “control freaks.” While they can be carefree in a way, spontaneous things that might involve performance are not a good
idea. This can translate into a desire of order. With this internal chaos, they can easily feel overwhelmed. When this happens, they will get irritable and want to be left alone.
The solution for this is to just have one task taken off their list, then they will calm down. Another downfall of this situation is the fear of actually being too powerful. This is
another inherent aspect that holds them back from being all that they can be.
Contained of its own choice
• The remedy is in a cement compound; it's stuck in there and can't get out. Might be against its will like a prison or concentration camp - contained in this one area.
No, the remedy is contained - of its own choice. It is willingly there - It doesn't want to be seen
• "Get out of here!"
The substance is encased in something and wants to be released.
It wants out of the vial. Thousands of multicolored ping pong balls bouncing everywhere. Fluorescents, green, pink, orange, blue ping pong balls. They are out in space,
bouncing all over every direction, I don't understand what brings them back, but they are bouncing all over. It's chaos. It's crazy. I want to leave. It's driving me crazy, too much
• Trapped, pulled back, not able to express. It is like you put blinders on.
• Feeling is heavy, tense, rigid. Making me hold stuff in. Won't let me go. I can't let everything go. It is being held in. I would like to breathe a sigh of relief and let everything go...
The weight on my chest is keeping things in. Not allowing things to go free.
• Instead of breathing in you stop and wait immobile so that you cannot be penetrated or invaded. (A hand gesture) Hold off, wait, don't enter me.
• He won't say what's bugging him - he just goes out of communication.
Chaos inside, “I felt out of control of myself”
• There was only energy called chaos spinning and moving. And expands and contracts and implodes and explodes. It is just what it is, it's pure chaos, like being inside a storm.
• The remedy awakens energy flow - but it seems unable to work properly without something to manage with love. I have resisted opening to the energy because I feel like I
am unable to manage it.
• (The remedy) I don't willingly let it go. I'm afraid to do this.
• I felt out of control of myself and the situation. It did not take me long to get reoriented, but I felt like I was under a great deal of pressure - like a steam engine which is
building up, ready to explode.
• My energetic size is larger than my body, a big energy, my mind is stuck on the image of a planet forming, things are bombarding it, radiation, magnetic pull, earth forming,
continents forming, coming together, vibrating, very alive. Is this crust that forms going to be able to contain a planet or is it like a sun or something.
Disintegration, Dissolving, “Everything falling apart, disintegrating”
• Little by little, destroying from within. It is not like ten years, it takes more and more... It's eats away. The being that is taken over, they feel it happening, feel the destruction,
they desperately do what they can to survive. At a certain point, they know it is coming, that it is almost over. At a certain point, they are too long gone. Then the energy can
finish them off.
• I could experience entropy, I could experience everything falling apart, falling away, disintegrating, then it is constrained (clapping hands together).
• When others are disintegrating you just understand that's how it is; they can make a choice to move toward the light or remain in the dark, farther behind.
• Things aren't holding together the way they usually do (HG, like holding a globe, or some energy, or a big something, trying to hold it together somehow).
• (Dream) My molar fell out and instead of panic, I just held the tooth. Then I looked at my hand and the whole bottom set of teeth were there in my hand, grayish, discolored
in a bad way, held together by a brace. I was disconcerted, how could I think it was just one tooth!? The doctor had said something about a bacteria...
• It is being eaten away at, decomposing, it's breaking down. It's rotting. It's not what it used to be. It's dead. Crumbling. Not holding together. Even composted, broken down
into soil and you can't recognize it anymore.
Desire for Order, “Energy around clearing out the spaces”
• I’m feeling antsy want to clean my house before my boyfriend comes tonight
• (Dream) I've got to clean this entire building with one little rag in my hand.
• Suddenly a lot of energy around clearing out the spaces, organizing. Things on a list for some time are easily attended to, in a very organic and serendipitous manner.
Easily Overwhelmed, “There is too much to do,” “Easily annoyed”
• All of a sudden, I am overwhelmed, it seems like there is too much to do, it seems like it is too much, it seems, insurmountable, how am I supposed to keep track of and
maintain all of that?
• My temper blew, I'd had enough. People were asking me questions about things I didn't have answers for or time to research, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted to be
left alone, left to do my own thing. An extremely overwhelmed feeling, like I had too much on my chest. I "fumed" for an hour until one of my responsibilities disappeared
...then, fairly immediately my fuming started to come down, like I had a tiny bit of room to breathe.
• I am not writing a journal, it's one of those irritable things. I am opposed to doing it, I am telling my supervisor, I do not need to do it twice. Easily annoyed, impatient.
A Battle against Evil “You die a hero or you become corrupted”
“Forces of light and dark were battling in the sky.”
This core dilemma is often represented by a battle.
For them, this is a battle between good and evil or between the light and the dark. In their mind the evil side is very dark and very evil. It represents injustice as well as harm to
Archetypically this darkness is represented by most of the villains in the movies; villains who threaten to kill innocent bystanders in order to get their way. In this battle
between the good and the dark forces, the dark forces represent the hidden potential, atomic power, within themselves.
A Battle, “The forces of light and dark were battling in the sky”
• (Dream) Forces of light and dark were battling in the sky. It was like watching a martial arts competition, even though the outcome was clearly more important, the forces
had to balance each other.
• This intense battle has been going on inside me.
• This book I read “Ender’s Game.” The world is training young people, especially kids who are geniuses to be military commanders, this boy Ender is the best of the best.
He must defeat the evil aliens. He is constantly playing games in school that teach him or train him to be a military commander.
• (Dream) I was staying at a B & B in the UK with my family; we were preparing for a battle that was to take place the following morning. There were primitive weapons
strewn about and stockpiled. I was very fearful, filled with a sense of dread for the coming war. But also angry, because I seemed the only one to think it absurd and
senseless. At the start of the battle, I attempted to escape but was put into a room and a large stone was rolled in front of the doorway.
Against Evil, Injustice, This Dark Force
• I want to protect myself. My image is sitting in the room facing him and I feel like I am an island surrounded by sharks - actually worse than sharks - evil dark forces.
• They are the light, they are people (like the Jews) and a soldier is knocking down the door, that's like the death and taking over. They are scared, they are terrified.
They need to be saved, they need Superman. Something big needs to come to save them, not just one family, it's all of them. A big intervention. Coming over the earth,
and Superman is over it protecting, and these people are the earth. They are the innocent bystander.
The group force is going to come and wipe them out, it is death, a dark shadow.
• (Dream) How can these people do this? How can they come here and inflict harm? The stabbing violence, like hand to hand combat, the weapons laying around were
Medieval. Like the Lord of the Rings battle, axes for battle. I knew there would be horror and blood.
Good versus Evil. I was the good one. The evil, was impending, and it was unstoppable. No one else thought I was good. No one else saw the injustice of it.
• An energy, that is not tangible....Evil energy. Evil that doesn't care about the consequences or others. It has one goal it will do anything to reach that goal. It will step
on anything, it will take over you. Needing to be strong, “Rise up against the enemy and be strong”
• A wind may blow by, the waters can flow by and the fire...but the earth is a strong stable thing. The rock cannot move. It is strong. You have to be strong as a rock to
stand up to a rock, rise up against the enemy and be strong.
• The Empire is trying to get Luke to join the Dark side of the force. And Luke says "no" - he says... I'm afraid...
• They want to push against it. They want to threatened, they are fighting with all the energy they have. The effort is all the effort they can give to the LAST OUNCE.
Say one particle of the being is untouched, every other particle has to be used to push against this. It's monumental.
• (Dream) I've got to clean this entire building with one little rag in my hand. Pressure to get it right, “the Little Dutch Boy with his finger in the dyke”
• I had the image of the Little Dutch Boy, putting his finger in the dyke trying to hold the water in...panicked feeling, responsible, and very aware.
• The change from light to dark. The axis, that's the scary part. Like an image of triangle, you teeter from one to the other...Light on one side, if you tip to dark, you can't
go back to the other. That is the axis. If you tip into the dark, you CANNOT get back into the light.
• There’s tears behind my eyes of immense relief, I could set down a burden and package holding up, thinking that I have to hold it up making superhuman effort, don’t
have to hold up, been challenging self to suffer and effort excessively...
• I'm feeling pressure from my husband and from responsibilities weighing down on me; I'm doing so many little but important things for the business, trying hard
to keep everything straight and not forget anything High stakes, “The loss of the battle, is loss of yourself, of who you are”
• The dark energy is dead, everyone is the same...like a cloud that comes and takes over everything, all black and dark and not be able to see and recognize anything,
can't distinguish yourself from it. We are all encompassed by it. It goes flat and black. It turns us all into same thing. Then there are no individuals, no difference,
everything is the same
• Dismay at losing our times just the two of us, his apartment is quite small. I feel pushed out on the street by the circumstances, even if we're all just trying to do our best
to care for each other.
• (this thing taking over) it's a cloud, it absorbs into the person.
Something is coming in to the person, and whatever is inside has to be pushed out. All the inside stuff is shoved against the shell and energy is shoved out.
• When people make you cave, it's a little death.
• You die a hero or you become corrupted and take children captive ... or live long enough to see yourself become the bad guy.
Heavy and Deep Underground
“I am under the ground, not easy to find, heavy, very heavy, you have to work hard to get me”
“It made me feel heavy and trapped in my body.”
“There is gold there but it is buried and protected by the physical body.”
Most lanthanides will have an aspect of hiding, and Promethium has this as well. Because this mineral is found deep underground, this “deep” aspect is seen in the
remedy. They are concerned with “deeper” issues, superficial topics don’t interest them as much. There can also be “deep grief” associated, which does not come to
the surface easily. They can also experience the sensation of “Heaviness” – similar to what you might find in other heavy metals.
Deep underground, “I am under the ground, not easy to find”
• It is a deep pain. I feel it deep in my heart. It is suffocating. Drawing the energy from my throat, mouth and jaw into my heart. Collapsing inward.
• I am under the ground, not easy to find, heavy, very heavy, you have to work hard to get me, to find me. It is not impossible, but you have to work hard to find it.
Something deep underground. Very heavy, it goes down and down, it probably takes other things with it down, because of the heaviness.
• The problem is a practical down to earth situation, but I am always looking for a deeper meaning.
• I tend to hold on to things as well but it gets buried in my solar plexus - upset stomach - my power is buried. There is gold there but it is buried and protected by the
physical body. I have some skin eruptions on my stomach area almost like they are the power trying to get out - or - perhaps they present an ugly appearance and ward
off people so that I am protected.
• (Dream) a small group of people who had a yellow plastic flimsy tube, maybe four feet in diameter, that they were putting into the ocean through a hole in the room
we were in; they were attaching it somehow to the ocean floor and letting people go down to the bottom to experience the ocean floor; I wanted to try, so I jumped
into the yellow tube and slid down, it was a cushy ride because the plastic was like the plastic on a water bed, not hard plastic; gravity took me down, and it was a
little scary because it was a dark hole into the ocean, down and down, and the plastic wasn't hard so it felt like I wasn't so protected; but I didn't think much of fears,
I trusted; got to the bottom and couldn't see anything. The second time I went down, I had a strong urge to go for some reason, though I don't know what that reason
was, and it was devastating when I came up because I knew that the experience was over forever because of the hole and because of the possible consequences of being
caught in there while filling up (like drowning); I felt it was horrible and tragic for the experience to be gone forever, but I was so thankful to have gotten the chance to
go down there one last time
• A sudden longing to connect and to be understood on a deep level.
Hiding, Fear to be exposed, “It doesn’t want to be seen, protecting”
• It doesn't want to be seen - protecting, defensive mechanism, if it's seen it's exposed. It's not safe for it maybe. It feels like it knows it is this dark energy in a certain
way - it knows that I don't want it to come out fully. I'm really not that great.
• It is just that you want to touch, you want to reach out, you want to make contact, and then you pull back. The synapse doesn't quite make it. You almost touch
and you pull back. You just barely connect, if you do not pull back you will cease to exist, you have to pull back. Apprehension. Quite a bit of apprehension,
anticipation, wariness, and yet you're drawn to make contact.
• I feel like I need to hide. It results in hiding my light under a bushel so that I do not get hurt.
• Unattainable = something you can't have it easily
• Really exciting this idea of wandering, like I get to scoot around, dig in the dirt, find hidden treasures, just look around for absolutely no good reason.
• Not being seen fully. Dark. You can't see. Like being in the dark without a flashlight, can't suss them out. It's hidden in a certain way.
• Hiding, waiting for something to happen.
Detached and Distant
“It takes me a while to understand that this is not a game; this is life or death; and still, this is not a game, yet it feels like a game.”
“My stability comes from keeping people and things at a distance.”
In they desire for clarity, they try to detach from situations so they can see more clearly. Being detached and distant is a difficulty for them as they also crave “deep”
human interaction. In this detached state, they can be relatively calm in a situation that might otherwise be stressful. It is as if they are rising above and not engaged
in the minutia of everyday life. They have this interesting perspective that life is a bit of a game. It’s as if they have inside information/knowledge. They are watching
people and their earthly sagas with a bit of detachment,
They will be absent-minded and easily distracted.
They can become easily unmotivated, complaisant and procrastinating. It is just sometimes too monumental for them to act. At other times they can be very industrious
and creative when they are motivated.
Detached, “Observing from afar”
• Observed, watching from a little bit afar. It like a different world, it's separate. I'm here, I'm in my own, it is not going to come into my area. We are separated by
something. Calm and quiet and look at that.
• Like opium, you are there and are not, dull to pain you know you will endure, numb to go with them...
• I worry that my son is not as engaged in life as he could be, that he might be suffering from a lack of human connection.
• The Fairchild Symbol is the Barbed Wire Fence Protecting Grazing Cattle In A Field. I have used my energies to create a barrier around my emotions and my life.
It is like a barbed wire fence - not that anyone gets cut by the fence.
My stability comes from keeping people and things at a distance.
• I kind of feel like I am in a dream state, a little floaty. Although I feel stressed it is not penetrating.... I don't feel like I am ignoring this. It is like I am standing back
and watching this process.
• It's as if I can see my past in a retrospective without the emotional attachment.
• (Dream) I was living in a commune type environment and with something going to happen where it would be the end of the world. It was not frightening - it was all
Dream was calm and calculated not panic like you would expect in an end of the world dream.
• I have felt like a giant or extremely tall throughout this proving. I am only 5'8", but I feel like I am looking down at the earth or my feet from a distance.
Tranquility, Calm, “Everything is fine”
• Everything is fine, if I cannot change it, everything the way it is fine. I'd like to change things the way I'd like to be better, I knew I couldn't, made me angry.
But after the remedy, it was fine. It wasn't that important any more.
• So relaxed, I'm not very productive or proactive; it's hard for me to help set up the booth like I usually do, I just sit and write price tags or talk to vendors next door.
• This Proving remedy for me seems to be considerably toning down the “worry-itis” for me. I am still experiencing tranquility throughout my day & am grateful for
the peace of mind & heart that are pronounced
• It's like being out in space, in the universe, but it's inside of it, like subatomic space. This is not dissimilar to being out in nature, simple, peaceful. Knowing exactly
where you are.
• I'm in peace. I don't have any emotional feelings. I have clear thoughts. I see the cloud but I don't feel it in my head like I have been. I don't feel confused like I have
been. I don't have it in my head; my head is clear. Inside I feel peace, nothing else
• This is the peaceful, serene. Bible like. Shepard by a stream. As if in a game
• It is like a huge game that everyone must play, but not everyone wants to play.
• (Dream) I am deep in space. I suddenly realize that I am swimming in space, in the void or darkness of deep space, I am an immature dolphin, there are fish swimming
around me; I am oblivious, playful, and care free....then a shark attacks me, still I am in my own world, my family surrounds me and protects me; they defend me; it
takes me a while to understand that this is not a game; this is life or death; and still, this is not a game, yet it feels like a game.
• (Dream) About a snake by my feet, no anxiety about it, just matter of fact, non-reaction to it. I just moved away and felt safe. Just as though the snake was a piece of
• What I anticipate to be difficult & complicated turns out to be quite effortless & easy....and again, a feeling of 'all is well' & no worries. I have been enjoying a sense
of well-being that is almost palpable
• Nervous it was going to be dark. Instead of dealing with the dark, I've decided to turn it off.
Humor, “like everything about life is a practical joke”
• I feel like I have a shit eating grin on my face. Like everything about life is a practical joke.
• (Dream) The shrine is like a tabernacle, a shrine, like a focusing kind of place, it focuses your attention, your spiritual attention. The thing that keeps coming, that I
want to reject is about laughter, laughing, the character on the microwave shrine is laughing, the person who drew the hieroglyphic like character was laughing, a
joyful, good-hearted laughter (deep sigh).
• What is the point of living if you don’t laugh.
Absentminded, Forgetful, “I’ve been making strange mistakes”
• I'm driving back from soccer and I went to our old house!! We moved from that house 2.5 months ago and I have never done that during that last 2.5 months.
• I have been making strange mistakes, putting double the postage required on packages. Filing charts for patients I haven't yet seen. Setting things down in an
unusual place and walking away. Forgetful and absentminded.
• After class today, I realized I forgot my keys at home and locked myself out of my house.
• Knew I had a phone appointment but didn't remember who it was with.
• Prover forgot to call supervisor as scheduled.
Avoiding conflict, Complaisant, Procrastination, “Why even bother to fight”
• Lying down in the middle of wherever... like inevitable, they are going to take you over, why even bother, you are defeated.
Why even bother to fight.
• I would much prefer to float away into my brow and crown chakra and avoid confrontational interaction.
• Afraid of it. It's going to stir something up and not ready to have it stirred
• Building sense of dread and fear. How can I escape, how can I avoid this situation.
• I will try to take notes, something interrupts and I find an excuse not to do it.
• Aware that there are decisions I need to make and situations I am avoiding hoping it plays out.
• I didn't want to start the remedy - that's why I didn't answer your email - I was avoiding...
• Had many things to do, but found myself just kind of taking it easy and avoiding the work.
Industrious, “All of a sudden I felt an inner motivation”
• I just all of a sudden felt an inner motivation, I am pretty laid back most of the time. All of a sudden I wanted to do this. It was a beautiful fall day and I was industrious.
• I am stepping out, I have made my choices. I have chosen. I am on my way.
• I did an hours worth of Mixed Martial Arts, this substance makes me feel stronger than I am. I have more industriousness (a increase to my already normal industrial way).
I am now about to start working at 7 h.
Self‐realization “Why do you forget your goodness? If you remember that you always had a choice your life would be completely different.”
For Promethium it is about self-realization or self-actualization. It is about becoming all that a person can be, “A truer expression of themselves”. For them, they can only do
this will bringing others with them.
The light is representative on many levels of self-actualization. The light is also reflective of “goodness” and “selflessness.” Spirituality +/o. religions will be of interest to them.
They may also have confusion in this area as other lanthanides can have as what they know inside is not being seen in the people around them.
The light, “A white light, a pure essence of being”
• Light. Light is energy. Light from the sun, it changes, it's changeable. It can be bright, small, or large, it can fill a whole area, a tiny pin prick, burning, no heat at all.
It can help you to see or blind you. Cause things to grow or it can kill things. Like a force.
• A white light = pure essence of being. Beyond this plane of existence, it's pure energy. It's like where we all come from, it's everything, it's consciousness.
• I see white, light blue, like a beautiful blue sky with a cloud floating in it.
• Rainbow light, diamond light, emerald light, ruby light, star sapphire light, opal light, and topaz light, every light leading to the Inner Light or the clearest of lights.
• The penetrating warmth of the sun. I love to sit in the sun on a cool day.
• This light reminds me of peace, inner peace, calm, happiness, hope. It's good, it's goodness, it's something that you always want, but don't always remember.
• Saw a nuclear bomb. There is dark and light to nuclear bomb, explosion itself is fire and light. It creates a spark a (pchoo!) it gives off some light.
• I am out walking along Lake Michigan. The sunlight is hitting the waves. It is moving and jumping like rain, drops of light falling on the waves. I am mesmerized and
peaceful. A calm comes over me.
Self-realization, “They can make a choice to move toward the light or remain in the dark”
• I'm becoming a truer expression of myself.
• Everything is just relaxing, I am light, layers slough off me, and melt down, like water, or an oil, that slides and glides easily, melting, rolling down. It just sort of pours off me.
Layers of accumulation flow off, melt off, down and off. I become more and more my pure structure, my true self, without any extra padding or defending.
• Our church is currently engaged in a series called 'Toxic.' I am finally gaining much headway with long overdue clutter piles. It's like, 'out with the old/in with the new.
• They can make a choice to move toward the light or remain in the dark, farther behind. The vortex has an enormous power to it. Sometimes you can't tell if the light is radiating
out of you or the vortex, you become confused in a way. It's flowing into me, that feels really nice, warm, light, and powerful. Why can't you remember this light and it's goodness?
Why do you forget your goodness? If you remember that you always had a choice your life would be completely different.
• (Dream) I am asked to escort a celestial being, a goddess, through a modern European city. There is a shopping center or mall (an outdoor mall) with three layers, we appear
on the lowest level. There is some reenactment happening off of a stairwell to our right. The goddess just floats a few feet off the ground, as though there were molecules between
her feet and the ground, space between. She appears as one would imagine an alien being to appear, as though she is taking it all in, but not triggered by the daily interactions
of the humans around her. There are two enormous escalators on each side of the mall, they are covered by permanent canopies, we are riding up and something catches her eye,
jewels, diamonds, sapphires, rubies, pearls, in a shop. Her hair is silver, she has a blue dress on, her eyes match her dress, a kind of steel-blue; I am wearing a lapis lazuli colored robe.
She runs over giggling now; I tell her, "Remember to keep your composure." She lovingly handles the gems and pearls. I have the sense that the people at the mall worship this
celestial being, even though they aren't yet aware that she is walking amongst them. Then we go up again, to the third level, there is a street vendor, on the third level there is a river
that is flowing swiftly, the street vendor is pan frying salmon and herbs in butter and white wine sauce. The goddess wants to eat some of the salmon. She does so as though she
is eating something for the first time. There are three salmon filets in the pan (I remember seeing this image in my mind's eye before). Suddenly, throngs of children run toward
us, they are carrying offerings of exotic flowers and jewels (like those we saw in the store on the second level). The children break into song (the Lone Wild Bird).
The celestial being and I her escort begin to dance like two birds ten feet off the ground (in order to fly, I must use my Ujjaiya pranayama; my skin turns blue). Now we are
surrounded by the children and their teachers and their tutors, and their parents and grandparents. We are in the midst of a great game and Bhakti celebration. The goddess tells
me that she loves me and I weep... Then I turn and I wake up. Between the real and the unreal, Parallel worlds
• Intermediaries are shaman figures they are messengers and gatekeepers to other realities and ways of seeing/being.
• Do I want something more earthly?... exciting sex, more earthly things or do I really want this peace and clarity that comes from a deeper understanding.
• It's kinesthetic. The bubbles are like the whole universe that are captured by this dome, pavilion, a foot and a half above my head, that sort of like a part of me that opens up to
pick up things like a receptor. I think that the two are connected but it is a different quality of integration that I have never been aware of before.
• The vortex is a spinning disc of light, it is like the spinning wheel of a universe, but not our universe. A different universe, that is like ours, but slightly different. A black screen,
like a different channel of the same universe.
For a Higher Purpose, Balance, Unification
• To take this energy, this sexual energy and to transform it into something that is a higher purpose.
• The qualities of this person include the ability to accomplish what others can't or won't attempt to because they fear that they cannot.
The fear that they can't accomplish the task is a disappointment. Yeah, a disappointment that you might fail to accomplish what must be accomplished. I don't want to be a
disappointment or disappoint others. This is not a team sport, but you
are playing for many people.
• To be a balanced person. This is hard. To integrate it into my life so there is harmony and balance.
Right now it feels just up and down, when someone is raising their vibration, thru healing, when you fall or stumble there is a greater distance to fall. The highs are higher but
the lows are lower.
• Sensation of what bottom of ocean feels like pull tidal a rocking feeling back and forth a rocking feeling, a unity somehow feels very complete
.... like I’m really feeling like I’m one with all the atoms in whole world part of whole world in here or you
permeability maybe boundaries aren’t so clear so it not disturbing I know I’m me and not the pillow like we are all one god
• In this proving, we are all separate, me and the other provers, and yet I can feel them inside of me, separate and intimately linked.
The interconnectedness of all being and all things.
• Sometimes I'm so expansive, these feelings are so expansive, I love everybody, I'm connected to everybody.
• (Dream) It was a very happy feeling of surprise that I could so easily make music with others...never mind that I was in an unfamiliar place with several people I did not know
who I believed were retarded & also playing instruments that were not familiar or common. But the music we made together and the sounds were so very lovely. I was thrilled
& felt a sense of unity and accomplishment, even though I had not practiced previously or even knew what the heck I was doing.
• It's about your imagination, imagining a potential future, that's what that (HG hand waving energy) imagining that what that vibration is, creative force, a man and a woman
can pop out a kid, that's a creative force...
“You do not accomplish what you set out to do. Shameful.”
They can be extremely self-critical. They will feel guilty and reproach themselves very easily. You won’t see this expressed as much. They can often avoid conflicts for fear of
making a mistake or making someone angry.
• I feel bad I messed it up, I should do better next time. I have to correct my mistakes. She will be mad at me.
• Talked to someone last night, feeling really bad last night haven’t been paying much attention to writing things down, feeling guilty and some shame
• To turn away from it, like being a good wife... a good wife or a bad wife, am I a good student or a bad student...?
• (Dream) When I realized that my car was stuck, felt guilty and apologized since these people had been assembled for this task.
• You do not accomplish what you set out to do. Shameful.
• Still, quite disruptive things happening. Big things, and yet they work out quickly and work out easily. A feeling of stupidity.
• After he left, I started feeling stupid because I'd just given my personal information to a stranger without verifying a police badge or even looking to see if his car was actually
a police car; I felt a bit vulnerable and immediately thought the man might now use my personal information to commit identity theft or steal money;
it was a bit hard for me to go to sleep after that because of my worrying;
• Like something behind me, just out of my sight,... feel pull back and reminds me of obligations.
• (Dream) My grandmother has been in a hospice for 8 years. I haven't seen her this entire time. I'm in Chicago and tell my sister that I want to see her. I cry. How could I have
forgotten to visit her.