Promethium metallicum
Vergleich: Siehe: Lanthaniden + Prometheus
[Rosina Sonnenschmidt]
Visionen/überlegt Konsequenzen/Teamarbeit + Unabhängigkeit
Brings gifts/der Vorausdenker/Foresight
Promethium
muriaticum
[Jason-Aeric Huenecke/Lori Foley]
Promethium, originally prometheum, is a chemical element with the symbol
Pm and atomic number 61.
All of its isotopes are radioactive; it is one of only two such elements
that are followed in the periodic table by elements with stable forms, a
distinction shared with technetium. Chemically, promethium is a lanthanide,
which forms salts when combined with other elements. Promethium shows only one
stable oxidation state of +3.
In 1902, Bohuslav Brauner suggested there was an element with properties
intermediate between those of the known elements neodymium (60) and samarium
(62); this was confirmed in 1914 by Henry Moseley who, having measured the
atomic numbers of all the elements then known, found there was no element with
atomic number 61.
In 1926, an Italian and an American group claimed to have isolated a sample
of element 61; both "discoveries" were soon proven to be false. In
1938, during a nuclear
experiment conducted at Ohio State University, a few radioactive
nuclides were produced that certainly were not radioisotopes of neodymium or
samarium, but there was
a lack of chemical proof that element 61 was produced, and the discovery
was not generally recognized. Promethium was first produced and characterized
at Oak Ridge National Laboratory in 1945 by the separation and analysis of the
fission products of uranium fuel irradiated in a graphite reactor. The
discoverers proposed the name "prometheum"
(the spelling was subsequently changed), derived from Prometheus, the
Titan in Greek mythology who stole fire from Mount Olympus and brought it down
to humans, to
symbolize "both the daring and the possible misuse of mankind's
intellect." However, a sample of the metal was made only in 1963.
Since natural promethium is exceedingly scarce, the element is typically
synthesized by bombarding enriched uranium with thermal neutrons to produce promethium-147.
Slats of Promethium have a green-yellow color, the air surrounding
Promethium is pale blue-green. There is a strange star HR465 in the Andromeda
galaxy that contains a
lot of Promethium.
Uses
Most promethium is used only for research purposes, except for promethium-147,
which can be found outside laboratories. This isotope does not emit gamma rays,
and its
radiation has a relatively small penetration depth in matter and a
relatively long half-life. Promethium is used in pacemakers. Some signal lights
use a luminous paint,
containing a phosphor that absorbs the beta radiation emitted by promethium-147
and emits light. This is used in situations when dependable operation is
needed.
In atomic batteries, the beta particles emitted by promethium-147 are
converted into electric current by sandwiching a small Pm source between two
semiconductor plates.
These batteries have a useful lifetime of about five years. Promethium
is also used to measure the thickness of materials by evaluating the amount of
radiation from a
promethium source that passes through the sample. It has possible future
uses in portable X-ray sources, and as auxiliary heat or power sources for
space probes and satellites.
According to Jan Scholten’s book “The Secret Lanthanides” he says: Promethium
can be seen as a contradiction in itself. The Lanthanide aspect is completely individual,
whereas the Stage 7 aspect is of working together. This kind of duality
can also be seen in Technetium, which was also originally non-existent on
earth.
Analysis
Helping with independence
They want to help other people to be free and independent. They help
them to be strong, someone who is in control of themselves. They help other
people to take their life
into their own hands, to be something special, not ordinary.
Cooperation in autonomy
They like to work together with people who are also autonomous. They
feel autonomy is indispensable for real cooperation. They know that dependence
only leads to obedience instead of cooperation.
Learning to be free
They can even seek many different situations to try themselves out and
to expand their independence.
Teaching the inner world: Humanity
The combination of cooperation and autonomy is very human. Man is given
freedom but he doesn’t have to be alone in that. Cooperation can even add to
freedom and independence.
Humanity has created culture, art and sciences
through cooperation and freedom, the freedom to think and go where the
mind leads us. Dictatorship has always been the biggest enemy of cultural
flowering.
They want to teach others to be independent. Because of this they also
want to master their inner world. They can become therapists or teachers,
helping others to become independent. Fire or light is symbolic for seeing and
insight. Prometheus was helping mankind by bringing them light.
[Sankaran]
Promethium in Column 7 in representative of: The structure is adequate
in normal conditions but it needs support in tough conditions. One doesn’t need
to prove anymore.
There is a need of refining, improving, reinforcing, bolstering and fine-tuning.
Mental Overview
The essence of Promethium muriaticum is captured in the Myth of
Prometheu
Basically, Prometheus decides to defy the Gods who have kept the use of
fire for themselves, and deliver fire to the humans. As a penalty for this magnanimous
act, Prometheus is chained to a rock and his liver is eaten by an eagle every
day. Within this remedy you find both humility and superiority. The superiority
of one who has the power to assist others combined with the humility of knowing
they must only act for good and not for evil. In the end, their motivation will
be for others, often finding themselves giving too much of themselves (as with Prometheus
and his liver) in service to others. You can wrap this into the themes of the
Gold series, in which Lanthanides are considered a part of, but with
Promethium muriaticum it goes further than just responsibility. It goes
to an inherent choice that each of us have whether to walk towards the light or
remain hidden in the dark.
And for them to walk into the light, they can only do this if they are
bringing others into the light as well. To find healing in this area, they need
to find a balance between giving and receiving and to learn to make their own
journey without the responsibility for others on their shoulders.
This core dilemma is often represented by a battle. For them, this is a
battle between good and evil or between the light and the dark. In their mind
the evil side is very dark and
very evil. It represents injustice as well as harm to innocent victims. Archetypically
this darkness is represented by most of the villains in the movies; villains
who threaten to kill
innocent bystanders in order to get their way. This archetypal tale is
re-told again and again in hero sagas; Star Wars, Superman, Batman, The Lord of
the Rings
For Promethium, in this battle between the good and the dark forces, the
dark forces represent the hidden potential, atomic power, within themselves. For
them, they know they have a large potential inside of them, they are just unsure
if they will succeed in their lofty aspirations. As far as acting, they know
they will have to, this is inevitable for them.
If they hold back or hide, the energy within them builds up wanting to
be released. There was a dream of an immature eagle, representing the noble
aspirations of the eagle in an immature, unrealized state.
Another key aspect in this remedy is the desire for “Fore-thought” This
aspect is also captured in the myth, Some call this column in the Periodic Table
“control freaks.” From the point of view of this remedy, they view it as
“information gathering.” In their mind, the repercussions of making a mistake
are dire. They will wait until they can see the decision
clearly before they act. Here they can be stalled indefinitely waiting
to “know.” This information gathering can become anticipatory anxiety and a
mind full of cares and worries. They can become doubtful and confused. Inside,
they know, but the world around them makes them confused and they will fail to
act. For them, clarity is very important.
They will desire at upmost to see things clearly.
Promethium is a radioactive element. Therefore, we see a deep issue with
instability. To compensate for this they will “contain” their power or energy
in the hopes that it will
not escape and become too large or too difficult to manage. This is
similar to the idea of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, who thinks he can manage this
magical energy, but it soon
gets out of hand once it is unleashed. It might be similar to Carcinosin
trying to control the chaos. For Promethium the chaos is really about
disintegration. To prevent this they
need to hold tightly to things. This is another nod to the idea of
“control freaks.” While they can be carefree in a way, spontaneous things that
might involve performance are
not a good idea. This can translate into a desire for order. With this
internal chaos, they can easily feel overwhelmed. When this happens, they will
get irritable and want to be
left alone. The solution for this is to just have one task taken off
their list, then they will calm down. Another downfall of this situation is the
fear of actually being too powerful. This is another inherent aspect that holds
them back from being all that they can be.
Most lanthanides will have an aspect of hiding, and Promethium has this
as well.
Because this mineral is found
deep underground, this “deep” aspect is seen in the remedy. They are concerned
with “deeper” issues, superficial topics don’t interest them as
much. There can also be “deep grief” associated, which does not come to
the surface easily. They can also experience the sensation of “Heaviness” –
similar to what you might
find in other heavy metals.
In they desire for clarity, they try to detach from situations so they
can see more clearly. Being detached and distant is a difficulty for them as
they also crave “deep” human interaction. In this detached state, they can be
relatively calm in a situation that might otherwise be stressful. It is as if
they are rising above and not engaged in the minutia of everyday life. They
have this interesting perspective that life is a bit of a game. It’s as if they
have inside information/knowledge. They are watching people and their earthly
sagas with a bit of detachment, They will be absent-minded and easily
distracted. They can become easily unmotivated, complaisant and procrastinating.
It is just sometimes
too monumental for them to act. At other times they can be very industrious
and creative when they are motivated.
They can be extremely self-critical. They will feel guilty and reproach
themselves very easily. You won’t see this expressed as much. They can often
avoid conflicts for fear of making a mistake or making someone angry.
In the end for them it is an issue of self-realization, of being your
full potential. There are dreams of moving up levels, or being unable to move
up levels. This is an individual
issue and they value their autonomy and independence within this
context. For them, self-realization comes back to a simple choice that they can
make for themselves.
In children, they will be good kids, perhaps too good, who may easily get
bullied. The issue will be whether to stand up against the bully or not. The remedy
may help them
to stand up in their own defense.
The muriaticum element brings in a fear of betrayal and connection to
mothering. They can feel forsaken and can brood about disappointments, keeping
all the thoughts inside,
They have both a desire for connection as well as a desire of
independence. They like to be independent workers but for them rewards and
motivation are only possible if there
are others involved.
Remedy Summary by Dave Johnson (Independent of Proving)
Gold (and by extension, the gold series) is symbolic for perfection, the
highest, the ultimate, the supreme. In the material world, this ideal is
embodied by the element of gold
itself. Gold also represents spirituality and the fullest expression of
spirit. And for the alchemists, perfection was characterized as transforming one’s
base instincts (lead) into
gold. In the material world, gold carries an extreme polarity - the
wealth gold brings can used for the highest good for the whole, or it can be
used for funding wars of misguided and more limited visions of a perfect world.
This polarity can also be found in the spiritual realm, as one who is seeking
the highest vision can experience an equally strong
resistance to that realization. In homeopathy, the gold series remedies
are matched with individuals who seem themselves as carrying a weight of
responsibility to themselves
and others, and if they don’t meet the standard they expect of themselves,
they can engage in self-reproach which is not so amenable to positive input
from others.
This can feel heavy, and the gold series remedies can experience heavy
depression.
The lanthanides, which are part of the gold series and sit both at the 3rd
column (the first step into autonomy) and a 2nd position matched
with the sequence of elements in the
series above, there’s a sense of inner potential, light, horsepower,
gifts, capacity, etc., which is not able to be fully expressed.
One may feel there’s a birth needing to happen, but it hasn’t happened
yet. In the following symptoms, it’s not surprising provers experienced a battle
between good and evil
forces, reflective of the gold polarity in the spiritual realm.
And with promethium, sitting at
column 7th,
there’s a need for control over a scenario that’s big and daunting, and where
one would ideally elicit advice and experience from
others before proceeding. In the same way, the resistance may be felt as
a group which works in concert for its own end purposes. So it’s also not
surprising that with promethium
we see an element of doubt about whether the battle will end in victory.
And finally, given that promethium as with all other lanthanides also
occupies a position at the 3rd column, we see a sense of
one’s inner light, voice, capacity, strength, gifts, etc., experiencing a
dilemma relative to full expression in the outer world.
Keeping in mind that promethium is a radioactive element, and at column
7 one is trying to exert as much control over the situation to avoid failure,
we can see how one could
also experience a strong desire to “hold things together” (control) so
things don’t fall apart (radioactivity).
Muriaticum (the element chloride) is the only
anion promethium bonds with. As one of the halogens, which don’t bond tightly
with other elements, muriaticum can experience
some kind of imbalance or challenge related to connection, support,
mothering, nurturing and care. For example, the person gives more than is being
returned, in an effort to
maintain (what seems to be) tenuous bonds with others, or one cares for
one’s own or others’ children with a desire that the children don’t experience
the same neglect or
loneliness felt in one’s own childhood. One can either cling tightly to
connections, or alternately, accept the idea that bonds are not tight and one
is bound to be disappointed
by others’ leaving.
Selfless, To be the hero “I am full of gratitude that I can dance for
these people who cannot or will not dance for themselves.”
“I see as image of a planet, and here is Superman, and here is the
blackness, he will defend and keep blackness from taking over, Superman is
strong and selfless”
“The impossible situation or problem is only solved by the right person
who can beat it. I want to, or need to be that smart one” The essence of Promethium muriaticum is
captured in the Myth of Prometheus.
Within this remedy you find both humility and superiority. The
superiority of one who has the power to assist others combined with the
humility of knowing they must only
act for good and not for evil. This archetypal story is re-told in many
stories, Star Wars, Superman, Batman, The Lord of the Rings... In the end,
their motivation will be for
others, often finding themselves giving too much of themselves (as with
Prometheus and his liver) in service to others. You can wrap this into the
themes of the Gold series,
in which Lanthanides are considered a part of, but with Promethium
muriaticum it goes further than just responsibility. It goes to an inherent
choice that each of us have
whether to walk towards the light or remain hidden in the dark. And for
them to walk into the light, they can only do this if they are bringing others
into the light as well.
To find healing in this area, they need to find a balance between giving
and receiving, and to learn to make their own journey without the responsibility
for others on their
shoulders.
Selfless, “Superman will defend, he is strong and selfless”
• I felt light, and happy that I was helping people by doing the
proving.
• Image of a planet, and here is Superman, and here is the blackness, he
will defend and keep blackness from taking over,
Superman is strong and selfless. They would give completely, to their
detriment. I think Superman does die. They could die...
• It is like a huge game that everyone must play, but not everyone wants
to play. Some have to learn how to fight, otherwise they get bullied. You just
can't get bullied.
You have to stand up, stand up in the light.
• I was more interested in the individual women, recognizing their value
to me and our sisterhood.
• We received a call for help and were happy to be able to get out and
assist my son & daughter-in-law again with some cleaning & painting.
• I thought of Finite and Infinite Games, "Infinite games do not
have a knowable beginning or ending. They are played with the goal of
continuing play and a purpose of
bringing more players into the game. An infinite game continues play,
for sake of play..."
• This reminds me of a quote by James P. Carse in Finite and Infinite
Games, "Strength is paradoxical. I am not strong because I can force
others to do as I wish as a result
of my play with them, but because I can allow them to do as they wish in
my course of play with them".
• (Dream) I am a Daka, no one can see me, my role is to go where there
is suffering and dance, this ancient Daka dance to help the individual to
embody the light around
them. As I do this, I wonder, why don't these people reach inward and
pull the light out themselves? I wonder how this wisdom has been lost? Then I
am full of gratitude
that I can dance for these people who cannot or will not dance for
themselves. When I have this thought my body bursts into pure white light!
• Deep sorrow for myself and all humans who mistakenly make their lives
harder than it needs to be and a part of me doesn’t feel it’s possible, wouldn’t
it be great, a relief
to just set it down, don’t know that I really can.
• (Dream) We had to burn it down in order to protect some other people.
I was crying. I didn't want to do
it. But I had to do it, I was told. There were bad people in the house... "No!"
I say, "there are people in there, they are going to die!", she said
"they may get out" That's bad, I didn't want to kill anyone.
• (Dream) All this as a backdrop to the very terrifying dreams I had
this night. My fear in the dream was around men outside the house trying to get
in...with the intent to harm.
In the dream I was trying to keep these bad guys out while trying to
quietly make hubby aware of their presence. I had several dreams of this nature
and cannot quite recall the
specifics. Suffice to say my feeling in the dream was one of awareness
of evil and the fear that comes from feeling as if I'd be killed, along with my
loved ones. Also had a feeling
in the dreams of wanting/needing to protect those with me in the house. A
hero that can be anyone, “They asked me what is it like to be an Avatar”
• He's more than a hero, he's an icon. Batman can be anyone, anyone. An
image cannot die. Like I'm the Dark Knight, I'm Bruce Wayne, I'm more than a
person, I'm an idea,
I'm fear itself. I think darkness is my friend, but it is not.
• (Dream) they ask me what it is like to be an Avatar.
• The impossible situation or problem is only solved by the right person
who can beat it. I want to, or need to be that smart one, I have to do what I
can to find out how to be
that person. I am going to do what I've got to
do to be this person. I am going to do what I have to do. Do I have the
skills necessary to accomplish my
goal and win the game? Can I radiate confidence. I am radiating
something, what is it, it's a vibe, a vibration, a light...
• Just like the guy born into the upper class, there is this expectation
on you. Just the way it is.
• (Dream) I am walking across a vast prairie; the remnants of the full
moon before me, the sun rising behind me, the birds are beginning to awaken, so
it's early in the morning
in this prairie. I feel the winds rushing toward me. I am surveying. I
feel the heat of fires rising up around me, behind me, as I walk toward the western
edge of the world that
I am presently in. Suddenly it dawns on me, I am the fire! The winds are
doing their best to push me back, but this only slows me down, it will not stop
my advance.
I am a different kind of strength, I am a force of energy. I am fire.
• The remedy opened up the concept of proper use of energy. This reminds
me of the apprentice to a wizard. The apprentice realizes that he has the
ability to use powerful energy.
He knows that he cannot use it for selfish or evil purposes. But he does
not know how to manage it appropriately. It either runs out of control, or he
tries too hard to manage it.
In his apprenticeship, with the help of the wizard, he is learning how
to manage the energy.
• No matter what happens, at least, you are advocating for yourself. You
can have peace of knowing that you tried.
• You can't NOT act, or you may as well die. If something is happening you don't like, I
can't just sit there and not doing anything. I need to voice opinion, I need to
be heard,
I need to do something. I'm not going to roll over, if it seems
something is going to happen that I don't want to have happen, I can't sit
there and not do anything. I want to try
my hardest to make things right. To express myself.
For others, “Encouraging others to shine their inner light”
• Selfless means for the better good. For the whole, for everyone, not just for the
individual but for everyone. For the team. We all need to grow, we all need it,
some people
have to give it for others to grow too. It's just what has to be done. You
don't have a choice. Because you are part of this team.
• (Dream) My friend is kidnapped by a man and a woman. I am there . We
are in a car and he is knocked out in the back seat. I am yelling out a window
trying to open a door,
the car is driving very close along a walkway near the ocean, there are
a lot of people there but no one is helping. I somehow get out of the car. I get
to where they have taken
my friend. It is a house, I call the police but the police are not
coming. I am at the police station trying to get someone to pay attention to
this. A plain clothes officer says he
will help. They are not moving on this fast enough. I go to the house and
bust in. I take the woman hostage, I am behind her with my arm around her neck
and I somehow
manage to knock the guy out, The police finally get there. I am
acknowledged for helping solve this case. We are at the police station and I am
pushing the two criminals to
the place where they get booked, a woman behind the desk is helping me
and told me I did a good job...
• This reminds me of a quote by James P. Carse in Finite and Infinite
Games, "Strength is paradoxical. I am not strong because I can force
others to do as I wish as a result of
my play with them, but because I can allow them to do as they wish in my
course of play with them."
• (Dream) I was in a fox hole, in a field, protecting something, black
hounds are roaming the area, clutching babies (puppies) in their mouths.
• I radiate, I am luminance, I am stimulating energy to encourage others
to shine from their Inner Light outward...
• The next day I sent a comment to the automated survey w/the carrier
and let them know that this film should not be viewed as there is enough evil
in the world without trying
to pass this junk off as entertainment.
Forethought and Clarity
“We can't move forward until the conditions are ripe”
The second key aspect in this remedy is the desire for “Fore-thought” This
aspect is also captured in the myth, Some call this column in the Periodic
Table “control freaks.”
From the point of view of this remedy, they view it as “information
gathering.” In their mind, the repercussions of making a mistake are dire. They
will wait until they can see
the decision clearly before they act. Here they can be stalled indefinitely
waiting to “know.” This information gathering can become anticipatory anxiety
and a mind full of cares
and worries. They can become doubtful and confused. Inside, they know,
but the world around them makes them confused and they will fail to act. For
them, clarity is very
important. They will desire at upmost to see things clearly.
Fore-thought, “You know before you act”
• You know before you act. You KNOW. If you think about it, then you
will know about it more.
• Fore-thought - so you can not make a bad choice. Bad choices = you
fail.
• We can't force it, can't move forward until the conditions are ripe, and
we will know that when we see it.
• Our exchange resolved a lot of confusion by a Virgo known as
‘Paralysis from Analysis’
• Like I have the inside scoop, like I’m sitting here and I know who is
going to win the Oscar and I’m the only one, I know, I know what’s going to
happen. I feel really smug
about that.
• (Dream) Something about answers, having to have the answers. A long,
skinny list: answers, answers, answers!
• (Dream) (about going back in time on Mars) ... I must be going back in
time before life ended on Mars. He asks me why I would want to go back since we
already know what
happens.
Anticipation, Worries
• I noticed that my thoughts were of a very distressing nature....as in,
"oh my gosh...what if my grandson slips into the tub and breaks something
and then my daughter-in-law comes
home early and my son will fly back later and the plane will
crash..." I would notice these sudden fearful thoughts mostly when I would
lay down to sleep.
• Underlying anticipation of weekend. More aware of potential
situations. How will I deal with them? Will I be nicey, nicey or be
confrontational?
Fog, Confusion, “Like driving in a fog”
• It's deep. It's confusing. As you are going to get it, you get
confused along the way. It is unclear, foggy, it's not definite, it's like a
fog. Like driving in fog, you can't see where
you are going, you are not clear.
• A confusion, a fogginess, not a mental fog, but in a world or
dimension where things don't quite take shape. I am there, but not quite
operational.
• (Dream) Then it's time to get back, but I don't know this part of
town, don't have a subway map. Try to ask others for directions but I'm not
sure where I'm supposed to be going,
so how can they help me.
• (Dream) I dreamt that I had to get to the train, but there were levels
and levels of track with trains coming and going on different ones each time. Stairways
led to the tracks, but
I couldn't find which one went to which level when the trains came. There
were no walls between the stairways, so each time a train came, I could look
and try to find how to get
to the train, but none of the stairways ever led to the level that the
train was on. Usually I'd be absolutely pissed about this, but in this dream I
just figured I'd wait for the next one...
I was quite calm despite my confusion about the stairways and bit of
frustration. It felt like I wasn't in a hurry and therefore could wait for the
next one.
Doubt, “Trepidation, a hint of fear”
• The possibility to tip on either side. It is the consistent thing,
it's constantly there - the light and dark are these forces, what happens, I
don't know? Trepidation, hint of fear or
nervous, wobbly shakiness. Legs are weak. Can't get my footing.
• (Dream) I am walking across a bog, sometimes when I step down, I am
deep in a swirl of mud and in-rushing water. I come to a small stream. The
water is very swift, I am not
sure that I can cross the stream, just a bit too wide, and then I smell
smoke, I have to find a way across the bog and this stream, in a few minutes
the whole bog will be consumed
by fire...
• Body is very shaky as I wait for our truck to be fixed; I feel my
limbs shaky, my arms and legs feel unsteady, which is quite unusual for me;
inside my chest and throat are shaky,
and I'd like to let it out by crying; it's a nervous shakiness, unsteady,
I feel like an idiot and just hope everything turns out okay.
• That's the hesitation, the trepidation. Clarity, “Everything seems
light and clear”
• There's been numbers of reports & occurrences of hearing about
people with blindness or losing their site, prior to but especially since the
Proving.
• I know my life has gotten really clear...
• Feels clearer now like that tiredness has passed.
• I feel extremely tall, looking down at the earth beneath me. Everything
seems light and clear. Brighter than just a few moments ago. I feel a rush of
energy travelling up and down
my spine.
• Got really strong clarity, intention what important decided clear
focus, clarity, my core focus, this irritation like I don’t want to bother with
things that feel like distractions that are
pulling me away from who I want to be or what other obligations, like if
bunch stuff on table sweep it off throw it in the trash ...
Contained, Chaos inside, and Disintegration
“the remedy is contained – of its own choice.”
“I have resisted opening to the energy because I feel like I am unable
to manage it.”
“Little by little, destroying from within.”
Promethium is a radioactive element. Therefore, we see a deep issue with
instability. To compensate for this they will “contain” their power or energy
in the hopes that it will not
escape and become too large or too difficult to manage. This is similar
to the idea of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, who thinks he can manage this magical
energy, but it soon gets out
of hand once it is unleashed. It might be similar to Carcinosin
trying to control the chaos. For
Promethium the chaos is really about disintegration. To prevent this they need
to
hold tightly to things. This is another nod to the idea of “control
freaks.” While they can be carefree in a way, spontaneous things that might
involve performance are not a good
idea. This can translate into a desire of order. With this internal
chaos, they can easily feel overwhelmed. When this happens, they will get
irritable and want to be left alone.
The solution for this is to just have one task taken off their list,
then they will calm down. Another downfall of this situation is the fear of
actually being too powerful. This is
another inherent aspect that holds them back from being all that they
can be.
Contained of its own choice
• The remedy is in a cement compound; it's stuck in there and
can't get out. Might be against its will like a prison or concentration camp -
contained in this one area.
No, the remedy is contained - of its own choice. It is willingly there -
It doesn't want to be seen
• "Get out of here!"
The substance is encased in something and wants to be released.
It wants out of the vial.
Thousands of multicolored ping pong balls bouncing everywhere. Fluorescents,
green, pink, orange, blue ping pong balls. They are out in space,
bouncing all over every direction, I don't understand what brings them
back, but they are bouncing all over. It's chaos. It's crazy. I want to leave.
It's driving me crazy, too much
stimulation.
• Trapped, pulled back, not able to express. It is like you put blinders
on.
• Feeling is heavy, tense, rigid. Making me hold stuff in. Won't let me
go. I can't let everything go. It is being held in. I would like to breathe a
sigh of relief and let everything go...
The weight on my chest is keeping things in. Not allowing things to go
free.
• Instead of breathing in you stop and wait immobile so that you cannot
be penetrated or invaded. (A hand gesture) Hold off, wait, don't enter me.
• He won't say what's bugging him - he just goes out of communication.
Chaos inside, “I felt out of control of myself”
• There was only energy called chaos spinning and moving. And expands
and contracts and implodes and explodes. It is just what it is, it's pure
chaos, like being inside a storm.
• The remedy awakens energy flow - but it seems unable to work properly
without something to manage with love. I have resisted opening to the energy
because I feel like I
am unable to manage it.
• (The remedy) I don't willingly let it go. I'm afraid to do this.
• I felt out of control of myself and the situation. It did not take me
long to get reoriented, but I felt like I was under a great deal of pressure -
like a steam engine which is
building up, ready to explode.
• My energetic size is larger than my body, a big energy, my mind is
stuck on the image of a planet forming, things are bombarding it, radiation,
magnetic pull, earth forming,
continents forming, coming together, vibrating, very alive. Is this
crust that forms going to be able to
contain a planet or is it like a sun or something.
Disintegration, Dissolving, “Everything falling apart, disintegrating”
• Little by little, destroying from within. It is not like ten years, it
takes more and more... It's eats away. The being that is taken over, they feel
it happening, feel the destruction,
they desperately do what they can to survive. At a certain point, they
know it is coming, that it is almost over. At a certain point, they are too
long gone. Then the energy can
finish them off.
• I could experience entropy, I could experience everything falling
apart, falling away, disintegrating, then it is constrained (clapping hands
together).
• When others are disintegrating you just understand that's how it is;
they can make a choice to move toward the light or remain in the dark, farther
behind.
• Things aren't holding together the way they usually do (HG, like
holding a globe, or some energy, or a big something, trying to hold it together
somehow).
• (Dream) My molar fell out and instead of panic, I just held the tooth.
Then I looked at my hand and the whole bottom set of teeth were there in my
hand, grayish, discolored
in a bad way, held together by a brace. I was disconcerted, how could I
think it was just one tooth!? The doctor had said something about a bacteria...
• It is being eaten away at, decomposing, it's breaking down. It's
rotting. It's not what it used to be. It's dead. Crumbling. Not holding
together. Even composted, broken down
into soil and you can't recognize it anymore.
Desire for Order, “Energy around clearing out the spaces”
• I’m feeling antsy want to clean my house before my boyfriend comes
tonight
• (Dream) I've got to clean this entire building with one little rag in
my hand.
• Suddenly a lot of energy around clearing out the spaces, organizing.
Things on a list for some time are easily attended to, in a very organic and
serendipitous manner.
Easily Overwhelmed, “There is too much to do,” “Easily annoyed”
• All of a sudden, I am overwhelmed, it seems like there is too much to
do, it seems like it is too much, it seems, insurmountable, how am I supposed
to keep track of and
maintain all of that?
• My temper blew, I'd had enough. People were asking me questions about
things I didn't have answers for or time to research, and I couldn't handle it
anymore. I wanted to be
left alone, left to do my own thing. An extremely overwhelmed feeling,
like I had too much on my chest. I "fumed" for an hour until one of
my responsibilities disappeared
...then, fairly immediately my fuming started to come down, like I had a
tiny bit of room to breathe.
• I am not writing a journal, it's one of those irritable things. I am
opposed to doing it, I am telling my supervisor, I do not need to do it twice.
Easily annoyed, impatient.
A Battle against Evil “You die a hero or you become corrupted”
“Forces of light and dark were battling in the sky.”
This core dilemma is often represented by a battle.
For them, this is a battle between good and evil or between the light
and the dark. In their mind the evil side is very dark and very evil. It
represents injustice as well as harm to
innocent victims.
Archetypically this darkness is represented by most of the villains in
the movies; villains who threaten to kill innocent bystanders in order to get
their way. In this battle
between the good and the dark forces, the dark forces represent the
hidden potential, atomic power, within themselves.
A Battle, “The forces of light and dark were battling in the sky”
• (Dream) Forces of light and
dark were battling in the sky. It was like watching a martial arts competition,
even though the outcome was clearly more important, the forces
had to balance each other.
• This intense battle has been going on inside me.
• This book I read “Ender’s Game.” The world is training young people,
especially kids who are geniuses to be military commanders, this boy Ender is
the best of the best.
He must defeat the evil aliens. He is constantly playing games in school
that teach him or train him to be a military commander.
• (Dream) I was staying at a B & B in the UK with my family; we were
preparing for a battle that was to take place the following morning. There were
primitive weapons
strewn about and stockpiled. I was very fearful, filled with a sense of
dread for the coming war. But also angry, because I seemed the only one to
think it absurd and
senseless. At the start of the battle, I attempted to escape but was put
into a room and a large stone was rolled in front of the doorway.
Against Evil, Injustice, This Dark Force
• I want to protect myself. My image is sitting in the room facing him
and I feel like I am an island surrounded by sharks - actually worse than
sharks - evil dark forces.
• They are the light, they are people (like the Jews) and a soldier is
knocking down the door, that's like the death and taking over. They are scared,
they are terrified.
They need to be saved, they need Superman. Something big needs to come
to save them, not just one family, it's all of them. A big intervention. Coming
over the earth,
and Superman is over it protecting, and these people are the earth. They
are the innocent bystander.
The group force is going to come and wipe them out, it is death, a dark
shadow.
• (Dream) How can these people do this? How can they come here and
inflict harm? The stabbing violence, like hand to hand combat, the weapons
laying around were
Medieval. Like the Lord of the
Rings battle, axes for battle. I knew there would be horror and blood.
Good versus Evil. I was the good one. The evil, was impending, and it
was unstoppable. No one else thought I was good. No one else saw the injustice
of it.
• An energy, that is not tangible....Evil energy. Evil that doesn't care
about the consequences or others. It has one goal it will do anything to reach
that goal. It will step
on anything, it will take over you. Needing to be strong, “Rise up
against the enemy and be strong”
• A wind may blow by, the waters can flow by and the fire...but the
earth is a strong stable thing. The rock cannot move. It is strong. You have to
be strong as a rock to
stand up to a rock, rise up against the enemy and be strong.
• The Empire is trying to get Luke to join the Dark side of the force. And
Luke says "no" - he says... I'm afraid...
• They want to push against it. They want to threatened, they are
fighting with all the energy they have. The effort is all the effort they can
give to the LAST OUNCE.
Say one particle of the being is untouched, every other particle has to
be used to push against this. It's monumental.
• (Dream) I've got to clean this entire building with one little rag in
my hand. Pressure to get it right, “the Little Dutch Boy with his finger in the
dyke”
• I had the image of the Little Dutch Boy, putting his finger in the
dyke trying to hold the water in...panicked feeling, responsible, and very
aware.
• The change from light to dark. The axis, that's the scary part. Like
an image of triangle, you teeter from one to the other...Light on one side, if you
tip to dark, you can't
go back to the other. That is the axis. If you tip into the dark, you
CANNOT get back into the light.
• There’s tears behind my eyes of immense relief, I could set down a
burden and package holding up, thinking that I have to hold it up making
superhuman effort, don’t
have to hold up, been challenging self to suffer and effort
excessively...
• I'm feeling pressure from my husband and from responsibilities
weighing down on me; I'm doing so many little but important things for the
business, trying hard
to keep everything straight and not forget anything High stakes, “The loss of the battle, is loss
of yourself, of who you are”
• The dark energy is dead, everyone is the same...like a cloud that
comes and takes over everything, all black and dark and not be able to see and
recognize anything,
can't distinguish yourself from it. We are all encompassed by it. It
goes flat and black. It turns us all
into same thing. Then there are no individuals, no difference,
everything is the same
• Dismay at losing our times just the two of us, his apartment is quite
small. I feel pushed out on the street by the circumstances, even if we're all
just trying to do our best
to care for each other.
• (this thing taking over) it's a cloud, it absorbs into the person.
Something is coming in to the
person, and whatever is inside has to be pushed out. All the inside stuff is
shoved against the shell and energy is shoved out.
• When people make you cave, it's a little death.
• You die a hero or you become corrupted and take children captive ...
or live long enough to see yourself become the bad guy.
Heavy and Deep Underground
“I am under the ground, not easy to find, heavy, very heavy, you have to
work hard to get me”
“It made me feel heavy and trapped in my body.”
“There is gold there but it is buried and protected by the physical
body.”
Most lanthanides will have an aspect of hiding, and Promethium has this
as well. Because this mineral is found deep underground, this “deep” aspect is
seen in the
remedy. They are concerned with “deeper” issues, superficial topics
don’t interest them as much. There can also be “deep grief” associated, which does
not come to
the surface easily. They can also experience the sensation of
“Heaviness” – similar to what you might find in other heavy metals.
Deep underground, “I am under the ground, not easy to find”
• It is a deep pain. I feel it deep in my heart. It is suffocating. Drawing
the energy from my throat, mouth and jaw into my heart. Collapsing inward.
• I am under the ground, not easy to find, heavy, very heavy, you have
to work hard to get me, to find me. It is not impossible, but you have to work
hard to find it.
Something deep underground. Very heavy, it goes down and down, it
probably takes other things with it down, because of the heaviness.
• The problem is a practical down to earth situation, but I am always
looking for a deeper meaning.
• I tend to hold on to things as well but it gets buried in my solar
plexus - upset stomach - my power is buried. There is gold there but it is
buried and protected by the
physical body. I have some skin eruptions on my stomach area almost like
they are the power trying to get out - or - perhaps they present an ugly
appearance and ward
off people so that I am protected.
• (Dream) a small group of people who had a yellow plastic flimsy tube,
maybe four feet in diameter, that they were putting into the ocean through a
hole in the room
we were in; they were attaching it somehow to the ocean floor and
letting people go down to the bottom to experience the ocean floor; I wanted to
try, so I jumped
into the yellow tube and slid down, it was a cushy ride because the
plastic was like the plastic on a water bed, not hard plastic; gravity took me
down, and it was a
little scary because it was a dark hole into the ocean, down and down,
and the plastic wasn't hard so it felt like I wasn't so protected; but I didn't
think much of fears,
I trusted; got to the bottom and couldn't see anything. The second time
I went down, I had a strong urge to go for some reason, though I don't know what
that reason
was, and it was devastating when I came up because I knew that the
experience was over forever because of the hole and because of the possible
consequences of being
caught in there while filling up (like drowning); I felt it was horrible
and tragic for the experience to be gone forever, but I was so thankful to have
gotten the chance to
go down there one last time
• A sudden longing to connect and to be understood on a deep level.
Hiding, Fear to be exposed, “It doesn’t want to be seen, protecting”
• It doesn't want to be seen - protecting, defensive mechanism, if it's
seen it's exposed. It's not safe for it maybe. It feels like it knows it is
this dark energy in a certain
way - it knows that I don't want it to come out fully. I'm really not
that great.
• It is just that you want to touch, you want to reach out, you want to
make contact, and then you pull back. The synapse doesn't quite make it. You
almost touch
and you pull back. You just barely connect, if you do not pull back you
will cease to exist, you have to pull back. Apprehension. Quite a bit of
apprehension,
anticipation, wariness, and yet you're drawn to make contact.
• I feel like I need to hide. It results in hiding my light under a
bushel so that I do not get hurt.
• Unattainable = something you can't have it easily
• Really exciting this idea of wandering, like I get to scoot around,
dig in the dirt, find hidden treasures, just look around for absolutely no good
reason.
• Not being seen fully. Dark. You can't see. Like being in the dark
without a flashlight, can't suss them out. It's hidden in a certain way.
• Hiding, waiting for something to happen.
Detached and Distant
“It takes me a while to understand that this is not a game; this is life
or death; and still, this is not a game, yet it feels like a game.”
“My stability comes from keeping people and things at a distance.”
In they desire for clarity, they try to detach from situations so they
can see more clearly. Being detached and distant is a difficulty for them as
they also crave “deep”
human interaction. In this detached state, they can be relatively calm
in a situation that might otherwise be stressful. It is as if they are rising
above and not engaged
in the minutia of everyday life. They have this interesting perspective
that life is a bit of a game. It’s as if they have inside information/knowledge.
They are watching
people and their earthly sagas with a bit of detachment,
They will be absent-minded and easily distracted.
They can become easily unmotivated, complaisant and procrastinating. It
is just sometimes too monumental for them to act. At other times they can be
very industrious
and creative when they are motivated.
Detached, “Observing from afar”
• Observed, watching from a little bit afar. It like a different world, it's separate. I'm
here, I'm in my own, it is not going to come into my area. We are separated by
something. Calm and quiet and look at that.
• Like opium, you are there and are not, dull to pain you know you will
endure, numb to go with them...
• I worry that my son is not as engaged in life as he could be, that he
might be suffering from a lack of human connection.
• The Fairchild Symbol is the Barbed Wire Fence Protecting Grazing
Cattle In A Field. I have used my energies to create a barrier around my
emotions and my life.
It is like a barbed wire fence - not that anyone gets cut by the fence.
My stability comes from keeping people and things at a distance.
• I kind of feel like I am in a dream state, a little floaty. Although I
feel stressed it is not penetrating.... I don't feel like I am ignoring this. It
is like I am standing back
and watching this process.
• It's as if I can see my past in a retrospective without the emotional
attachment.
• (Dream) I was living in a commune type environment and with something
going to happen where it would be the end of the world. It was not frightening
- it was all
very logical...
Dream was calm and calculated not panic like you would expect in an end
of the world dream.
• I have felt like a giant or extremely tall throughout this proving. I
am only 5'8", but I feel like I am looking down at the earth or my feet
from a distance.
Tranquility, Calm, “Everything is fine”
• Everything is fine, if I cannot change it, everything the way it is fine.
I'd like to change things the way I'd
like to be better, I knew I couldn't, made me angry.
But after the remedy, it was
fine. It wasn't that important any more.
• So relaxed, I'm not very productive or proactive; it's hard for me to
help set up the booth like I usually do, I just sit and write price tags or
talk to vendors next door.
• This Proving remedy for me seems to be considerably toning down the
“worry-itis” for me. I am still experiencing tranquility throughout my day
& am grateful for
the peace of mind & heart that are pronounced
• It's like being out in space, in the universe, but it's inside of it,
like subatomic space. This is not dissimilar to being out in nature, simple,
peaceful. Knowing exactly
where you are.
• I'm in peace. I don't have any emotional feelings. I have clear
thoughts. I see the cloud but I don't feel it in my head like I have been. I
don't feel confused like I have
been. I don't have it in my head; my head is clear. Inside I feel peace,
nothing else
• This is the peaceful, serene. Bible like. Shepard by a stream. As if
in a game
• It is like a huge game that everyone must play, but not everyone wants
to play.
• (Dream) I am deep in space. I suddenly realize that I am swimming in
space, in the void or darkness of deep space, I am an immature dolphin, there
are fish swimming
around me; I am oblivious, playful, and care free....then a shark
attacks me, still I am in my own world, my family surrounds me and protects me; they defend
me; it
takes me a while to understand that this is not a game; this is life or death;
and still, this is not a game, yet it feels like a game.
• (Dream) About a snake by my feet, no anxiety about it, just matter of
fact, non-reaction to it. I just moved away and felt safe. Just as though the
snake was a piece of
Paper.
• What I anticipate to be difficult & complicated turns out to be quite
effortless & easy....and again, a feeling of 'all is well' & no
worries. I have been enjoying a sense
of well-being that is almost palpable
• Nervous it was going to be dark. Instead of dealing with the dark,
I've decided to turn it off.
Humor, “like everything about life is a practical joke”
• I feel like I have a shit eating grin on my face. Like everything
about life is a practical joke.
• (Dream) The shrine is like a tabernacle, a shrine, like a focusing
kind of place, it focuses your attention, your spiritual attention. The thing
that keeps coming, that I
want to reject is about laughter, laughing, the character on the
microwave shrine is laughing, the person who drew the hieroglyphic like
character was laughing, a
joyful, good-hearted laughter (deep sigh).
• What is the point of living if you don’t laugh.
Absentminded, Forgetful, “I’ve been making strange mistakes”
• I'm driving back from soccer and I went to our old house!! We moved
from that house 2.5 months ago and I have never done that during that last 2.5
months.
• I have been making strange mistakes, putting double the postage
required on packages. Filing charts for patients I haven't yet seen. Setting
things down in an
unusual place and walking away. Forgetful and absentminded.
• After class today, I realized I forgot my keys at home and locked
myself out of my house.
• Knew I had a phone appointment but didn't remember who it was with.
• Prover forgot to call supervisor as scheduled.
Avoiding conflict, Complaisant, Procrastination, “Why even bother to fight”
• Lying down in the middle of wherever... like inevitable, they are
going to take you over, why even bother, you are defeated.
Why even bother to fight.
• I would much prefer to float away into my brow and crown chakra and avoid
confrontational interaction.
• Afraid of it. It's going to stir something up and not ready to have it
stirred
• Building sense of dread and fear. How can I escape, how can I avoid
this situation.
• I will try to take notes, something interrupts and I find an excuse
not to do it.
• Aware that there are decisions I need to make and situations I am
avoiding hoping it plays out.
• I didn't want to start the remedy - that's why I didn't answer your
email - I was avoiding...
• Had many things to do, but found myself just kind of taking it easy
and avoiding the work.
Industrious, “All of a sudden I felt an inner motivation”
• I just all of a sudden felt an inner motivation, I am pretty laid back
most of the time. All of a sudden I wanted to do this. It was a beautiful fall
day and I was industrious.
• I am stepping out, I have made my choices. I have chosen. I am on my
way.
• I did an hours worth of Mixed Martial Arts, this substance makes me
feel stronger than I am. I have more industriousness (a increase to my already
normal industrial way).
I am now about to start working at 7 h.
Self‐realization “Why do you forget your goodness? If you remember
that you always had a choice your life would be completely different.”
For Promethium it is about self-realization or self-actualization. It is
about becoming all that a person can be, “A truer expression of themselves”. For
them, they can only do
this will bringing others with them.
The light is representative on many levels of self-actualization. The
light is also reflective of “goodness” and “selflessness.” Spirituality +/o. religions
will be of interest to them.
They may also have confusion in this area as other lanthanides can have
as what they know inside is not being seen in the people around them.
The light, “A white light, a pure essence of being”
• Light. Light is energy. Light from the sun, it changes, it's
changeable. It can be bright, small, or large, it can fill a whole area, a tiny
pin prick, burning, no heat at all.
It can help you to see or blind
you. Cause things to grow or it can kill things. Like a force.
• A white light = pure essence of being. Beyond this plane of existence, it's pure
energy. It's like where we all come from, it's everything, it's consciousness.
• I see white, light blue, like a beautiful blue sky with a cloud
floating in it.
• Rainbow light, diamond light, emerald light, ruby light, star sapphire
light, opal light, and topaz light, every light leading to the Inner Light or
the clearest of lights.
• The penetrating warmth of the sun. I love to sit in the sun on a cool
day.
• This light reminds me of peace, inner peace, calm, happiness, hope.
It's good, it's goodness, it's something that you always want, but don't always
remember.
• Saw a nuclear bomb. There is dark and light to nuclear bomb, explosion
itself is fire and light. It creates a spark a (pchoo!) it gives off some
light.
• I am out walking along Lake Michigan. The sunlight is hitting the
waves. It is moving and jumping like rain, drops of light falling on the waves.
I am mesmerized and
peaceful. A calm comes over me.
Self-realization, “They can make a choice to move toward the light or
remain in the dark”
• I'm becoming a truer expression of myself.
• Everything is just relaxing, I am light, layers slough off me, and
melt down, like water, or an oil, that slides and glides easily, melting, rolling
down. It just sort of pours off me.
Layers of accumulation flow off, melt off, down and off. I become more
and more my pure structure, my true self, without any extra padding or defending.
• Our church is currently engaged in a series called 'Toxic.' I am
finally gaining much headway with long overdue clutter piles. It's like, 'out
with the old/in with the new.
• They can make a choice to move toward the light or remain in the dark,
farther behind. The vortex has an enormous power to it. Sometimes you can't
tell if the light is radiating
out of you or the vortex, you become confused in a way. It's flowing
into me, that feels really nice, warm, light, and powerful. Why can't you
remember this light and it's goodness?
Why do you forget your goodness? If you remember that you always had a
choice your life would be completely different.
• (Dream) I am asked to escort a celestial being, a goddess, through a
modern European city. There is a shopping center or mall (an outdoor mall) with
three layers, we appear
on the lowest level. There is some reenactment happening off of a
stairwell to our right. The goddess just floats a few feet off the ground, as though
there were molecules between
her feet and the ground, space between. She appears as one would imagine
an alien being to appear, as though she is taking it all in, but not triggered
by the daily interactions
of the humans around her. There are two enormous escalators on each side
of the mall, they are covered by permanent canopies, we are riding up and
something catches her eye,
jewels, diamonds, sapphires, rubies, pearls, in a shop. Her hair is
silver, she has a blue dress on, her eyes match her dress, a kind of
steel-blue; I am wearing a lapis lazuli colored robe.
She runs over giggling now; I tell her, "Remember to keep your composure."
She lovingly handles the gems and pearls. I have the sense that the people at
the mall worship this
celestial being, even though they aren't yet aware that she is walking
amongst them. Then we go up again, to the third level, there is a street
vendor, on the third level there is a river
that is flowing swiftly, the street vendor is pan frying salmon and
herbs in butter and white wine sauce. The goddess wants to eat some of the
salmon. She does so as though she
is eating something for the first time. There are three salmon filets in
the pan (I remember seeing this image in my mind's eye before). Suddenly,
throngs of children run toward
us, they are carrying offerings of exotic flowers and jewels (like those
we saw in the store on the second level). The children break into song (the
Lone Wild Bird).
The celestial being and I her escort begin to dance like two birds ten
feet off the ground (in order to fly, I must use my Ujjaiya pranayama; my skin
turns blue). Now we are
surrounded by the children and their teachers and their tutors, and
their parents and grandparents. We are in the midst of a great game and Bhakti
celebration. The goddess tells
me that she loves me and I weep... Then I turn and I wake up. Between
the real and the unreal, Parallel worlds
• Intermediaries are shaman figures they are messengers and gatekeepers
to other realities and ways of seeing/being.
• Do I want something more earthly?... exciting sex, more earthly things
or do I really want this peace and clarity that comes from a deeper
understanding.
• It's kinesthetic. The bubbles are like the whole universe that are
captured by this dome, pavilion, a foot and a half above my head, that sort of
like a part of me that opens up to
pick up things like a receptor. I think that the two are connected but
it is a different quality of integration that I have never been aware of
before.
• The vortex is a spinning disc of light, it is like the spinning wheel
of a universe, but not our universe. A different universe, that is like ours,
but slightly different. A black screen,
like a different channel of the same universe.
For a Higher Purpose, Balance, Unification
• To take this energy, this sexual energy and to transform it into
something that is a higher purpose.
• The qualities of this person include the ability to accomplish what
others can't or won't attempt to because they fear that they cannot.
The fear that they can't accomplish the task is a disappointment. Yeah,
a disappointment that you might fail to accomplish what must be accomplished. I
don't want to be a
disappointment or disappoint others. This is not a team sport, but you
are playing for many people.
• To be a balanced person. This is hard. To integrate it into my life so there
is harmony and balance.
Right now it feels just up and down, when someone is raising their
vibration, thru healing, when you fall or stumble there is a greater distance
to fall. The highs are higher but
the lows are lower.
• Sensation of what bottom of ocean feels like pull tidal a rocking
feeling back and forth a rocking feeling, a unity somehow feels very complete
.... like I’m really feeling like I’m one with all the atoms in whole world
part of whole world in here or you
permeability
maybe boundaries aren’t so clear so it not disturbing I know I’m me and not the
pillow like we are all one god
• In this proving, we are all separate, me and the other provers, and
yet I can feel them inside of me, separate and intimately linked.
The interconnectedness of all being and all things.
• Sometimes I'm so expansive, these feelings are so expansive, I love
everybody, I'm connected to everybody.
Creativity, Creating
• (Dream) It was a very happy feeling of surprise that I could so easily
make music with others...never mind that I was in an unfamiliar place with
several people I did not know
who I believed were retarded & also playing instruments that were
not familiar or common. But the music we made together and the sounds were so
very lovely. I was thrilled
& felt a sense of unity and accomplishment, even though I had not
practiced previously or even knew what the heck I was doing.
• It's about your imagination, imagining a potential future, that's what
that (HG hand waving energy) imagining that what that vibration is, creative force,
a man and a woman
can pop out a kid, that's a creative force...
Self‐reproach
“You do not accomplish what you set out to do. Shameful.”
They can be extremely self-critical. They will feel guilty and reproach
themselves very easily. You won’t see this expressed as much. They can often
avoid conflicts for fear of
making a mistake or making someone angry.
• I feel bad I messed it up, I should do better next time. I have to correct my mistakes. She will be mad
at me.
• Talked to someone last night, feeling really bad last night haven’t
been paying much attention to writing things down, feeling guilty and some
shame
• To turn away from it, like being a good wife... a good wife or a bad
wife, am I a good student or a bad student...?
• (Dream) When I realized that my car was stuck, felt guilty and
apologized since these people had been assembled for this task.
• You do not accomplish what you set out to do. Shameful.
• Still, quite disruptive things happening. Big things, and yet they
work out quickly and work out easily. A feeling of stupidity.
• After he left, I started feeling stupid because I'd just given my
personal information to a stranger without verifying a police badge or even
looking to see if his car was actually
a police car; I felt a bit vulnerable and immediately thought the man
might now use my personal information to commit identity theft or steal money;
it was a bit hard for me to go to sleep after that because of my
worrying;
• Like something behind me, just out of my sight,... feel pull back and
reminds me of obligations.
• (Dream) My grandmother has been in a hospice for 8 years. I haven't
seen her this entire time. I'm in Chicago and tell my sister that I want to see
her. I cry. How could I have
forgotten to visit her.