Helodrilus caliginosus (Helod-c) = Gardenworm
Offensichtlich ist es nicht klar wie Helodrilus und wie Lumbricus aussehen.
Helodrilus ist Gardenworm, beheimatet in N. Amerika nach Louis Klein
Lumbricus beheimatet in Europa
= Hyper.- Schießen;
Negativ: „Wie Würmer zu fühlen“ und weiche/zurückziehende Ausstrahlung .
„der Konflikt zwischen Moral und Verlangen“. intensive Sexträume (ehebrecherisch/inzestuös) + große Reue + Schuldgefühle erwachend.
Glaubt kriminell zu sein = völlig unbegründet (fälschlich beschuldigt).
Hernien der Bandscheiben
Mentale Ebene der Idee der Hernienbildung: weiche/elastische Impulsivität „Wie Gelee“. Emotionen verhalten sich „Wie ein elastisches Band o. Bungee-Seil“. Schwache Impulskontrolle + keine Härte vorhanden („Wie nachgebende Verformung“. Halbautistischen (Asperger-Syndrom)/autistisch.
Sozial unbeholfene/sich zurückziehende Art/braucht Zeit mit sich allein zu sein weil verletzlich gegenüber Kritik/Energien anderer Menschen/beschuldigt von nicht Begangenes, wird in der Schule/bei der Arbeit gepiesackt. Sie nehmen Anklagen auf sich (geringfügige/bauschen das unnötig auf) Introvertiert, Selbstversunken („Wie Autismus“). Braucht Unterstützung/Rückversicherung obwohl sie keine Verbindung herstellen. Aggressives Verhalten folgt GewissensBISSE.
Erscheint weich/entspannt + innerlich wegen Fehlern verspannt und auf äußere Einflüsse verklemmt reagierend. Sie haben einen schuldbewussten und doch arglosen Gesichtsausdruck und können in ihrem Verhalten und Ausdruck ein beinahe karikaturartiges Bild abgeben. „Als ob von irgendetwas zurückgehalten“ dadurch leicht eingeschüchtert. Sind niemals bedrohlich.
Ältere Patienten haben eine Ausstrahlung mit unbeholfenen, komischen, fast cartoon ähnlichen Gesten und Verhaltensweisen.
Fixiert auf Mittelalter/Fantasien über Schlösser;
TCM: senkt Blutdruck/beeinflusst die Kontrolle der glatten Muskulatur/getestet bei der Behandlung von Krämpfen.
- Zustand von Wind (Gallenblasenmeridian) und Hitzesymptome. (< Wind in der Prüfung)
- Unterdrückt Hitze und löst Krämpfe. Wird bei warmen fieberhaften Erkrankungen mit hohem Fieber gebraucht, die zu Konvulsionen und Anfällen führen.
- Treibt Wind aus.
- Gegen keuchende, pfeifende Atmung; Lungenhitze.
Repertorium: [Louis Klein]
Gemüt: Angst (kalt werden/Gewalt)
Anderen abgeneigt/möchte alleine sein/versorgt sein
Gleichgültig, Apathie/stilles Wesen/dreht sich nachdenkend im Kreis um sich selbst/traurig
Reue (nach einem sexuellen Traum)
Wahnidee von psychischen Kräften, negativen Mächten besessen/ist ein Verbrecher/ist falschlich beschuldigt/
Langsames und dümmliches Aussehen
An Pflichten gebunden
Impulsives negatives Verhalten (sexuell?/stehlen?)gefolgt von Reue
Wahne „Als ob besessen“/“Wie alt“
Still/spricht wenig (abgeneigt)
Sprechen = Husten
Verlangt einzukaufen (ungewöhnliche Stoffe/blau/türkis/geblümt/ Schmuck)
Fehler (Auto fahrend/Gegenstände)
ist in Eile
„Als ob trunken“
Kopf: im Allgemeinen
Schmerz in Schläfen (l./scharf)/seitlich (r./l./scharf)
Nase: Absonderung klar/wässrig
Niesen (< Essen)
Schmerz in Septum l. (bohrend)
Gesicht: Gefühllos, taub (Kinn/Unterlippe)/Kribbeln
Mund: Abszess des Zahnfleisches
Innenseite zwischen Kiefer und Kinn taub/“Wie auf Innenseite gebissen“
Füllungen fallen aus
Innerer Hals: im Allgemeinen
Schmerz (wund schmerzend)
Geschwollene (Tonsillen r./l.)/Mandeln „Wie geschwollen“ einseitig, r. o. l.
„Wie Enge o. Völle im Hals und Nacken“
Äußerer Hals: Geschwollene Halsdrüsen
Magen: Appetit - fehlend/vermehrt/Durst
Bauch: Blähungen (laut/mit Schleim)
Rektum: Blutung aus dem Anus
Blasen: „Als ob nicht gelehrt“
Urin: riecht kräftig
Weibliche Genitalien: Schmerz in Ovarien (krampfartig)
Kitzelhusten, durch Kitzeln
durch Schleim in der Brust/trocken
Atmung: Atemnot, Dyspnoe, erschwertes Atmen
Giemen, keuchend pfeifendes Atmen
mühsam (< Anstrengung)
Husten: + Sprechen (> Wärme)
Auswurf: Schwer auf zu bringen
Brust: im Allgemeinen
Blutandrang zur Brust
Schwäche + Husten
Schwere Bronchitis mit Kribbeln im Hals und „Als ob nicht genug Sauerstoff bekommt“
Langdauernde Brustleiden: Schwäche, Asthma
Brennen in Lungen/Pfeifen/
Rücken: im Allgemeinen
Steif (in Zervikalregion)
„Wie Zusammenschnürung o. eines Bandes“ in Zervikalregion
Schmerz in Herzgegend/stumpf/unter Schulterblätter /“Als ob sich öffnet“/ „Als ob ausdehnt“/Schmerz im Nacken (wund)
Glieder: Gefühllos, taube (Armen/Rücken/Gesicht/Unterlippe zum Kinn)
Kribbeln (in Arme/in Füße/in Unterschenkel)
Schweregefühl/„Wie leicht“ in Arme/Unterschenkel
Geschwollene - Füße/Hände/Unterschenkel
Flattern mit Händen/Beine
Beine „Wie vergrößert“, Schwellung der Hände und Füße
Gelenke geschwollen/Gelenke knacken
Beinen schwer/Bewegung schwierig („Als ob laufend durch Sand“)/unbeholfen
Schlaf: Tief/verändert häufig die Lage
< aufwachend (irritiert/geschwollen/müde)/> sich bewegend/schläft ein lesend/unruhig
Träume: Aufregend/Basketball zu spielen/von Behinderten/Boote/von College Campus/von Durchfall/von erbrechen/Erdbeben/erotisch/von alten Freunde/von (bewundernswerte) Gebäuden/einem wird geholfen wird/Gewalttätigkeit/gleichgültig gegenüber Leiden/ein Haus zu bauen (wie das Haus ihrer Jugend/mit vielen Zimmern)/Hunde/von Neugeborenen/lebhaft/Musik/Mutter/ist schwanger/Pferde (Reiten)/Polizei/Reisen mit Flugzeug/Reue/mittelalterliche Schlösser/Schwester/sexuelle Perversion/springt aus einer Flugzeug/Stehlen/Tiere (Tieren, ½ Tier, ½ Mensch/wilde)/Überschwemmung/unerinnerlich, bleiben nicht im Gedächtnis(Unfälle (mit dem Auto/Furcht vor einem Autounfall)/Verfolgt zu werden (von Räubern)/Verletzungen (Säugling)/Viele/von Vögeln in einem Käfig/Wasser
Fieber: mit Krämpfe/rezidivierend
Frost: < Kälte/Frost # Hitze
Haut: Hautausschläge - Pickel/Ekzem < Winter
Hämatom/bekommt leicht blaue Flecken
Allgemeines: > im Freien/> Bewegung
Speisen und Getränke. Verlangt: Eiscreme/fast food;
< Wind („Als ob durch Torso weht“)/< Kälte
Verletzungen, Unfälle, Autounfälle - Schleudertrauma
Wunden schwellen an/leine Wunden eitern
Gut gefolgt von: Tub.
Vergleich: Enthält: O + Fe im Blut; Arenicola marina (= Wattwurm/find their food by filtering watt sediment). Helod-c. (= Regenwurm find their food by filtering earth). Lumbricus terrestris.
(= Regenwurm find their food by filtering earth). Cypraea eglantina. (filters seawater).
DD.: Sulph. RNA Graph. Petr. Calc. Tell-met. Arn. Art-vg.
Amph. Edelgase (= Stadium 18). Abs. Cartoon-ähnlich.
Siehe: Wurmgruppe + Zwitter + bereiten Lebensraum vor für anderen + Annelidae
Allerlei: Lebt von verfaultem Pflanzenmaterial
AußerordentLICH wertvoll, da sie den Boden durch ihre beständige Durchwanderung gesund erhalten/gut belüften/entwässern.
Sie haben einen Muskelmagen, der ähnlich dem von Vögeln arbeitet. Kleine Sandkörnchen liegen im Muskelmagen und helfen dabei, harte Substanzen zu kleineren Partikeln zu zermahlen. Blut ist menschlichen ähnLICH (Sauerstofftransports durch eisenhaltiges Hämoglobin).
Vertragen Hitze noch Sonnenlicht. Regenwürmer haben keine Lunge und nehmen Sauerstoff über die Haut auf. Eine trockene Haut bedeutet den Erstickungstod für den Regenwurm. Der Schleim, der
von der Haut des Wurms abgesondert wird, unterstützt die Atemfunktion, erleichtert die Fortbewegung durch den Boden und stabilisiert die Wände neu gebildeter Tunnel. Regenwürmer haben keine Augen und können nicht hören. Eine Ansammlung von Sensorzellen an ihrem vorderen Ende nimmt Licht und Erschütterungen wahr. Der schlanke Körper eines Regenwurms ist in zahlreiche Segmente unterteilt (100 o. mehr). Da der Wurm keine Gliedmaßen hat, bewegt er sich mit Hilfe auf einander folgende peristaltische Wellen vorwärts, welche die Segmente entlang des Körpers erst ausdehnen
und dann zusammenziehen. Jedes Segment besitzt ein Paar Borsten, die als Zugpunkte fungieren.
Die Würmer verfügen über eine bemerkenswerte Regenerationsfähigkeit. Sie können keinen neuen Kopf regenerieren, jedoch einen neuen Schwanz. Sie vermehren sich nicht durch „Teilung“, sondern durch Paarung. Obwohl sie Zwitter sind, vermehren sie sich doch durch die Kopulation von zwei Würmern. Bei der Paarung erfolgt die gegenseitige Übertragung von Sperma durch einen temporären Hautkanal; darauf gleitet ihr Clitellum (ein sattelähnlicher Ring) den Körper entlang, um befruchtete Eier aufzusammeln. Dieser Sattel wird dann zu einem Kokon, welcher knapp unter der Erdoberfläche abgelegt wird. Die jungen Würmer schlüpfen nach einigen Wochen. Körper = 70% Eiweiß (geliebt bei Vögel/Schnecken/Maulwurf/Füchse). Der Gemeine Regenwurm (gemeinsam mit einigen anderen häufigen Regenwurmarten, dem „night crawler“ und „green worm“) war ursprünglich nicht in Nordamerika beheimatet. Sie wurden im 17. und 18. Jahrhundert unabsichtlich von europäischen Siedlern eingeführt. Regenwürmer sind glitschig und schleimig und rufen verschiedene Assoziationen hervor. Im Gegensatz zur Furcht wie vor giftigen Kreaturen kommt gewöhnlich erst eine gewisse Abscheu über das schleimige und weiche Aussehen des Regenwurms auf, welche dann von einem beschützenden Gefühl abgelöst wird
Der Maulwurf fängt Regenwürmer in Gängensystem, wann Regenwurm morgens zurückkehrt in tiefere Lagen.
I chose earthworm for a number of reasons. One was at the urging of a number of friends and students who were Doctors of Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture. Earthworm has been used for hundreds
ofyears in Chinese medicinal concoctio. The other consideration was looking at other remedies that were well proven. The current trend is to potentize substances such as venoms etc. for consideration in
aggressive and egocentric patients. I found, though, that most people, especially those seeking our help, don’t feel poisonous and aggressive but rather small. They feel as small as a worm, or worm like,
Requirements for Potentization, Preparation and Ingestion
Michael Quinn of the Hahnemann Pharmacy, San Rafael, CA potentized the remedy is available from them- http://hahnemannlabs.com.
Each prover took one dose of the 30c. One prover took two doses. The proving was done in California and the final extraction meeting was done in Berkeley, California.
Helodrilus Caliginosus: Common Field Worm or the common field worm occurs throughout the humid areas of the country (USA).
It is more common than the native night-crawler, particularly in the southern states. The field worm may prevail in the same locality as the nightcrawler if the fertility level is too low
for the nightcrawler. The field worm is not a good reproducer nor particularly adaptable to commercial production.
“From Earthworms for Ecology and Profit”, Volume #1 By Ronald E Gaddie and Donald E Douglas
In other words its a “wild worm” versus one grown for commercial use.
Facts you always wanted to know about earthworms:
There are actually over 1800 species of earthworms.
Earthworms are invertebrates. They are also called annelids because of the circular rings or many segments that make up their body.
Earthworms are extremely valuable creatures as they keep soil healthy, well aired and drained with their constant burrowing.
Worms are used commercially for “vermin-compost”. Vermicompost contains worm castings and other organic materials left by earthworms.
Worms have little capacity to grind their food. They have a muscular gizzard which functions similarly to that of birds. Small grains of sand lodge in the gizzard and help grind hard materials into smaller particles. The ground up food enters the worm’s intestine The intestine secrets digestive enzymes. The food is then absorbed into the bloodstream.
The blood of the worm is amazingly similar to ours, having the same function of carrying oxygen, and having iron-rich hemoglobin as its base.
Worms have a remarkable ability to regenerate but perhaps not of the same sort as fables tell. They cannot regenerate a new head but will regenerate a new tail. They do not reproduce via “cuttings” but via copulation. Even though they have organs of both sexes they still reproduce with two worms. They join at the saddle. This saddle then becomes a cocoon and this is left just under the soil. Young worms hatch out from it after a few weeks.
An even more interesting fact you always wanted to know about earthworms:
Earthworms are slippery and slimy and evoke all sorts of reactions. Usually, unlike a fear of venomous creatures there is primarily an initial disgust over the earthworm’s slimy and soft exterior and
then a protective feeling (unless you are a young boy with plans).
There is some current research into the effects of Lumbricus or Chinese Earthworm. It has significantly lowered blood pressure and has an effect on smooth muscle control as well as it is being tested in treating convulsions.
Di Long: literal translation: “earth dragon”
From Chinese medicine texts and discussions with Chinese medicine practitioners here are just some of the conditions this substance is known to treat:
Condition of wind (gallbladder meridian) and heat symptoms. Note: proving < wind.
-Quells heat and stops spasms. Used in Warm febrile diseases with high fever that lead to - convulsion and seizures
-Stops wheezing; lung heat
Section Day/Time Prover Symptom
Mind: 00 04 The world of nature felt very soft and simmery.
Feel giddy as if drunk or tipsy. I tried hard to overcome it, willing to make the effort.
Rode my horse, feel very rooted.
Can feel my legs from the inside distinctly.
Feel more relaxed. Last couple of weeks was wearing my shoulders on ears. Better.
Felt emotions more strongly than usual while reading a fairy tale to daughter.
Was late getting daughter to Mom's house where she sleeps. Felt a headache, normally would have developed into a situation where I would have been angry.
(Observations of supervisor): Prover 04 definitely sounded more relaxed and less precise, not inaccurate, just more relaxed. There was a slightly cheerful, pleased tone, like a "pal" maybe.
She asked my opinion more, on small matters, almost child-like. I don't know her well, but this seemed a change. A little more open. Calm, at ease, observant, comfortable to talk to. At ease in expressing her opinion.
Feel very quiet inside. Cannot be hurried. Walked very slowly, feel no see of impatience.
At times I felt like I was tripping.
Don't want to go inside. Want to be in the open air, in the sun.
Am I writing down enough stuff and doing it ok?
Supervisor asks, How does your head feel?: (sighs) Something's different. It feel fine. Something different (underline different). Not big enough or pronounced enough. Can't put finger on it.
A modified version of when you do mushrooms, organic psilocybin. And it goes along with the body awareness. It’s a very fine vibration. Noting to irritate. A vibration in the cells. A little faster,
mildly pleasant. Makes me more body aware. I tend to be more in head. Now feel bottoms of feet. Started with
pelvis, then went down to feet.
Thought what if it got worse everyday and I couldn't life my feet up? (Re: the feeling feet could root).
Notice a lot of white moths outside and RS even inside.
Of not finding a parking place in Chinatown. I just drove around until I found one. I didn't realize how often I feel hurried. I've had days off in a row before. Internal see of not being
hurried. (Sentence underlined). I just didn't care. (Sentence underlined.)
I was thinking I feel too good! I'm not getting very much done!. Didn't have the right thing to wear today. Must be a plant, wanted something flowered. Reserve area of my clothes, that
I looked through for something. Not feminine, but in that vein of softees.
Would have been fine to not talk today.
Things that normally would pressure me didn't. (Sentence underlined). Just little things -- my riding schedule.
If anything gets in the way, it can be disruptive.
Today I wanted to be able to let the horse run wild in the arena, but there were a lot of other people so I couldn't. I instead of being preoccupied, I didn't care. (Last sentence underlined.)
Had a nice walk, then to Chinatown to pick up new contact. While I did that, I concentrated more, on the car, etc.
Noticed nature quite distinctly especially trees and shrubs. Saw the outlines of their leaves so precisely.
(Supervisor asks what clothes she chose). White tee-shirt with white embroidered flowers. Antique skirt white material was Gramma's wedding slip. Embroidered flowers at hem..
Label at back poked neck, so later changed. Soft white long underwear and sage green top, feels good.
I talked to people today. I was friendly (Laughts gently). Usually I have an agenda, a schedule. Talked to 2 different neighbors--sitting down and relaxing.
An effort for me to carry on a conversation with somebody like the neighbors, ordinarily. It was fine, comfortable, I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't comfortable.
The world seems to have slowed down.
I walked up to a larger bush with yellow flowers and realized it was the fragrance I had been smelling and looking for six weeks. The sweet lemon-like aroma that has filled the air for weeks.
Feel my feet could root.
Wanted to look at trees and shrubs. At the top of our hill the breeze was stronger and the different larger trees made each a distinctive sound and became like a soft song of trees.
Supervisor (I ask about communication with the dog and horse): I had a good ride with my horse. I was better off with my horse. They have a lot of visualization you can do, like being a
tree. I did things I've been trying hard to do, like making traitio, being centered. I had less fear today. I don't know about Teddy (the dog). She ranaway from me after the walk. She didn't want to
come in the house. It didn't seem personal. Now she is in near by my feet. That's how I ended up to talking to the neighbor.
Difficult reading out loud. Tongue wouldn't work quite right. Stumbled over words then got very emotional about what person had wrote to us and started to cry. Felt touched and open in my heart.
Price, peaceful everything is okay.
The whole world looked grim and violent. Bizarre energy. Are other provers experiencing similar things? As long as nobody was getting killed (laugh).
Lightened see of awareness.
Over the last two weeks shift happened. I made decisions faster, taking care of things. I really do it now, instead of putting it off. Had problems speaking up for my self. Something shifted, now
I just do it. I feel like I am getting organized. Always did surface now I am getting to the bottom.
Before remedy: I was feeling anxious about my marriage the past week, feeling unable to do proving. Mailman forgot to bring package, had to come back after delivering mail down street.
The package was substance E.
OK. When I can't get followup calls done. Just have to surrender to it. This happened before.
Feeling irritable and angry. Feel like I'd like to hurt someone, then feel remorse over the thought. Muttering and cursing at the ATM when no deposit envelopes were available. Someone
handed me an envelope and I started to storm inside the bank.
A feeling of sadness and despair, a kind of heartache.
(Supervisor): Started being relaxed again, feeling balanced, awareness in feet; "tingling" as if awakening, not unpleasant, kind of pleasant, kind of like mushrooms, feel something that wasn't there,
better see of cells, sometimes couldn't lift up feet, attached to ground, merging into ground.
Notice I'm not wearing or want to wear as much jewlery. It feels like too much.
General: I'm in an indifferent state, quiet state. No qualms of things going on. (In italics: she sounds, feels introverted. Feels bad that she can't give more symptoms. Speaks slower, more internalized, longer pauses between talking. Calmer. (3)
Quieter than usual. Was on farmers market, normally I am all up, "hi" to people, etc, but today I was quiet and didn't say anything.
I feel pre-period last two days. Irritable and feel a sharpness to responds to situation and people.
Supervisor--Hard time coming to terms with the question of good and evil? I've been think about the importance of keeping connection to higher state/the divine, the forces if you lose that, kind of being used by lower forces.
Supervisor--been thinking more strongly about it than usual as life goes by I look at different types of spirituality, right now Christian hermetic, Christian-the evils of the flesh, lower impulses, if not done with higher things in mind are not good.
I feel a sharpness to my responds to situation/people. I saw a sign on office bathroom handwritten saying, "Please close door when done"...my quick response was "Why?" in a quick temperament.
I feel like my sentences are short and quick.
I am not so resentful about things, comments that before would have hurt me. I let go of things. Don't have any outbursts of anger.
(Supervisor): My behavior is different, like stoned, it would be easier to describe these symptoms if I was depressed. It think about trees a lot, or a shrub. Wonder if remedy is a tree of some kind. I look at trees and think of them more.
(Supervisor): Psychedelic, different consiousness. Level of consiousness has altered somehow, better level of consiousness. Some sort of curative or maybe more positive change of how things were (before) more positive, when I was patient and not hurried. I've stepped beyond the mundane. More flexible and enjoyable, things don't bother me. I'm not getting upset internally as much.
Fear of getting chilled so bundling up to go outside.
Feel like I'm a boring person. Which is OK. Feel a little sad about it. Sort of quiet. That's OK. That's just where I am at now. This feeling came on in the last few days. There is more behind it; it's not really sad or sorry for myself. Check in tomorrow, perhaps I can name it then.
Took a nice hike. Went to birthday party with son. Nice day. Felt HA coming on, it was probably the heat.
Had to push myself to talk. If I would have had a choice, I would have gone off by myself.
Waking up, felt good (). Quiet, don't have a lot to say today. Don't want to rock the water. Don't want to start anything, so I don't have to finish it. Feel kind of sorry for myself.
Have these magnificent dreams and such a dull life. So I'm just quiet and watching. Don't want the excitement to be in arguments and flare ups. Longing for other excitement. Gave up alcohol last
September, now I don't have this as an excitement.
Supervisor--Nose: 3:00 p.m. ate and after eating started to sneeze, sneezed 4 or 5 times. "I can never just say the number, it always has to be 5 or 6, 40 or 5, etc."
Three times today hit my right shin against a coffee table (I never do this 3 times in one day.)
Supervisor--When you're in a pit, you can get distracted by looking at the pit rather than concentrating on getting out.
Supervisor--I have a bit of bravado today, I am still troubled, the flip side is optimistic.
Feel like I'm all alone. Don't want to be very social.
Having a hard time being patient with my mom who keeps talking of her pain. Don't want to take care of anyone. I want to be taken care of, pampered.
Strong see of well being. Less hurried.
I look different in the mirror. My face has a heavy, fallen look to me. I'm gray or pale. I look old and more wrinkled.
Feel very sad and lonely in a quiet way, calmly.
Weird old lady in supermarket. Face peeling like burnt. Something was off about her. Felt as if I look too close she would lash out at me. I saw her bitching at produce man because there were
no ripe bananas. Saw her in other isle, talking to a girl. Mother of girl came to me. This old lady said to my daughter, "you're a rude girl." I tried to find somebody to complain about her.
Woman and child didn't know what to do. Mother had to explain that there are mean people in this world. I started to freak, thinking she would talk to me and I would have to be rude to her.
At cashier, old lady again. She is checking out, goes back to get something, takes forever. Cashier takes next person. Old lady was outraged about that. I felt like she is violating the human kind.
Mind 06:XX:XX 01 I feel that I may have been possessed or influenced by a negative entity. I was at the opening night for my husband's new business venture, a bar and restaurant.
I had drank 1.5 glasses of wine, a long time acquaintance, who was drunk, was introducing me to her friend, who was also drunk. When her friend was told that I am a chiropractor, he started
ranting and raving about how terrible chiropractors are. I almost started to cry and then I snapped into a rage. I didn't say anything but grabbed my purse off of the bar stool, the strap of my purse caught the stool and the stool crashed to the floor. I stormed out and went to get something out of my car. I didn't think to disarm my car alarm and while it was going off I really didn't care if it bothered anybody. I felt upset the rest of the evening. I believe that my drinking alcohol and my negative emotions allowed a psychic invasion of my being. Especially since alcoholics attract negative beings to them, I was surrounded by negative energies and continued on Day 7.
Supervisor--feeling like I want to move up and out of gutter of heaviness. I've been feeling a lack of spiritual, the gross vibration don't suit my being. I feel better when I'm tuned into finer/more subtle things-of a higher quality.
Sad and lonely today, children very irritating. I have no time for them.
(Supervisor): Deep sadness and loneliness, not specific, nothing in particular, a melancholy.
I was very attracted to different colors and design when shopping. I am very attracted to pastels especially pale yellow, periwinkle, blue-turquoise-flowery desig. Wanted
very soft creams blues turquoise.
Supervisor--Vivid internal pictures of RS faces of people I know. Facial features and gestures very clear. Lasts for about 10 seconds.
Woke up feeling depressed, negative, grouchy, with low energy. I would see a dark, masculine energy or being in my space. I bathed with sea salt, burned sage and candles, surrounded myself with light and asked that this being go to the light. I felt better for about 30 minutes. Then felt off-center, tired, cloudy-thinking, weepy, which lasted until approximately 14 h.`
Supervisor--if I was a painter I could have painted her, not that they were there, almost as if I'd tuned into them like a radio signal. (At extraction question if it has something to do with Hale Bop?)
Feel like I am not connecting with people, that I'm being reserved or stand-off-ish. Like I'm not letting the real me be seen. Don't want to share my pain.
Feel lonely but not as bad as yesterday. Always feel very close to tears. I'll never get the love and affection I want. I don't get enough now.
Very angry at work after finding that I had lost two hours worth of work on the computer. Wanted to hit the computer with my fist. Followed by shooting pain originating in front of head above right forehead and shooting rearward.
(Comment of another supervisor): My impression is represented here too; usually prover 04 and I can really connect when we talk. I see her loneliness and distance from me and the
world. She is strong and in the 'proving' but there is that distance.
Spent the day shopping (about four hours) with my friend and was very focused.
(Supervisor): I think I am embarrassed that I have these feelings, for some reason I shouldn't have these feelings.
On beach today, wanted to go in water with bra and underwear, just didn't care.
But didn't want to embarrass my two boys and the water was also too cold. Normally I wouldn't even think about doing something like that. I am more introspective, don't care how she looks like.
Went out without any make up the last few days. Normally always put on at least a little bit of make up.
(Supervisor: like yesterday she sniffles during the phone call, no sneezing this time).
Someone yelled outside on the street as if in extreme distress. Followed by other voices, so it didn't seem necessary to investigate.
The quietness is kind of gone. Only feel quiet with husband, don't want to stir things up. Usually I don't give a shit and just say what I want to say.
Supervisor--(Asked if influenced by Hale Bop?) been thinking a lot about staying tuned into higher forces-to be positive different chakras. 2 petals
lotus-between eyes-ego-antennae, staying in tune, tuning into things you need to know. Thinking about these things, don't know if it has to do with proving, if it is proving view it is as
curative, spent many years on auto-pilot, whatever comes up, I let it take over, I've never felt like being in charge of my being, "this is what I am going to do, this is my belief." Never
felt I had enough information or knowledge to make these decision, in the absence of that, come what may, see what comes up, and see where it takes you. Have decided that is not the way
to go, a lot of chaos in the world, a lot of parasitic entities, without some structure/higher guidance things aren't going to fall into place. Just for the heck of it, it could happen and sometimes it
does, when young, it happen automatically.
Grieving for my sister and her limitation. I thought I was done with this emotion. I feel sad deep inside my heart for her (crying).
I do miss D. (could be one of the reason's why I am lonely).
(Supervisor): Working so intensely; sometimes I feel all my failures face me when I see my whole practice all together. Haven't done my job quite right enough.
Happy most of the day. No loneliness, better feeling of relating to people emotionally. Love my jog.
(in response to question from supervisor): Feel I can connect with people now, can hug people.
Feel I'm processing something about my sister. I have been thinking about her a lot. I'm not sure what's going on. Not totally aware there was nothing I need
to work out. Things are coming up.
Very sad in the evening from about 20 h. to bed. Feel like I never get the love and affection I want and that I'm not appreciated enough in my relationship and in some past relationships.
I feel so bitter, sour, resentful of everything.
Emotional yesterday and today. Cried easily on occasion with clients. Got teary eyed.
(Supervisor): Can't think or talk to anyone. Didn't want to talk or listen. Too much stimulation.
Woke shortly after dawn, thought there was an earthquake occurring.
Most of the day felt like in limbo, wanted to come home. Professional things happened. Strong.
Couldn't quite function mentally, felt foggy all day, an odd sensation in my head that I couldn't quite connect or get clear. Something felt in the way or held back.
Spent much of the day alone by choice. Didn't really want or have the energy to talk to people. Felt maxed out on concentration and listening to others (problems).
Feel free to go and do whatever.
Thinking got better as I spent time with my brother by 19 h.
Loved going to the river and looking at the flood. Loved walking by the river in the wooded areas and thinking about the river. (River flood of Minnesota. Made
the front page of newspaper).
I could really connect with him emotionally and mentally. Really enjoyed our time -- most enjoyable part of the day.
"Energy level?" This morning broke down in tears. Asking: what am I doing wrong? Husband has no compassion. He thinks he is doing all the work. I feel
really isolated right now. It is hard to be a health care provider and being sick. It is just not fair to tell people about a healthier way of living and not being healthy myself.
I know that in two weeks I will feel much better. Last two days didn't feel at all like talking. Especially not to talk about my sickness. When stuck in house, feel very dull.
Makes me feel insignificant. Love to talk to people. Have to do that every couple of days at least.
I bought 'Into the Wild.' Morbid. I read a short story about this a while back. I try to figure out his remedy. He is odd. I'd seen it before and turned it away.
Relaxed and happy. Am noticing that I have a higher level of patience (little things). Not so hurried. Don't feel the 'edginess' (that I sometimes feel).
Relaxed, happy, higher level of patience (little things). Examples: waiting in line or waiting for cars to go at stoplight. Not so much "late" get going here.
Feel at ease, safe, less fearful.
Mouse intermittently dead (?) working on computer. Mouse cursor freezes and won't move till computer is rebooted.
Office neighbor came in and asked me to fix his computer voice mail. His database of messages had become corrupted and I was able to fix it by running a maintenance utility.
Got a flat tire (right rear) while taking children from school to day care. Cold worsening throughout the afternoon.
Would love to be away from the city and camping somewhere near a lake or the ocean with no noise or cars. Also wanted to go on a road trip with my friend, maybe to Four Corners area to buy jewlery
As soon as I am in nature the more I feel the tingling, see of grounding, and much more peacefulness.
(Supervisor): That see (of connectedness with nature) is just there, Perhaps the remedy hit my weak point. Perhaps I just never knew I had asthmatic tendencies?
Head: Sharp pain, just above right temple. Very brief, but repeating 7 or 8 times at intervals that seem to be the length of a heartbeat.
Brief, sharp pain in upper temple.
Second dose five minutes ago. Numbness from lower lip to chin, where you can put tongue between lip and teeth. Lasted five minutes.
Neuralgia in left side of head. Moving from front (above left eyebrow) to the back (the base of the head) Lasts all day. Now still there not much.
Twitching pain. Like a blinking light going off and on.
Something definitely going on in the head and sinuses.
Shadow of my menstrual HA; left sided occiput.
Sharp pain in left temple extending over top of head while walking.
Very angry at work after finding that I AS had lost two hours worth of work on the computer. Wanted to hit the computer with my fist. Followed by shooting pain originating in front of head above right forehead and shooting rearward.
I had a headache that was like a congested feeling (sinusarea). Then I'd occassionally have a left temple stabbing pain.
Something was going on with head the last few days. Keep getting little head aches on the left side of head. Today in the afternoon. This is almost normal for me, but I don't get them daily for short periods of time (approximately 15 min.). Head ache on top of head, dull ache, comes on slowly, goes away fast. Chocolate makes it better. Maybe I need more sugar. I helps the head ache.
Feel like I was getting my usual left occipital HA. Went away in 20 minutes.
Woke with headache on left temple. A dull throbbing that effects the upper teeth on the left.
Went to sleep at 23 h. with some headache.
Woke feeling good. Slight shadow of a headache in left temple and left occiput.
Got up too late to eat breakfast and by noon headache much worse. Got a massage at noon and headache escalated to the point of nausea. Had to work until 19 h., came home, vomited, part of
the headache, the part in the occiput was > but the temple part remained.
Usual headache. It went away with deep breathing -- a new method. Desperation is the motivation!
Had a headache on the left side most of the day. Left temple. No nausea until the very end of the workday, about 19:30 h. I work and still had my left temple headache.
Pain left side where frontal, temporal meet. Brief, less than 55 seconds. Sharp pain, ext. top of head.
Got a headache in the mid-afternoon.
Dandruff is better. : feels like hair is growing fast. Everybody tells me my hair is getting so long.
Dull pain in vertex while shampooing hair. Occurred when pressure was applied to head.
Sharp pain in right mastoid, close to ear. OS Short duration; 3 seconds.
Pain in vertex, right side while urinating. A pressing pain. Similar to pain in vertex experienced while shampooing.
Pressing pain on sides of head, became more apparent while urinating.
Same symptom as day zero. Numbness from lower lip to chin, where you can put tongue between lip and teeth.
Pain 30 minutes after taking dose had slight headache, center of forehead, (3rd eye).
Was dull ached, on scale of 1-10, would rate as a 1 or 2. Lasted about 2 hours. No modalities noted.
Eye: Very brief, 1 second, piercing pain just below the right corner of right eye, on bony ridge.
Tired feeling in eyes, hard to keep eyes open.
Five and a half hours after dose, noticed dark circles under eyes.
Vision: My visual perception moved upward.
(Supervisor): First of all, where I looked was different. I looked up, higher up. The arteries of leaves. The vision part of it was soft but noticeable.
Patter of light visible behind eyelids before falling asleep.
Ear: "Stuffed up" section in ears.
Section of congestion and blockage in middle ears. Cracking noises when moving jaw.
Brief, sharp pain in left ear. Deep inside, probably eustachain tube.
Expectoration 09 05 Post-nasal drip from throat up to nose.
Nose: Intermittent flow of clear fluid from both nostrils.
Can taste brassy smell in nose and mouth. In nose, smell it just when I cough. Coppery taste, is this smell what people mean when they say metallic taste? Nose ran when I coughed.
Teeth 18:17:30 02 Searing pain in upper right bicepse
Face: White residue on lips and coated tongue.
Day not noted.
Pain (allergy attack?). No. This is the proving. Pain in cheekbone, underneath both eyes. Pain extends along this bone from temple to root of nose.
After getting off phone yesterday: biggest white ever on my chin. Had to pop it. Now it is healing. Usually heal slow; now in one hour from small thing into huge white head.
Feeling tired, really dark circles under my eyes. Wearing make up for the first time in days. Kept wiping eyes, thinking it is smeared make up, but it isn't. : circles under eyes, not like
normally dark lines under eyes. My son even asked what that is, and if he will get that too when he gets old.
Before going to bed, neuralgia in chin, between lower lip, not extending to corners of mouth, down to end of chin. When I touched it, it stopped. Didn't hurt, felt like nerves are swelling up.
About the size of a half a dollar. Lasted for about 20 minutes. Just before going numb.
Internal Throat: 20 minutes after taking dose had slight soreness of right toil. Lasted about 30 minutes.
One hour after taking dose (noon), slight soreness of left toil. Lasted approximately 30 minutes.
Throat: Have a sensation just below my throat pit like a constriction but not quite, and a see that I am almost going to have to cough or that I can't breathe.
Thick feeling in my throat. A fullness also feels somewhat mucousy, slightly swollen cervical glands.
Throat 05:XX:XX 04 (Supervisor): Woke up with thick feeling in throat, fullness, little mucousy, slightly swollen glands. Didn't turn into anything. No problem with swallowing. Thickness, fullnes, no
modalities, lasted an hour. I still have swollen glands.
Some soreness of throat. On inspection, OS uvula is inflamed and elongated. (Noted at extraction that uvula will get enlarged with acute sore throats.)
Throat is somewhat sore. Uvula is OS swollen and inflamed, hanging down.
Woke with sore throat and swollen gland. Hurt to swallow. Gone in an hour.
Went to bed thinking I might get sore throat again.
Woke with stinging pain the back of the throat (area of uvula) several times during the night.
Woke with sore throat again and it felt very bad with swollen gland and feeling in the throat and chest of mucus developing. The worst of the throat
went away by 10:00 h, but still fell like I'm fighting something in that area.
Feel like I'm getting a cold. Have congestion in my throat with mucus and keep having to clear my throat. Some sneezing.
Mucus in throat.
I was excited about going. My throat is no longer sore, but still mucus.
Feel like something is swollen on the sides of my throat when I swallow.
Got hoarse for about ½ hour. Seemed like I'd lose my voice but didn't. Had a disagreement with D and when we were talking about it my voice started giving way. Mild cold symptoms, but no sore throat.
No sore throat but some sneezing and slight running nose. Doesn't make me feel sick.
Got hoarse again for about ½ hour. No sore throat.
Sore throat on left side when I swallowed. Cold feel limbs. Tight and swollen on external throat. All went away by evening. Ache, so tight in neck on left side. Today (day 26) still tight in throat, still swollen, like size of a small M&M. Lymph node was swollen.
Urine: Thought that my urine smelled strong.
Bladder. Difficult to completely empty my bladder even if I force it. Have had this for a few days.
Neck: tension (l.). Left sacro iliac pain.
Neck really stiff today. Normally I crack my neck, now it hurts. Neck is where I always hold my tension.
My neck on both sides was very sore (front of the neck). Wanted to put cold pack on back of neck and heat on front of neck. Did get a chiropractic adjustment on neck and midback which
gave much relief but not to the headache. By the end of the day the left occipital area was also hurting. Headache in temple went on until midnight when I went to sleep.
OK, just feels stiff in neck, right on base of skull, stiff, hard to turn head, back and forward is a little easier than sideways which is almost impossible.
This pain in the neck, perhaps I have meningitis?
Neck is tight. Did some neck rolls and it hurt to do them.
Weird neck jolts start to dissipate. Now approximately every hour a couple of jolts. Had reflexology done, helped loosen it up a little, could crack my neck afterwards, felt really good. Have to grimace with the jolts, not comfortable.
I would not be that short, I would have a problem with it. Comes on in any positions, still or moving, time of the day.
Neck and shoulders very tight.
Back, neck better today.
Neck really stiff at base of (normally it is just the shoulders).
Back and neck on and off.
Kidneys: Drove to PA and have some kidney pain, like a see of being enlarged.
Stomach: Sharp twinge in stomach, one inch below sternum. Less than 2 seconds in duration.
Pain underneath left side of rib cage. From middle of that side to the side. Size of a quarter. Deep inside. Felt like a gas bubble or constriction. People had
this in ruby proving. It might be a nerve, no not an organ.
Woke up by the sensation of very fine pain jabbing me from inside of my body. Upper right quadrant of torso. Under my ribs possibly large intestine. Lasted
several minutes, when it was over I fell back to sleep.
Hungrier than usual. 1-2 hours after eating, have to eat again. Would like to blame my craving for ice cream on proving, but I don't think so.
Has a dull burn after eating grapes this morning. Then again this afternoon after eating crackers.
Still very, very hungry. One hour after eating a big meal, feel famine. Have to eat. No special cravings except chocolate and sweets, but I always crave these. Now it is more extreme. Sneak
in to my kids left overs from Easter and eat their chocolate. Hunger more intense than a few days ago.
Thirsty today. Can't quench my thirst.
Hunger. Sure eat a lot more than usual. Perhaps this is where the digestive stuff comes from.
A quick, about 10 seconds, needle like, sharp sticking sensation/movement in lower left intestine area. It was the same feeling but larger as before in the stomach.
Prevalent hunger. Not as voracious as the other days. Starts to go back to normal. Breast still tender. I hope I'm not pregnant.
One bout of nausea for ½ hour.
Slept from 19 - 22 h. Got up and ate several crackers with peanut butter. Nausea better.
Lost desire for ice cream, sweets, cheese puffs. Indifferent to them now.
Particular about food. Nothing appealed and had to think hard to think of something to eat and when I did decide food was very satisfying.
Noticed I wanted spicy food. Especially Mexican. Had it today and yesterday.
Noticed 2 things about food. Eating eggs; I could eat one every morning. Think about eating deviled eggs and egg salad. Want Mexican food; spicy and with hot sauce and chips.
Today and day 35, digestion fine, empty feeling in stomach. Want to nibble on stuff. Nurturing food. Mommy stuff. Even so I just ate.
Abdomen: The gastrointestinal is still there. No diarrhea, stool normal, but still gurgling, like intestines are rearranging. Yes, I am still very quiet. I'm not a chit-chatter now. More introspective.
Thinking more about what I'm saying.
Lower intestine stuff or ovulating is going on. Ache, mild cramps.
Gurgling in intestines. Had to use will power to stay in bed, but eventually it urged me out of bed. There was nothing, just some slime and gas. This went on far about three hours 6 - 8:30 h., had
to run to bathroom 3-4x this time. Always ineffectual urging, just had the urge to go, passing didn't amel. Finally after a run in the morning, I had normal but looser than usual bowel movement.
I can hear the ygurgling right now (22 h.). Wasn't comfortable all day, but not really in pain.
Stool: Stool not complete; incomplete evacuation.
Looser and thinner than normal.
Supervisor: narrow partial stool, didn't all come out.
Urging to stool, however incomplete. Inability to evacuate despite prolonged straining.
Supervisor: Stools a little different, smaller, tending towards softer.
Cough. 8 year old son has bronchitis for 8 days. Coughs until throws up. Went finally to MD. Don't want to do steroids.
Give him bronchodilator. Does it have to do with the proving? Poor guy! It is very odd for him to be sick so long. 8 days is a long time. Coughing until you throw up is hard.
Cough starts with tickle in throat now and is spasmodic. I can feel mucous all the way down to stomach. Lungs are so heavy, feels as if they touch stomach, full of mucous.
Respiration: Yesterday taking deep breath there was this squeak at the end of inhaling. Never had anything like that. Cough much deeper and more productive.
OK waking up. After taking tea, melon, vit C and Zinc, had to cough so badly almost threw up. Gagging cough. I got ash with and felt really sick.
Driving son to school, still as white.
Lungs feel cleaner or perhaps deer? Couldn't breathe. Felt like I have emphysema. Felt like lying down, just took it easy. Had to lie down at 14 h.
Have a little fever. I was just too exhausted from coughing.
Feels like emphysema. How can people keep smoking when they have that?
Definitely worse thinking about symptoms.
Now can hold it for a few minutes before I have to cough. For last few days cough so unproductive. Neck still stiff.
Yesterday nothing changed. Kept coughing, very productive. Can't smell breath but I know it smells terrible.
What is coming out of my lungs is greenish flemish yuki. Breathing better; constricted feeling and wheezing is gone. Was coughing through night, had to get up to spit out stuff.
Male Genitalia: Genitalia; right testicle, pain, fairly sharp, happened as I was getting into the car and didn't last long.
Female genitalia: Started first dose at 8 .h., Saturday of Easter weekend. While 2 pellets were under my tongue I got my period. Day 25 of my cycle and usually the day I get it. Woke at 8 h.
and took my remedy before rising.
Had bilateral ovarian cramping with an occasional sharp pain. > pressure of hands on both ovaries. Went away when I got up and moved around. Lasted 15 minutes.
This is all I remember. I have painful ovarian cramps especially on the left side this morning.
Got my period with no pain or symptoms. Unusual.
Been feeling a strong sexual desire with is unusual during my period.
Started period on day 21; 7 days early.
The flow of menses is heavy today, unusual for me, usually lighter.
No libido whatsoever. Not that unusual. But now it's getting really prolonged and worse. I just want to stay in my own feeling, feel more internal.
Got my period today. : seems like dark purplish. Breast tenderness subsided, more exasperated.
Period normal color now.
When I was laying in bed this morning I had ovarian cramping that was very noticeable. I wonder if I am ovulating?
(Supervisor): Many earlier menstrual symptoms > walking around.
(Supervisor): When headache gone, strong menstrual cramps behind pubic bone. < Walking around. > sitting, sitting still, felt good to do that. Bleeding of this period is different. Not so protracted.
(long pause) (She doesn't usually have menstrual cramps.)
No menstrual left sided headache for the first time in a year.
Vaginal discharge slightly yellow with an unpleasant odor that I can't quite describe.
Back: Woke up at 7 h. with sharp, stabbing pain in mid thoracic spinal muscles. Went away when I got up and moved.
Sharp, pulsing pain in upper right buttock. Brief, one second, repeated 4 - 5x.
My sacrum has a distinct feeling of being pulled downward into the earth.
Sacro iliac joint ache never really OS develops.
Had a dull ache in my back all the way across right below my shoulder blades.
The ache made me feel nauseous. It lasted about 5-10 minutes and happened on my dog walk.
My back hurt in two places at two separate times. Just below the shoulder blades across the whole back there was an aching pain like my back was trying to open or expand. The other pain was around
my kidneys (OS), a dull pressure like they were swollen or congested.
Sacro iliac joint ached like a tooth ache.
Shoulders felt somewhat tight.
Upper back around the scapula is tight.
19 – 20.30 h shoot pain up the neck, base of neck to skull. Feels like neck is grimacing. One or two quick shocks at a time. Like a mini heart attack in the neck. Neuralgia thing.
Neck less stiff. If it would be more that 1-2 joints it would be scary and painful. On both sides, right up the nerve cords right next to the spine. Feel 'after shocks' tenderness where it happened. Should get a massage but it is definitely a nerve thing and not a muscle thing.
Shoulders and neck and now back near kidney area are tight.
Have some joint aching in my shoulder joints.
Left sacro iliac really aches. Could be from rigorous (horse) ride yesterday.
Right trapezoids mm cramp this morning.
Back, right shoulder blade in a spot towards the middle of the back on the end of the shoulder blade, sharp, stabbing pain. Yesterday night after 22 h. watching a movie laying in bed. Came on suddenly, out of the blue. Every time inhaling, pain worse. Got a little frantic, hoping this doesn't last long. Had to lie down and relax. It was still aching, could only take short breaths
and went to sleep. Tried to work it out for 3 - 5 minutes, but then just laid down and went to sleep. Today went for a run (first one for a long time). Was still tender feeling, aware of the spot.
Was a spot as big as a nickel, radiating nerve pain. Perhaps like a muscle spasm, but almost too pinpointed for a muscle spasm.
Chest. Breast tender; odd time for that in my cycle. Normally this happens only a few days before my period.
Anxiety in region of diaphragm. Feel some tightness in breathing.
The worst is the burning in the lungs. Achiness all over. Hard to function. Hard to work up mucous.
Can hear a deep wheezing. Have to work to get anything up. When I'm sick always first cold then bad cough.
Difference is now that it is not productive, it is dry and asthmatic side. I just take it slow today. It's going deeper. Hard not to take any remedies. I took vitamin C (2000mg) and Zinc (60mg).
Lying down, wheezing, something is in lungs. Can't talk for a long time without coughing. Mucous not as green as yesterday. More clear today. Cough more great irritability. Hard to breathe,
breathing makes me cough. Shower stream and hot tea makes cough better.
Doing OK today. Better today. Cough is deeper. Rattle. Younger son woke up with croup. Lungs are weak link in family.
Sternum is very sore (lower end). Put some Traumel (Homeopathic low potency complex cream) on it and neck, seemed to help.
Feeling of congestion in chest worse in evening. A section of pain, dull, burning in left chest, possibly head. Continuing for 20 seconds.
Extremities. Numbness down left arm. Lasted 2 minutes.
Sciatic pain down buttocks, right side (that before) Sciatica went away. I started the proving even though I wasn't in great shape. Remedy seems to resonate. I go on with life easier today.
Feet seem unusually cold (front part of feet and toes).
Fingers are swollen.
My entire legs feel larger, wider. Still a strong see of awareness in my feet, almost a tingling seation.
Arms feel lighter.
Shoulders seem more relaxed.
Strong feeling of feet tingling and now occasionally hand tingling (in palms).
Legs feel heavy and difficult to move. An effort to walk uphill, like walking through sand.
Left wrist pain on extended malion following fall on rollerblades yesterday (exacerbation of OS).
Sometimes feel lightness in arms but not like yesterday.
Tingling in entire legs, feet, hands, and across scapula.
Legs felt heavy, difficult to move, effort to move up hill, like walking through sand - resistance.
Today can feel all my toes, not as rooted into ground. Tingling is more today, more distinct.
Aching pain in right bicep last for about 5 seconds.
Upper thighs have tingling from feet to knees. It's not tingling.
Brief, less than 1 second, sharp pain in region of right ring finger. Metacarpal. Pain briefly extended up the arm.
My right knee ached and my right baby toe had a pulling pain. All I could do is come home and lay down and try to get warm. I felt like I was getting the flu.
Still have tingling in feet (when I think about it).
My hip joints ached and it hurt to lay on them.
Went to bed about 23 h. and woke at 3 h. after a fitful sleep with tossing and turning and feeling like inside my legs and feet I was burning hot and somewhat swollen.
My body was not hot, but a lot more so in my legs and feet. This was an old symptom of 5 - 6 years ago.
My wrists keep going out of alignment and snapping.
My hand joints were aching (thumb).
My hands feel like they are trembling. Nothing visible.
When I drive, soreness in joints of left hand, on plam of hand, middle finger. Pressing on palm, where finger connects to hand, a bony perturbance, it is sensitive, when I drive and hold steering wheel.
Shoulder joints ached.
Top of foot still hurts on and off. Feels like a muscle is too short and pulls so as the last toe seems to pull upward. Happen when I move my foot a certain way. (very old symptom)
Felt the tingling sensation in my feet and somewhat in the legs.
Noticed this morning that my nails no longer are splitting as badly longitudinally. This was very pronounced before.
Realized that my right toe problem is where an old bunion used to be on the side of my foot in my twenties.
Woke feeling swollen and stiff in my hands and feet.
Something is up with left knee. Feels strained. Was walking and running a lot today. Non-stop days.
Sleep: Woke up between 1 and 1:30 h. 2 nights, no symptoms. First and second day of proving.
Didn't want to go to bed early last night Staying up much later.
Slept very well and deep. Wake up with good energy.
D says I've been tossing and turning at night. Flipping over and back. Have no see of it and am sleeping soundly.
Still don't want to go to be and stay up even if I'm tired.
Woke up, had been sleeping soundly, no see of anything during the night. It was like I slept and fell into a deep hole.
Slept so soundly at night I don't even feel like I dream - no see of any dreams on waking.
Slept hard last night. No dreams. Almost had one, or a bit of one.
The last two nights, very restless sleep. Woke up really, really tired. This morning, woke up at 5:30 am and felt like I had no sleep at all. More tired than usually. Like drugged head,
wishing I could just keep my eyes closed. It feels like I am not getting enough sleep, even so I sleep a lot. The dreams are like processing all night.
Perhaps I am hyper vigilant to remember my dreams. I'm trying so hard.
Tossed and turned all night. Disturbed by dream and flipping around.
Slept very well last night. Woke up rested for the first time in a few days.
Sweating in bed at night still. Felt clammy in morning. No fever.
Woke feeling very well, like I had an excellent nights sleep.
Woke startled as from a dream, but couldn't remember even dreaming. Not scared but suprised.
Skin: All are painful, sore, like a bruise. Feel like a witch (laughs).
Splinter in left hand, was normal at 15 h., not all read around it, swollen, painful. In palm, little nick, all red around it, swollen. Hurt back of right leg today, feels like puncture wound,
feels bruised all around it. All these little nicks look like they could get infected. Did I get...(disease from dirty wounds). Pimple on chin, huge, red, will have to pop it. Something is up with healing mechanism.
Pimples on right side of face. Really big, bad ones. Red swelling pain, had to pop it tonight. Wasn't there at 15 h., by 20 h. had to pop it.
(Supervisor): Skin looks terrible; blotchy, pale, still grey.
(Supervisor): Skin is terrible, have pimples. Don't look as grey today.
(Supervisor): Skin looks terrible, pimples on face and chest. Don't feel as if I look as old and grey (has to be the cream I'm using).
Skin somewhat better, but still pimples.
Fever: < 16 – 18 h., lying down, after sleeping a while. Fever was at 101.3° F.
Generals: About 10 h. went for a walk with my dog. Feel an incredible see of body lightness, but can really feel my body.
(Supervisor): Can feel all of body and feel more inside it. Extremely grounded. In fact I cannot (can't make out the word) as though I feel rooted.
Strong appetite, stronger than usual desire for sweet cookies.
Very tired, fell asleep while reading.
The weather is affecting me. It's colder and windier and agitating to my nerves.
(Supervisor): I had a lot of flexibility today.
(Supervisor): It was raining when got out. I can get chilled really easy. The damp very interesting (may have said temperature and not damp).
(Supervisor): Cramping better. Up and walked around, didn't have it rest of day.
Got chilled easily. Got agitated, because it was colder.
Get cold quite easily (my low back). I bundle up and then can overheat, then uncover. Then get chilled.
Yesterday didn't take a shower all day. Normally I never do that. Just didn't care. Kept thinking: OK tomorrow morning, but I didn't. Finally took one at 13 h. The last weeks I took
normally two showers a day. I just didn't care about hygiene. Do things around house. House starts to look really good, mostly because son is home, so I am home.
Feel really tired around 13 h., ready to take a nap.
16 – 20 h. feel good, this is normally my down time in the day.
I am tired, tired.
(Supervisor): I don't like it damp.
(Supervisor): Sometimes with too much wind I get bothered. It's as if it can blow through me in spots, (in body torso, not LIMBS or head). Like I would have a hole and would be cold.
My temperature is a little warmer than usual.
(Supervisor: I ask her husband to talk about his observation). Nothing. Still bossy, aggressive (laughs, just kidding). She is a little more calm (they hadn't talked about that together).
Woke up really tired. : all day really tired. 5 - 5:30 h. eyes burning, tired, swollen. Still swollen a little now. Taking bath rugs out, dust, was going crazy because of the dust. If I had to
start to sneeze could not have stopped. Really sensitive to dust.
Tired, tired, tired.
Body temperature is a little higher than usual. Hot in bed. Normally I'm all bundled up in bed, not now.
Never before little wounds swelled up like yesterday. Today not swollen, red or bruised feeling anymore. : white blood cells coming in really fast around little wounds.
I have been craving sparkling apple cider. Last night thirsty, maybe a little thirstier.
Want to shop. Look at things. Try on clothes. Look at beautiful jewelery.
Woke feeling groggy and swollen and irritable, but that passed as soon as I was up for 10 - 15 minutes.
Also really want to smoke cigarettes.
(Supervisor): Drawn to very weird clothes; very soft, vibrant, this fabric, iridescent, wanted really badly texture wasn't good but iridescent really incredible green, odd things. Bought
a floral skirt, has turquoise, will go back to other store and get that turquoise sweater. Nearly bought this dress with huge yellow florals on it. "It was a drug induced attraction, I know it."
(Supervisor): Sunday 14 h., snowing, wind blowing. By 17 h., freezing cold again. I hate the wind. I get scared.
H/A congested (sinuses) occasional right stabbing pain. Stuffy nose, went away last night (started around 16 – 17 h., got worse 3 h.).
(Supervisor): Slept 23 h. to 3 h. Had a dream Guy was really bossy - he was like a proving supervisor. He told me that the proving was over. I felt disappointed and wanted to argue.
I know that I was tossing and turning in my sleep. Inside (under skin of legs and feet) was hot and felt a bit swollen. Really warm. There is no temperature range; either I am too hot, or too cold.
This feeling of heat; had 5-6 years ago; let to first remedy I ever got; sulphur.
Took it away. Then got cold. At 3 h. all joints were swollen. My right thumb joint (was better at 10 h. when I woke).
Wrists and ankles were cracking and snapping. I got up and wrote it all down. Better if up and moving around.
Stiffness and swelling went away. 4 h. went back to sleep until 10 h. (slept solidly). Woke up today feeling 'pretty good.' When I woke up at 3 h. everything was worse and then it all turned around up until 16 h.. I was feeling pretty good.
I took a couple hour nap. Woke and stared out the window watching the wind and snow blowing thru the trees and feel very cold and desolate. I wanted to take a hot bath but was too tired. No appetite, but at one point ate a half piece of raisin bread toasted with raspberry cream cheese. Very thirsty for cold (OS/RS).
During the night, the weather had changed from upper 50°s to 15°. About 14 h. it started snowing and really blowing. By 17 h. I felt freezing cold.
(Supervisor): 16 h. to 4 h., things were bad.
(Supervisor): Woke feeling fine, went shopping again, was totally focused, didn't even think about outside world.
(Supervisor): Things got bad until 4 h.
Feeling very hot this afternoon. I have the windows wide open and a cool breeze is blowing, but still over-heated.
Chilly # overheated. Keep rolling sleeves up and down.
Thirst for juices (sparkling) apple juices. Pretty strong thirst.
Today I was cold and hot, would open the window, would have to roll up my sleeves and then it would start blowing papers, close the window, would start getting hot. Impossible to get a temperature that I could feel comfortable with. Usually I can work for some period of time.
Good energy by 11 h. Bad from 9 – 11 h. Very tired.
(Supervisor): Today I have a little stiffness, a little chilly, again if too much clothes and then I move around too much, I overheat.
(Supervisor): Wind; I think I am afraid of being really cold, very unusual, I grew up in Minnesota. I always liked the wind, its very unusual for me. I couldn't even got out, had to ask someone else to take the dog out.
Don't feel very refreshed.
Couldn't get up during the night or early morning to record dreams or even go over them in my mind.
Felt tired on waking, but cheerful.
This neighbour is such a pervert. If I would be (?) woman I would tell him to stop. He can only get away with it because of his age. All of these boys I went out with were in my dreams lately.
Never think about them in real life. Husband wasn't in this dream. Dreams are regressing (into earlier adolescent when I didn't know my husband yet).
Normally I dream about present times. Felt good, like no responsibility like having a husband. Mother was in all my dreams so far, my protector. Dreams night 13-14 couldn't remember, was so
sick. Yesterday never went out. Didn't do anything.
Feel tingling all over today, even in the earlobes, and it's not a bad sensation.
(Supervisor): Like everything (some humor in her tone) it seems to go away when I get up and walk around. An amelioration for this remedy.
Tired all day.
Was so enjoyable. Today was perfect weather day for me. Warm but a slight soft breeze. Only in low 70's. Overcast with some sun, and then late in the day at 16 h. a warm rain.
I feel weary.
Woke up today feeling really tired and slightly sick.
(Supervisor): Yesterday and today I want to create a peaceful and unhurried atmosphere. I went out of my way a little to not get hooked into a busy scene. Went to Monclair postoffice, avoiding
Piedmont (busy area).
Really tired all day.
Weird things are happening. Tonight in the study group, nobody showed up. Never happened before. I affiliate it. Normally there are at least 4 regulars. I ran the group for 4 years, lost steam. It is not
like me, not to do anything for it. My client didn't show up either, very weird.
Lots of cancer is coming up for people around me, over the last week. Breast cancer. Melanoma over back.
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